Delicate situation, need advice please - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 12 Old 04-21-2014, 07:58 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 171
• Horses: 0
Delicate situation, need advice please

Hi, I'll try to keep it simple, I'm very torn about what I should do though I think in my gut I know.

I am the only boarder at the barn I'm at. The other horses are the owners. The barn does not have everything I would want but it has the type of stall I wanted, a really nice board owner and a ring that was a requirement that I had to have. I supply my own grain, shavings and do my own mucking as well as keeping barn clean. I have a young horse that I need to work in ring. I am always there in mornings until lunch time. Barn owner rides in afternoon so I am out of her way.

Here's the situation. She has an elderly horse and she keeps his gate open into the ring. When I get there he is always in ring and stays there until just about lunchtime. All the horses get fed then and they all know when! He is a wonderful tough old guy and I like him very much. There is no way to get him to move and leave ring if he doesn't want to LOL, he didn't get to his age without being determined. So I really can't use the ring when I'm there so I can't ride. I'm at a crossroads, I want to accomodate her horse as much as possible but I really need to consistently ride mine and it hasn't been happening. She is aware of when I come and is around but makes no effort to bring him in or just keep him out of ring until after I have ridden and then he could be in there all day.

So I feel very awkward and unsure what to do. It's her barn and she has every right to do whatever she wants, but I need to be able to ride. Would it probably be for the best if I just looked for another barn at this point? Is there any point in talking to her about it or would it cause hard feelings like I'm picking on her horse? And how should I approach the conversation? I really try to be understanding about different situations but the one thing I needed to have in a barn I'm unable to use now. Advice would be appreciated, I feel bad about this because I really like the other horse and her.
Sunnylucy is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 12 Old 04-21-2014, 08:04 PM
Teen Forum Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: South East Texas
Posts: 7,157
• Horses: 2
You're paying to use the ring with your board, so it isn't too much to ask that the horse not be in arena. Ask her, she'll probably understand! You could even offer to move him yourself, and let him back in as soon as you're done. You could say something like "hey, do you mind if I lead ____ out of the arena and close him into his pen/tie him for (blank amount of time) in the mornings? I just really don't want him to accidentally get hurt when I'm riding in there! I can put him right back as soon as I am finished riding!"

Everyone in your life is meant to
be in your journey, but not all of
them are meant to stay till the end.
Endiku is offline  
post #3 of 12 Old 04-21-2014, 08:31 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Just south of sanity
Posts: 16,387
• Horses: 3
Talk to her. That's the easiest thing to do, instead of silently fuming and planning a move.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
Speed Racer is offline  
post #4 of 12 Old 04-21-2014, 08:40 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: OK
Posts: 10,583
• Horses: 12
I would simply go halter the horse and put him in his stall while I rode. When I was done, I'd put him back in the arena. Give him a treat or something, if he's that old he deserves to be spoiled. If you don't feel you can do that, then talk to the barn owner. She's probably just thinking you'll either put him away or just ride around him. If he's that passive, I might just go ahead and ride, but that's me.

Dreamcatcher Arabians is offline  
post #5 of 12 Old 04-21-2014, 08:53 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 171
• Horses: 0
I'm not fuming, just want to resolve one way or other. Rule is no two horses in ring at same time so I can't ride with him in there. I have told her when I arrived one day that I want to ride in ring but he's in there and she just tells me he'll come out soon and that's that. I was hoping that she would move him but she didn't. I'll have to ask if it would be okay to halter and lead him out, without halter and lead he will not move! Seriously, he is still tough, strong and determined. People get kind of defensive when it sounds like you're complaining about their horse I've found. And it really isn't his problem, how the heck would he know that I want to use ring, but that is why I wasn't sure how to approach a discussion.
Sunnylucy is offline  
post #6 of 12 Old 04-21-2014, 09:18 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 4,355
• Horses: 2
It sounds like you are already considering leaving from your first post, so what would it hurt to talk to her about it seriously? If she gets mad/offended, leave. If not, then your problem is solved and you can stay with a clear head. If you are paying to use it, then you should by all rights be able to remove him. I would understand your dilema if she was doing you a free favor by allowing you to keep your horse there, but it's (from my understanding) not a charity situation where you better just be happy with what you get.
Honestly, talk with her or just go in when you get there, throw a rope around his neck and lead him out without question. So long as you're not mean to him when you're removing him, i dont see why she should get upset.
Sunnylucy and Chasin Ponies like this.

"If a horse fails to do something that is because he was not trained to do it. If a horse fails to do something properly that is because he was not trained properly."
lilruffian is offline  
post #7 of 12 Old 04-22-2014, 09:57 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 2,532
• Horses: 0
The adult thing to do is just speak to the horses owner and your barn owner,... in this case one and the same person yes?.

Is it possible the owner just didn't realize what you are dealing with...she is use to having her horses on her property not having a boarder and someone else also riding and being around.
I bet it is resolved real fast with no muss, no fuss...

IF there is a comment or any negativity to wanting to put her horse in another location while you ride to safeguard her horses safety...then look to move out so you can ride as you need in a facility as you need.

I would not just touch that horse and move him somewhere else till you speak to the owner...he is not yours and you may not have permission to handle him even with the best intentions in ask first.


horselovinguy is online now  
post #8 of 12 Old 04-22-2014, 02:04 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 171
• Horses: 0
I agree, I would never handle someone elses horse without asking (except for an emergency). I talked to her today, she feels that he will come in on his own when he is ready and I should just wait on that time. So there it is. He is a magnificent horse, and such a love, just set in his ways, I'll have to figure out a way to get there earlier and maybe time it before he goes out there. Thanks for everyone's advice.
Sunnylucy is offline  
post #9 of 12 Old 04-23-2014, 10:14 AM
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 993
• Horses: 2
Seriously, that is the most unreasonable thing I have ever heard of. At my barn if there are horses turned out in the pen and I want to ride, I tie the loose horses to the posts and ride.
Maybe give the horse some incentive to leave. Throw a flake of hay in the other area or something?
Good luck
Skipsfirstspike is offline  
post #10 of 12 Old 04-23-2014, 10:30 AM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,224
• Horses: 0
Originally Posted by Skipsfirstspike View Post
Seriously, that is the most unreasonable thing I have ever heard of. At my barn if there are horses turned out in the pen and I want to ride, I tie the loose horses to the posts and ride.
Maybe give the horse some incentive to leave. Throw a flake of hay in the other area or something?
Good luck
Great idea! A flake of hay may not be tasty enough though, so maybe rattle a small amount of nuts in a bucket. Just a tiny amount.
BossHoss likes this.
CandyCanes is offline  

board , move on , problems , riding , ring

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Advice on a delicate situation, please. LizzieE Horse Talk 40 07-26-2012 07:40 PM
need advice for my situation Eddie Horse Talk 11 05-12-2012 10:31 AM
Advice on this situation hiwaythreetwenty Eventing 5 04-24-2011 10:01 AM
How to handle a delicate situation? Indyhorse General Off Topic Discussion 9 05-22-2010 07:18 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome