Asking about moving the horse I'm leasing.

I figured I should get some opinions on this first. I don't want to step on any toes or stick my nose where it doesn't belong.

A few days ago Lucas' owner (my friend) came with me to the barn where I work and take lessons. While we were there she was looking at a paper that had boarding prices and whatnot on it and she commented on the fact that boarding there was much cheaper than where Lucas is. I told her it wasn't really that much cheaper because boarders have to take 2 lessons a week and do one show series (I guess this is per year, the paper isn't to clear about that). She also mention that she didn't like the field the geldings go out in.

I figured that was the end of it, but I started really thinking about it the other day when I went to feed that horses. I would love to have Lucas there with me. It would be a lot easier for me to only have one barn to go to and I would already be there 3 days a week to work so it would be a lot easier to ride him if he were there. I could also take lessons on him then, which would be helpful, and I think we might work better together if I were feeding him 3 times a week. I know I had a better bond with some of the horses there simply because I feed them. I also like the atmosphere better at my barn. I used to board my horse where Lucas is and I never really liked being there. I thought it had to do with some other things that were going on when I had my horse, but going there now to ride Lucas I feel the same way. So. All in all I would much prefer having Lucas where I work/ride.

I talked to my friend about it today, just asking if she would seriously consider moving him. She said her only concern was the field he would be in so I told her I could ask about having him turned out in the outdoor ring. They have used the outdoor ring before for turning out horses that get beat up a lot by the others so I'm not sure if this is something my BO would consider for a boarder horse. But I thought I would ask since it can't hurt. I would also have to see if my taking 2 lessons a week and showing would work since I'm leasing him. I don't think that will be a problem, the turn out situation is the only ting I'm worried about.

Anyway we discused all of this and she seemed to like the idea and be excited about it. She just mentioned that it would be up to her mom in the end because she pays the bills and he is technically her horse. I had wanted to talk to my BO first, to see if it would even be possible to move him there, before asking her mom about it, but now I'm wondering if that is a good idea. I don't want anyone to think I'm doing soemthing I shouldn't. He's not my horse so it's not up to me where he lives. I don't want my BO or my friend's mom to get mad at me for asking about moving him when he's not mine. What do you guys think? My friend thinks it is fine for me to ask my BO before talking to her mom about it. Is this a bad idea? Am I doing something I shouldn't?

Anybody?

Ask and be polite as possible. The worst that can happen is they say no. If they do leave it at that. Don't keep asking. Are you paying to lease him?

Yes I am paying to lease him. I guess my question is more, who should I talk to first about moving him? Should I ask my friend's mom if it's ok to move him first? Or talk to my BO about whether he can even be moved there or not?

I think your BO to mull over the turn out thing.

This made me giggle. It so reminds me of the who do we ask first dilemma when you are a kid and you want your friend to spend the night or come to dinner. Do you ask the friend if they are available first or do you ask your mother first if it is OK.


In this case I would ask the BO first to see if there is an option for the horse to go there. There is no reason to have the mother making a decision on something that can not happen.

Tell the BO that you are just in the thinking stage and have not asked the horse owner yet.

Ok thanks guys! I will ask the BO if she's around when I go to feed today. Now I just have to find out why my friend wants her horse out only in a flat field (so I can explain if the BO asks). I really don't understand it. A lot of the horses at my barn are older and they do fine with the hill in their field, and his age is the only reason I can think of as to why it might bother her. Anyway thanks again. I will let you guys know how it goes.

I do not think you need a reason when you ask. Simply state that you were talking to the owner and they would require the horse not go out in the gelding pasture, is the horse being turned out in the outdoor ring an option?

So this whole situation seems to have gotten turned around. I thought the issues was going to be more on my BOs side (not that I expected too many issues) but I talked to her and she was great about the whole thing. She even offered to wave some expenses because I said I wouldn't be able to cover them for October (I figured we'd have to wait til November anyway). So everything with my barn is great. The more I think about having him there, the more excited I get. There are just so many reasons it would be better to have him there with me.

So I was asking my friend why he couldn't go out where there are hills and asking if she thought the one small hill in the geldings field would be ok. She told me her problem was that there was a big step down into the geldings field. I talked to my BO about it and she told me they are fixing it this weekend. So no problem there but I didn't get to tell my friend about that yet. I think I may have overwhelmed/freaked her out with talking so much about moving him. I was just trying to relay the converstaion to her so she knew all of what was said but I guess it might have been too much. My BO had been asking when we would want to move him and I told her November probably because there were the expenses I couldn't cover and I didn't know if his current barn required 30 days notice. She told me she'd wave the expenses I couldn't cover for October and said if we wanted to move him this weekend we could get him hauled for free because the new BM is moving her horse in and she could pick him up too. So I told my friend that, figuring she wouldn't want to move him in so soon since she hasn't had a chance to think it over or talk to her mom yet. But I think telling her about it bothered her. She kind of seemed like she didn't want to talk about it any more after that. Before she seemed to really like the idea but now she's said she doesn't want him moved while she's not there (she goes away to school) and that she doesn't want to worry about it til November (when she comes home). I kind of get not wanting him moved while she's not there and I thought it wouldn't happen til November if it was going to happen at all. It's just that tlking about it I now realize how much better things would work if he were moved and if his barn doesn't require 30 days then why not move him sooner rather than later?

I want to write out all the reasons I think moving him would be a good idea and send them to her in an email but I don't want to keep pushing. I also want to put in that they're fixing the field. But again, I don't want to push her if it's really bothering her. I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to force her into it. He's her horse and it's up to her where he lives. But I feel like our texting converstaion wasn't good for getting across how good it would be for him there and I want to have everything out there for her to consider.

So should I back off for now and bring it up again later? I really don't know what to do now.

Personally, I'd back off until she's thought about it herself and spoken to her mother about it.
I wouldn't say anything else about it for another couple weeks and just tell your BO that your friend is thinking about it but it might not happen.
If your friend hasn't said anything to you about it for another couple weeks, just ask her casually if she's thought anymore about it and if she hasn't then just let her know the field's been fixed and any other things she may need to know.