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Poem

This is a discussion on Poem within the Hobbies forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

     
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        05-11-2010, 09:39 PM
      #1
    Foal
    Question Poem

    So I wrote a poem and I wanted to get a little feedback on it because I don't want to read it to my class if it's really bad or stupid. So please give me honest feedback. Thanks! Here it is:

    Sidewalk Chalk
    Sidewalk chalk.
    Written smoothly against the roughly paved sidewalk.
    I write what I want
    I know my most treasured secrets are safe with you.
    No one will ever know.
    Then the rain comes along and washes you away,
    But I know you're still there
    Holding my secrets hostage,
    Deep down,
    Below the ground.
    Invisible to the naked eye.
    I trust you.
    My best friend.
    The sidewalk chalk.
         
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        05-12-2010, 05:00 AM
      #2
    Super Moderator
    I like it . Very interesting view, I'm sure the most of people haven't thought that.
         
        05-12-2010, 07:19 AM
      #3
    Green Broke
    I like it, very differnent prespective like TaMMa89 said
         
        05-12-2010, 08:43 AM
      #4
    Foal
    Thank you:)
         
        05-12-2010, 08:44 AM
      #5
    Foal
    Should I change the line "I trust you" to "I confide in you"???
         

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