Being Solicited for board - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 04:12 PM Thread Starter
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Being Solicited for board

The guy who owns the place where my horse is in board has been sexually harassing me. Comments about my bust size my butt etc. I put it out of my mind thinking "oh he's just a lonely old man let him look" but lately it has gotten physical. He has put his hand down my shirt slapped my butt etc. I asked him not to but today while I was out there I talked to him about possibly doing a trade for this mare that I have been training and working with. I normally charge $1000 for braking and training, my horses always get trained to bit and hackamore as well as spur trained, trained to the crop, trail broke, trained to cross bridges and water with a rider and all of the basics. He told me he wanted between $500-$1000 for her so I figured since I have been training her that we could do a trade instead of him pay me to train her and then me pay him for her.
So this morning I talk to him about it saying That I was looking for the best way to get her/what I want and get him what he wanted for her. He said "I dont think you can give me what I wanted" while reaching out to play with the zipper of my jeans. I of course told him no and he said "well pop in some time and we'l take care of some of your pasture rent with it". Soliciting me! My dad knows that he has tried to put his hands down my shirt once already but I cant tell them about how bad it is because my mom doesnt think I should have a horse and that anything I get myself into because of my horse is my fault. And I cant let my fiance know because he will leave basic to kill this guy and the Marines is his dream.

I plan to report him but I want the mare and my horses out of there before I do so that he cant cause problems with them. It should be known to the other boarders what he is doing because most of them are women. I dont have someone to go over there with me all the time so its either only go once a week or go by myself. Its just a bad situation all the way around and I want to get out of there/away as quickly as possible. One of the other boarders keeps spreading rumors and lies about me as it is. I have done nothing but bend over backwards to make sure this property is safe for all of the horses especially when the other boarders horses got mange and they wouldnt call the boarders to let them know.
Should I report him now or wait until my horses are safe?
Should I use it to get full ownership of this horse? (threatening is really my think but I've been told to already)
Do I just take him to court?

~Set Your Heart Free on the Wings of a Horse~
Mr. Sunshine
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post #2 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 06:55 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ontario
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I don't get it. The guy sexually harrasses you yet you make up excuses not to charge him. He won't do anything to your horses as he'll be in deeper manure if he does. This guy needs your bf to have a little "chat".
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post #3 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 07:11 PM
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Your parents know about this, and do nothing? My goodness gracious. Stop working with his horse, if he gives you the horse, he expects something in return and he has made it clear what he wants. There is no reason in the world for him to let you train his horse and "give" it to you, give your head a shake. Keep your distance from him and find another place to keep your horses. Unbelievable!
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post #4 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 07:20 PM
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I would of dotted his eyes and boxed his ears. And I promise if my dad knew of it they would be looking for body parts. You need to get out now regardless of whether you like the mare or not, bad situation that's fixin to get worse.
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post #5 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 07:45 PM Thread Starter
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He said he'd take money for her so maybe once my fiance gets back we'l go buy her if we can. Shes just so far along I'd hate to stop now. I'm the only one she'l let lead her in without putting up a fuss and she actually went after the lady boarder thats trying to start stuff with me because the lady tried to snatch the lead from my hands. I am looking for a place hopefully I can get them out asap.

When it first started it was more joking but I guess now Im going to have to keep my knife on me whenever Im out there just in case.

~Set Your Heart Free on the Wings of a Horse~
Mr. Sunshine
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post #6 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 08:16 PM
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You've been told what to do. You've decided to ignore it and place some horse above your safety.

Good luck.
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post #7 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 08:26 PM
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Really? You're more patient than me. Christ, if some skeazy guy reached out to "play with the zipper of my jeans" like that or got close enough to "reach down my shirt," he'd have a knee or foot to the balls within seconds. And he would probably be speaking to the police. And my horses would have been out of there like yesterday.
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post #8 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 08:32 PM
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You can't ask for or expect a training fee after you've already worked the horse for free. You need to buy it or not.

You can't press charges for a guy hitting on you. Every time you let him fiddle with your zipper or other parts you are only encouraging him. I'm assuming you are an adult? The next time he bothers you ignore the verbal & if he makes physical contact-make some a not so nice way so he'll know without a doubt you're not interested. I wouldn't think stabbing him would be such a good idea though.

You also need to move out of there.

I used to board with a perverted BO. Once on a trail ride he had me hold his horse while he relieved himself in the woods. When he was through with that business he exposed his junk as he was walking back to get his horse. He ended up having a nice long walk home. He got the message.

Last edited by natisha; 05-01-2012 at 08:37 PM.
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post #9 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 08:47 PM
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This sort of thing gets my angry feminist side of really wound up. While the guy is definitely a masogynist pig, it's up to you to show self-respect and not let him get away with that crap. Do whatever you have to do to establish that this is just not on. I play Irish traditional music in pubs, many of which have a high proportion of sleazy men about, and I have never once been groped nor had to threaten anyone with castration due to perfecting the art of giving off hostile, pissed off vibes and body language towards anyone who looks sketchy. I recommend working on this.

You don't only need to establish firm boundaries with horses.
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post #10 of 60 Old 05-01-2012, 08:50 PM Thread Starter
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Before I started training ANY horses he had said that he would pay me. So I am not asking after the fact.
I did knock his hand away when he reached out and if he tries again I will not be so nice.
As for the knife I wouldnt stab him but it usually makes them think twice before acting. However if he does still keep up I wont tolerate it.

mildot - it is not that I am choosing to ignore it but I cant NOT go there while my horses are still there. I can leave without the mare but my stud and gelding I refuse to. If it happens again I will be calling the cops.

~Set Your Heart Free on the Wings of a Horse~
Mr. Sunshine
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