How do you progress when you're shunned? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 19 Old 02-20-2014, 08:24 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Minnesota
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I agree with some others that have posted. If you want a trainer to help you in any way, even just through a friendly educational question and answer session, be prepared to pay for their time and don't get angry over her lack of interest in you or your "goals" when you expect expert advice for free.

I also agree with others in that you have not given us enough info to properly judge the situation.

One of the other things you mentioned is that you've had this "goal" since 1976. Personally it seems as though you may be a person who likes to talk the talk but when it gets to be time to actually DO something to reach said goal, you don't follow through. I can see how a trainer could easily see that quality in a person and then basically lack the time of day to even care. JMO.

Good luck.

Hakuna Matata!
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post #12 of 19 Old 02-20-2014, 08:51 AM
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How is this trainer shunning you?

You are not her client. You are not paying her. Why should she give you advice, help or support? You're not paying her to. Is she not chit chatting with you much or something? Remember that the barn is her workplace and you're not her customer.

She might have made the comment about not needing to show because a lot of people feel bad about not showing when they don't have the money to.

Sometimes people do thoughtless things - even to friends. She might not have thought whatever she did was a big deal. She will never know unless you speak up when it happens.
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post #13 of 19 Old 02-20-2014, 09:54 AM
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Based on the little info you have given, I'm going to say....move when you can. With what you have said, BNT, National Champ, TT, I'm going to guess you have an Arab in Walker country. Arabians are the most expensive horse I've ever shown. The trainers cost twice as much as other trainers and tend to get 'over horsed' by having too many horses to train in their barns.

If you aren't paying for training, you cannot expect to get the time of day from this trainer. He or she just plain doesn't have the time for you if you're not paying, it isn't fair to his or her other customers to give you a bunch of time when they are paying. Yes, you bought a horse from that barn and keep the horse there, but unless your questions are about the stalling and feeding, you have nothing coming from that trainer.

If you can't afford to train, I promise you you can't afford to show. I can show 3 horses at Pinto World Champs for what it costs to show 1 at Arabian US Nationals. So, if you want to show, you need to find a trainer you can afford or find a way to afford this trainer. Then you can save up the money to get to shows, once you have some training.
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post #14 of 19 Old 02-20-2014, 10:36 AM
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Location: CT USA an English transplant
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Obvious solution is to find somewhere else to keep your horse
One thing does occur to me - if your horse has a totally different discipline to everyone else is it just possible that the trainer has no knowledge of that and so can't give you any worthwhile training?
That would be comparable to someone asking me to give them lessons in WP or reining - I'd be clueless
Very few trainers - even top ones will turn down money but they wont pretend to be able to teach a discipline they aren't experienced in
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post #15 of 19 Old 02-21-2014, 11:32 AM Thread Starter
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I'm not going to return to this thread, as so many of the comments are so far off base as to be unworthy of any comment. For starters, the trainer and I used to be friends; she seemed to respect what I had to say--which I was very honored by.

There are many people who do not have their horses in full-time training who do very well at shows. Insofar as me being someone who simply likes to talk about what I want to do but never follows through, well, life doesn't always allow me to do what I want. Perhaps some of you can have such experiences--perhaps you could develop a bit of sensitivity for other people.

And if my post ends up getting me banned--well, I'd say it'd be a dead loss!
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post #16 of 19 Old 02-28-2014, 05:05 PM
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Location: Spring Hill Florida
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There may be too little info to guess why she is behaving this way. You must think it has something with not training with her.

I was at a barn for 4 years, best family run in the area, about 75 horses. The trainer was the owner's daughter. A friend there asked me for advice and since then this trainer shunned me and told me I didn't know anything.. I moved. I wasn't going to pay good money at a place where trainer ran it and belittled me. And I didn't want the parents/owners to get caught it.

One thing I remember using in the past with good result is confronting the jerks saying "Have I upset you in some way? You make me feel like
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post #17 of 19 Old 02-28-2014, 05:34 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: East Central Illinois
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OP, I'm sorry that you see the good pieces of advice here as critical, when I thought they were helpful. Before I owned a trailer I paid to have horses delivered to me. When I bought a local gelding in 1985 I paid someone at the stable to collect and deliver for me, while I drove behind.
Not hard. Not expensive.
We don't mind rants here, but to insult us before you get to know us isn't the best way to make friends.

A Jack and Three Queens, the latest book by James C. Dedman,
Hope that you fall in love with "Trot", like I did!
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post #18 of 19 Old 03-01-2014, 07:53 PM
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You can read posts but you can't hear intonation, which can completely change the intent of what one posts.

I always give the benefit of the doubt unless something is real blatently mean.
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post #19 of 19 Old 03-01-2014, 08:21 PM
Join Date: Jan 2014
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I sorry that you going through that drama with that trainer. so many horse people turn into snobs who feel they are too good for people. you didn't give much information to your post to what is actually going on and what exactly is happening at the barn, so it is difficult to really give specific advice with that trainer, if we don't know what is going on. but I think you should try your best to find a different place to keep your girl. it is most important to go enjoy yourself with your horse. you should definitely go to shows if you want! go for it! you do not need a trainer in order to do so. maybe you wont win the championships or extremely high level of showing, but it IS possible! and maybe later on you will decide on getting a different trainer that you get along with better. once I get a trailer (which is probably soon! yay) I plan to start showing my boy... and I haven't had a trainer in years. but who cares? eventually I will find myself a trainer when I want to get one. so go for it. and do what makes you and your horse happy. no need for stress. any chance you could share the breed of your horse and what discipline you wanting to do? I just curious at who are so hard headed, judgmental, and ignorant to be against a certain breed. makes no sense to me. wish you best of luck!
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