Changing barns causes bunched panties - Page 2

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Changing barns causes bunched panties

This is a discussion on Changing barns causes bunched panties within the Horse Boarding forums, part of the Barns, Boarding, and Farms category
  • Changing pantey
  • Horses panties

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    01-23-2012, 02:33 AM
Green Broke
First of all this is a business relationship. Stop acting like you have to justify anything. Don't argue don't do anything. What does your lease say. Probably that you have to give notice. That is it. "I am moving" you should never have even gotten into a discussion of why. I am moving, period end of discussion. The whys totally don't matter, You could be moving because you don't like the color of the barn. It doesnt matter, your horse, your money. Stop worrying about what they think, or having to justfy anything.
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    01-23-2012, 02:48 AM
Oh I don't give a crap about what they think. I'm moving my horses and I made that very clear.
The point is I'm tired of hearing the SH%t she's trying to pull, justifying things or not. It's not safe for horses. She apparently doesn't understand that. Now my personal thoughts are worries on Lestat. If the vet says he's absolutely unable to be safely hauled to a new location at this time then what's going to happen to him while he stays at the current place until he's sound to move. I gave notice. I said I'm moving my girls Tuesday and Lestat as well if the vet says he can.
Either way whether I explained my reason to leave or not just giving notice as I have in turn receives a cold shoulder and her blubbering back and forth on why she doesn't want to loose a border and this and that. It's unavoidable unless I jumped in my car the second she opens her mouth and just leave and then don't come back until the day I move them which with my nerves, I need to be there to check on my horses knowing the wall of the arena could now come down into their pasture! Believe me I tried to change the conversation, I tried to walk away and mess with my little boy, I interrupted and asked if she needed help with stalls. Instead of going along and talking about something different she was relentless on why I shouldn't leave. I'm tired of it. So originally I was leaving the 5th of next month, now I'm leaving on Tuesday. It's immature and inappropriate. I don't want to hear it from her. It makes the whole situation worse.
The other point I don't get is how she could possibly think her nasty attitude towards this would even remotely change my mind and make me want to stay! It's not even bully talk, it's more like a 5 year old throwing a verbal tantrum because she didn't get her lollipop at the mall.
    01-23-2012, 03:30 AM
She might not even be thinking about changing your mind. She might just figure that you are leaving regardless so why bother being nice? Especially if she sees what you are doing as a sort of "abandonment"...

It sounds as if she just doesn't have a lot of people skills. It also sounds as if she needs to work on developing better methods of coping with stress.

You said you are leaving Tuesday...did you ever hear back from the vet about how long for your injured furkid to be able to be moved?
    01-23-2012, 03:49 AM
I'll be seeing or at least talking to the vet tomorrow. He's supposed to be coming out to give him a laser treatment. Today he was prancey and mobile so I'm hoping the vet has good news.
Here's what I think about my trainer based on what she's told me and what I've witnessed. Outside of horses ever since she was a kid she did nothing. It was school and then back to the barn. Her PE credits were riding and teaching lessons through high school. Outside of horses and showing she had no social life except for the once at the barn with her boarders and students. When the barn was given to her it was under her control however her family still owns the property. Out of the three barns on the property this one is hers and her "baby" so to speak. Still well into her adult life there is no social life outside of the barn and shows. She doesn't have control over much else so she tries to take control over what she has I.e the barn, horse in training, lessons...
When she starts to loose that control she can't cope well and because of her lack of social skills she does whatever she can to get rid of stress. So when someone goes out to do something away from her, someone she's become attached to she gets upset. I honestly don't think she understands how she comes off to other people. She doesn't have control over much so she tries to control everything and when it turns out she can't it bothers her more than it should.
    01-23-2012, 06:09 AM
That's a bummer. Hopefully the vet will give you the okay to move your colt sooner rather than later.

I've always felt that it was time to move barns whenever you started to feel like you needed to be your horse's advocate to the barn owner instead of feeling like you and the barn owner were on the same side in terms of the horse's care. Not a good feeling, when you have concerns about your horse's care and feel you need to be at loggerheads with the BO over various issues.
    01-23-2012, 07:17 AM
I'll be brutally honest.

I don't understand why people let a service provider treat them that way.

I wouldn't put up with this crap for more than it would take me to find a different barn, certainly not a year or more.
My trainer is incredibly difficult to describe but I will do the best I can. There's threads buried on here about frustrations I've previously had and taken care of with her. For the last year I've had no issues which was great until now. She's incredibly immature when faced with a decision or situation she has no control over. She throws silent treatments, talks sH&t, rants, mumbles grumbles, and then gets headaches and blames everything on something or somebody else.
I also do not understand why these situations are so full of drama.

If I were in your shoes I would not engage this "trainer" in any discussions about why you are leaving. It is none of her business. Whether she agrees with your assesment of the barn's physical condition or not is completely irrelevant.
themacpack and loveduffy like this.
    01-23-2012, 07:29 AM
Originally Posted by mildot    
I'll be brutally honest.

I don't understand why people let a service provider treat them that way.

I wouldn't put up with this crap for more than it would take me to find a different barn, certainly not a year or more.

I also do not understand why these situations are so full of drama.

If I were in your shoes I would not engage this "trainer" in any discussions about why you are leaving. It is none of her business. Whether she agrees with your assesment of the barn's physical condition or not is completely irrelevant.
While I tend to agree, remember, the OP has one horse who may not be able to move right now. So, I can certainly understand why she is placating her at the moment. I am not really sure why wait until Tuesday, but there must be a really good reason. I also understand that over time, regardless of the trainers attitude, you develop a relationship with people. Perhaps she is difficult, but she does have some knowledge that the OP can use, which makes it a little tough to totally blow her off until a new trainer can be found. We all know that many trainers can be "difficult" at times, and we have to blow it off to achieve the greater goal. I certainly would never do anything but try to appease someone who is responsible for my horses-even for a couple more days. After we are gone-anything goes, and yeah-a good B!t@# slap is in order, IMO.
    01-23-2012, 11:32 AM
Super Moderator
I agree with both franknbeans and mildot, and it is a hard situation for you to be in.
So, did the cookies turn out to be tasty? Any left?
Hope the vet visit goes well!
    01-23-2012, 11:58 AM
Originally Posted by waresbear    
*hand is out for freshed baked cookies..... too!!! Dang..what an ordeal!!!

I hope you get things sorted out very soon!!! There is absolutely no way you can move your colt sooner??? I would not want to leave him there with someone so uh...emotionally unstable...
    01-23-2012, 12:32 PM
Green Broke
That is a tough situation. Hope you can move Lestat sooner. How soon can the horses come home to be w/you?

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