anyone care to redline something for me? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 24 Old 05-01-2013, 12:42 AM Thread Starter
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anyone care to redline something for me?

I am NOT happy with the head and neck :/

This guy is a Flash Uni, a species I invented :) they have super-short backs and loooooootttsssss of hair. Overall I'm pretty pleased, it's just the head and neck that aren't what I want. I feel like I've got the perspective on the head all wrong, and his expression is meant to be sort of flirty... he's coming across as more shy, to me.

This is the ref I've been using for the head and neck, and I've been using this for the body. It's not unusual for me to combine refs to get the exact pose I want.

Anyone got any thoughts on what exactly I'm doing wrong? [EDIT; link to the actual dA upload here... you can see more detail with it bigger...]
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File Type: jpg kamira_collab___luce_and_arti_wip1_by_2close2dasun-d63nvn2.jpg (18.7 KB, 151 views)

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Last edited by blue eyed pony; 05-01-2013 at 12:44 AM.
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post #2 of 24 Old 05-01-2013, 12:46 AM
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I'd use this one on the head:

Stallion Parade 38 by ~ValkyrieStock on deviantART

I'm an artist, but I've never tried or even figured out what deviant art is!

I'd also open up the mane so that one can see the neck, because as it is its looking really heavy in that area giving an illusion of a super heavy/thick neck. You could possibly flip a portion of it to the other side if the neck, and I really think this is causing the front of the horse to look to heavy/dense.

Did that make sense?

Last edited by Muppetgirl; 05-01-2013 at 12:49 AM.
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post #3 of 24 Old 05-01-2013, 01:23 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks :) that one's neck is set on too low for what I want, Luce has a really high set neck, but I guess I could use the head on its own and freehand the neck...

Lucifer, just for reference this is the character. He has a super-thick double mane. But perhaps instead of a quiet calm day it could be super-windy, thus lifting his mane?

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post #4 of 24 Old 05-01-2013, 01:39 AM
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I think I'd like to see more of the face, like towards me would be sexier? More like flirty. More nose higher head.
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post #5 of 24 Old 05-01-2013, 01:48 AM
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not a critique or any help, but once when I was back in college I met this architecture professor who did this interesting excersize with his students, to promote original thinking and problem solving;

he had them imagine a world of Centaurs. How would they get about? would they have any vehicles? houses? what would their clothing look like? and , what would their coffins look like? everything. design for a race of Centaurs; everything. it was an interesting challenge.
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post #6 of 24 Old 05-01-2013, 02:51 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks all :)

I fiddled with the lines a bit and came up with this, still not totally sure about it though. I have a feeling this is going to be one of 'those' pieces :/

I'm collaborating with someone and that someone owns Luce's mate. I'm doing him, she's doing Artemis. I'm right on the verge of scrapping this set of lines entirely and trying something completely different :/

Larger sized version: clicky
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File Type: jpg kamira_collab___luce_and_arti_wip2_by_2close2dasun-d63ofrq.jpg (18.3 KB, 133 views)

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post #7 of 24 Old 05-01-2013, 07:03 AM
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I really like it!
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post #8 of 24 Old 05-01-2013, 02:12 PM
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I like the first one better. But mabey have the feathering on his legs like the second one.

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Last edited by sinsin4635; 05-01-2013 at 02:14 PM. Reason: Had to add.
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post #9 of 24 Old 05-02-2013, 02:41 AM Thread Starter
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sinsin, I actually do too, but I kind of messed up and deleted the first :/

oh well. next time I'll trust my instincts and leave well enough alone.

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post #10 of 24 Old 05-12-2013, 01:57 AM
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The back was too short and arched, the angles of the tops of the legs didn't match up with the bottoms, and the angle of the front end didn't match up with the back end.

Very nice line work over all! I like the design a lot and I think you've got a great thing going for you. Keep it up! I'd like to see some colored works, too, in the future. :)


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