How do you tell someone to not touch your horse? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 27 Old 11-13-2013, 11:59 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Missoula, Montana
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How do you tell someone to not touch your horse?

My horse is a biter. We're working on it and he was getting really good until he got put on stall rest for 5 months. I'm not ignoring the issue but I have asked people (and put a note on his stall) to please not touch him unless I'm there (with the exception of certain people I trust to handle him correctly). Mostly people stay away from him and everything is fine. I spend a lot of time with him so he's not lonely.

One girl refuses to leave him alone. She thinks she can "fix" him by gently slapping his nose when he nips which he joyfully responds to with another more assertive nip. They will continue this until he's biting her jacket and pulling on her. I do not like my horse nipping, lipping or putting his open mouth anywhere near a person. Hes extremely playful and he doesn't necessarily bite to be mean (he has though) but I don't want him to bite At All. Ever. And I've showed her how I'd like her to respond to his biting and she refuses. So I've told her to please not mess with him;I have everything under control and don't need her help. However since she's a "trainer" clearly she knows what to do and she continues to mess with him despite my asking her not to.
After all that, my question is: what else can I do or say to get her to leave him alone? I don't like my horse learning he can bite anyone; I believe it's an extremely bad habit to let a horse play using his teeth. I also don't want to burn bridges at my barn. I've been in enough barn drama that I have learned being blunt with people doesn't always work well. Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do or do I need to just say what needs to be said and deal with whatever happens? I don't know how much longer he'll be on stall rest but it'll be a little while yet...
Thank you!
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post #2 of 27 Old 11-14-2013, 12:20 AM
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"Do not touch my horse anymore. I have a certain way that I want him handled and trained, and you're just aggravating his biting problem."

Id be very blunt about it. She'll probably get miffed, but bluntness sounds like the only option if you've talked to her before.
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post #3 of 27 Old 11-14-2013, 12:30 AM
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Ask her to have a coffee and a chat with you - go where there is no one listening.

"I need to talk - I know that you are trying to help - but I must ask you to stop. Your ways may work for you, but I ask you to respect me, and stop ANY interaction with my horse.

I don't want us to fall out about this, I want to continue to enjoy your friendship, and for us to have mutual respect.

Do you understand?

No, I don't want to discuss why, because this isn't up for discussion. Just please respect my request.


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post #4 of 27 Old 11-14-2013, 12:32 AM
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I think it's past time to go to your BO/BM about this. Someone that this girl respects and will listen to obviously needs to get involved since she obviously doesn't respect you enough to respect your wishes.
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post #5 of 27 Old 11-14-2013, 12:33 AM
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Just say it. A girl like this who thinks she is doing well won't get the picture unless you flat out tell her to stay away from your horse. Say that you don't have a problem with her, but that his problem has gotten worse since she has been messing with him. Make sure that she is well aware that the No Touching sign applies to ALL that have not been given special permission.
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post #6 of 27 Old 11-14-2013, 12:51 AM
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Honestly, drama aside..."Don't touch my horse anymore. Ever."

Talk to the BO, state your concerns that she is making the behavior WORSE and mention that you are afraid of your AND THE BARN being liable for any injuries that she incurs.

Originally Posted by Jareth, the Goblin King
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post #7 of 27 Old 11-14-2013, 01:41 AM
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Just state that you dont think striking a horse on the face lightly or otherwise is an adequate way to improve aggressive/rough behaviour ( not suggesting hes purposely acting with any malice).
Also perhaps ask her if she was to do or say something someone didnt like (say perhaps disciplining someone elses horse haha!) then someone came along smacked her on the nose how would she respond? Not in a friendly way i would presume, Probably more likely to be defensive.(Maybe bite harder derr!!)
i dont understand people trying to trump rough behaviour with more rough behaviour, two negatives certainly dont result in a positive in this situation.

Goodluck with this, it must be very frustrating for you!!
BE extra firm!! stand your ground you know what best for you and your horse!!

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post #8 of 27 Old 11-14-2013, 01:44 AM
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As an afterthought though....

IF all else fails perhaps try lightly smaking her nose everytime she dosnt listen HAHA!

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post #9 of 27 Old 11-14-2013, 05:35 AM
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It sounds like you've already gone the "Ask Nicely" route, so now I agree that it's time for the "Say Bluntly" method.

Yes, she'll probably get pissed. If you do it in front of others (I would, so there are witnesses), she'll probably be embarassed as well. But, ultimately, your problem will likely be solved.

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post #10 of 27 Old 11-14-2013, 06:02 AM
Green Broke
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Some good suggestions given already...

Me, I am not always the most tactful...blunt is how it is going to come out.

"Look, he is my horse not yours. He has a issue that I am addressing and it was improving. Now that you have started "training" he has regressed. I am concerned for your safety and everyone else. So,...just leave him alone and Don't Touch MY Horse from now on. Thank-you."
Then leave it alone and walk away...

This person may be the "trainer" but this is a privately owned horse and you have not contracted with her to "train" hands off!!

And yes, I would alert the BO and BM of your conversation.

would be hesitant to say the word "lawsuit or liable" as you might then be told to vacate the facility...a vicious horse you know {even if he isn't but is being provoked!}

Last edited by horselovinguy; 11-14-2013 at 06:05 AM.
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