Joe, you're absolutely right. My husband always tells me, "just humor her."
Alright, there were a few other things I didn't mention; My horse's tail was banged with out asking me and he was vaccinated with out telling me. Now, I know he needs his shots, but is it normal for people just to go do things to your horse without telling you or asking you?
It depends on your original agreement. I keep my horse in a similar situation. The property owner is a horse trainer/seller but it is not his sole income. He is not a boarding facility. The only horses are his private horses, the horses he is working with and training, and those that are for resale. It is myself and 1 other person who keeps a horse on a monthly basis for board.
The expectation in my board is that he will provide wormings and ticking. He also keeps an eye on my horse for overall health, but now that Sam is in the pasture, it is a distant eye. He will also provide shots, which I reimburse him for and if the farrier is coming out and it is time will include Sam in the appointment. I pay for shoes.
He does not have
to tell me first if he is going to vaccinate, worm, or detick Sam. I told him in the beginning to just include my horse in his routine and let me know the expenses. I showed up on Sunday and he deticked all the horses and Sam was included. I am at the barn often enough that I am aware when the farrier is coming and will identify if I want Sam included or not.
On one hand, it is good that you have someone who is paying attention to your horse in your absence. She may be very worried that you will think she is not doing her job so she comes over the top.
Does she expect you to self-care for your horse? That may be the other reason she is contacting you. She may be happy to board your horse, but if you are absent she feels that the horse is being neglected and uncared for.