I did have empathy. I wondered around crying for hours, filled with all the guilt in the world. NO I did not like her, but as I said in my original post I did not wish death upon her. It was an ACCIDENT. While not fixing the fence was our fault, it was also the drivers fault for not checking. He must have known the goats were out, he loved the babies. I'm sure he knew he had hit her, but no. He left her there. 5-10 minutes later, she was found. She was actually going to a new home. I was planning on selling her after the babies were weaned at 12 weeks of age.
Our farm is managed by three people - my mother, my step father, and myself. I take care of most/all goat and horse management.
On the part of my most loved Riot: yes, we did not give him vet care. Why? My mother and stepfather are nurses. Most things that we run into can be treated as you would a human. Most of his problems were caused by another buck we have, named Billy. I have tried over and over again to rehome Billy, but no one will take an aggressive buck. Once I discovered Riot had hematomas, Billy was removed. It was the middle of winter, we didn't have the time/resources to build a new shelter and pen. So Billy went on a tie out. Riot died three days. After the other buck was removed. I thought Billy was the COD, my mom thought it was a heart condition. Most of his defects/injuries were probably caused by Billy. It was rut (breeding season) and males tend to fight because of their raging hormones.
My bucks broke fences to get with my doe. It took some time before we found the right fence, by that time Riot had bred Dee. His swayed back started to develop after the deed was done. As for the things on his testicles, I will never know. I wanted a necropsy to be done, but he was in the ground by the time my mom told me he died.
Feel free to ask me any questions regarding my mental stability, or my animal management. I'll own up to what has happened. I'm not going to be a child about it any longer.