Horses are Having The Worst Week Ever
By Michelle Collins
It might only be Monday, but allow us to preemptively award this weekís ďWorst Week EverĒ title to the oft-forgotten animal that is the horse. Look, letís faces ó pretty much every week for a horse sucks. The lucky ones are traded away from their horse families to eventually be ridden by the bony asses of the nationís wealthiest; the unlucky ones are forced to drag unsightly tourists around Central Park in exchange for a slap in the horse face and some hay. Indeed, being a horse ainít all itís cracked up to be.
But dare we say that, if you are a horse, this might be your worst week ever. First, we get news from England about a horse named Pandora who is allergic to grass ó canít be near the stuff. As a result, her owners have no other choice but to dress her up like a total a**hole:
As though this Ku Klux Klanzy get-up isnít bad enough, poor Pandora also has to take 15 horse-sized anti-histamine tablets a day, not to mention drink something called sugarbeet chaff, which sounds both disgusting and yet oddly erotic.