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Being Solicited for board

This is a discussion on Being Solicited for board within the Horse Boarding forums, part of the Barns, Boarding, and Farms category
  • former boarder issues horse forum
  • Unwanted sexual advances from much older men

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    05-11-2012, 08:54 AM
  #51
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by aspin231    
I became the 'black sheep' in my family for speaking up about unwanted sexual advances of a 'creepy old man,' and though he was a well-respected member of the community, after I said something (which took a lot of courage to do), there were quite a few others who came out of the woodwork about the same thing, same person.
Who knows how many times he has done this to other people and gotten away with it due to the controlling circumstances? SAY SOMETHING. Tell the authorities.
He had NO RIGHT to touch you without consent- don't let him get away with it. You are NOT to blame here, as some have suggested- it was HIS responsibility to conduct himself properly.
Now that you know what he's like, please report it. At the very least, the authorities will have a chat with him, and he'll know there's a record for it- hopefully that deters him.
Find somewhere else for your horses. I also like the suggestion of a third-party 'interested' in the mare, before you leave.
Please protect yourself. And don't tolerate this, ever.
GOOD FOR YOU!! Silence is the perves best friend. They know most people are afraid of the hoopla it cause to speak out, and they use it to their advantage.
     
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    05-11-2012, 01:43 PM
  #52
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rascaholic    
Silence is the perves best friend. They know most people are afraid of the hoopla it cause to speak out, and they use it to their advantage.
This.
Also, that's why I did it. Yes, I was shunned for awhile. It was worth it.
     
    05-11-2012, 10:06 PM
  #53
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by Casey02    
Well this makes no since to me..... you say she doesnt have a mean bone in her body, but will bite, pin her ears and do everything bad to ANY one but you. Hmmm

How on Gods green earth are you still there?
If any nasty old guy EVER did that to me, I would have rented a trailer the same day loaded up more horses and left, even if I had to keep them in my garage! If you are so attached to this mare buy her and get out. Bottom line is you are still giving him business and a reason to beable to touch you. I hate to be mean but this is unbelievable... when I read the start of this thread I was sick to my stomach. Get your horses out. Pay for the mare. Report and and leave. In the mean time bring a guy out there with you (and one who looks like he can do damage)

Good luck!
YOur right I did phrase all of that wrong. He shows that she doesnt like them she has never actually bitten anyone but she will bite the lead and bulk. With me her head is low and she is walking dirrectly at my back with anyone she will lifter her head so they can't halter her, pin her ears (which isnt all the way against her neck but a lot farther back then she has ever gotten with me except when I first reintroduced the lunge whip, and pull away from them. She never kicks strikes out rears or rushes anyone even if she doesnt like them. I am however, as the main point was trying to get across, am the one she sees as her 'momma' for lack of a better term.

I am working on getting them out but I have no network here because we only moved back a few years ago and I have spent most of my time traveling elsewhere. I am getting in touch with some people and there is a place not to far from town that has an apartment and a horse shelter but I am waiting to hear back from them about the property details because once I leave 3 other people will as well and two of them want to be able to keep their horses with mine.

I'l keep everyone updated and yes I am being as safe as I can.
     
    05-11-2012, 10:54 PM
  #54
Foal
So you are training a horse & not getting paid for it and you want him to give you the horse? That doesn't make sense. If you don't have a contract you will not get paid ever!! I would stop training the horse and leave ASAP. Have someone else buy the horse for you if you really want the horse.
     
    05-12-2012, 11:52 PM
  #55
Foal
I still wanna punch his teeth in.....
     
    05-13-2012, 12:01 AM
  #56
Showing
Quote:
Originally Posted by Medh    
I still wanna punch his teeth in.....
See I was wondering if you two were sisters/knew each other.. was just about to ask actually.

Teeth punching would just make your knuckles bleed and probably not do too much damage.. and possibly get you into a lot of trouble. Steel toed boots work much better.

Or getting a man to stick up for her.

But seriously, what is your sister doing thinking she can handle this on her own? That's just what the dude wants her to do. Not bring in any help. We're not calling her weak or think any less of her for needing some help. She seems like a strong independent smart lady but that alone won't keep her safe! There are some freaky people out there that nothing but a good strong man with a threat to kick some major ass will protect you from it!

Tomb raider isn't real life.
ArabGirl likes this.
     
    05-14-2012, 05:57 PM
  #57
Foal
She doesnt go out there alone naymore if there is anyone else out there he leaves her alone. A little blood wont hurt :) I'd much rather punch him int he face then have no one else believe her
     
    05-22-2012, 07:02 PM
  #58
Yearling
....how do you train your horse to protect you? Curious... :).
Yeah forget about the mare unless you can have someone buy her for you. Your life/dignity/virtue is not worth the mare. That's some bs. Get out. ASAP. My parents and husband would have all been out there beating sense into him by now if that were me. Blows my mind that you're still there. Get them out. Surely there's another barn in your area? Be safe! Don't go out there alone you never know. Old men can be strong. They have good days when they take their meds (haha)!
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    05-24-2012, 07:54 PM
  #59
Weanling
Ok, so... you have a fiance so I'm assuming you're a grown woman right? But... you want to tell your parents? This just doesn't make much sense. Here's what you do: change barns. Simple as that. If you leave, he's not going to follow you. Crazy, right?
If you're underage and saying 'fiance' because you think it's cooler than 'boyfriend', then tell your parents and then switch barns. There really are other barns out there, believe me.
And I have another idea: avoid the pervert. What a notion! Don't intentionally go by him! If you know he's a creeper, avoid him.
     
    05-27-2012, 03:23 AM
  #60
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by rascalboy    
Ok, so... you have a fiance so I'm assuming you're a grown woman right? But... you want to tell your parents? This just doesn't make much sense. Here's what you do: change barns. Simple as that. If you leave, he's not going to follow you. Crazy, right?
If you're underage and saying 'fiance' because you think it's cooler than 'boyfriend', then tell your parents and then switch barns. There really are other barns out there, believe me.
And I have another idea: avoid the pervert. What a notion! Don't intentionally go by him! If you know he's a creeper, avoid him.
I am engaged to a marine, yes I am a grown woman. Just because I am a grown woman doesn't mean I am shallow enough to not let my family know whats going on, I'm smart enough to know I shouldn't try to handle this on my own. The more people who know and keep an eye out the less he said she said it'l be when I do get out and report him.

Right now I am borrowing my family's cars and renting an apartment from them as it is cheap and we (my fiance and I) are trying to save as much as possible while he is in basic so that we can get the both of us moved once he has his orders.

You obviously don't get that there really aren't barns around here. We live in the middle of ranch country most people have enough to worry about with their horses and cattle to worry about putting up someone else horses. I am looking for another place but at the moment it is either going to be giving up the partial lease and taking them with me or buying a property and spending a small fortune to fly up every couple of months and manage it while I pay someone else to look after my horses that are basically rescues to start with.

I am not idly putting up with it I have 'band together' with two of the other boarders that have had issues with the guy. They are backing me for whatever may happen when we leave. We are also taking pictures of the property because NONE of the horses have been given tetanus shots and the property is kept in such poor conditions Im surprised they haven't been reported before.
     

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