I might have a problem.... - Page 2

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I might have a problem....

This is a discussion on I might have a problem.... within the Horse Boarding forums, part of the Barns, Boarding, and Farms category

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    11-15-2013, 06:29 PM
Somehow I don't think this is the end of it. He'll just get more careful. Some guy was banging on my door after the bar closed. I recognized his voice thro the door so I asked him for his phone number so I could call his wife that she'd probably be quite interested in knowing where he is. He left, never to return.
Corporal likes this.
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    11-15-2013, 07:33 PM
Honestly, you sounded a bit over sensitive to me. In my opinion, it just sounded like he was stoked to have a riding buddy.

The gifts may have been a bit over the top, but that's an easy fix.
Sounds like everything is taken care of, either way <3
    11-16-2013, 12:13 AM
BTW, returning the gifts might be your best bet. That will reinforce what you have told him.
Corporal and dbarabians like this.
    11-16-2013, 12:54 AM
If he is constantly vying for your attention then this is not a healthy situation.
Return all his gifts and refuse any more of them.
He is the barn owner and the two of you have a business relationship. That is all it needs to be. If the wife and other boarders were included then I would spend time with all of them in a group.
You are being pursued and in a subtle way sexually harrassed. I doubt he would spend so much time texting or money buying gifts for a male riding companion.
He has an ulterior motive I can assure you.
There is no excuse for a married man to act like this. His infatuation with you needs to end. Good luck. Shalom
    11-16-2013, 02:39 AM
All of this is just so awkward. I tried to "play" off his gifts by stating that appreciated the thoughtfulness of him buying them for me and when I asked what I owed him he wouldn't price anything. At this point I don't even know if he will accept board next month!!

I am a fairly direct person....but for everone out there judging. ....this isnt the easiest situation to handle.....:(

Funny how I viewed horses as just a total escape from just human insanity in general.....and now I realize stupidity exists even in a barn!! Lol
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    11-16-2013, 03:19 AM
OP I am not passing judgement on you.
People like the BO know how to manipulate others.
Protect yourself and your reputation. That is all you truly have control over.
You might be flattered by his attention. He is using that to get to you.
Your ego aside you are probably not the first young lady he has manipulated this way.
Be very careful in your dealings with this man.
My advice is coming from someone with a PHD in psychology.
You are aware something is not right or else you would not have posted about your concerns. Shalom
    11-16-2013, 07:43 AM
I have to agree with DB in that I think this situation is being taken far too lighting it is painfully obvious what this man is doing. He is already dating you in his mind. You have softened the situation a bit, but did nothing to end it.....so it continues.
You essentially told him to be more cautious in his actions and I'm sure he will......until enough time passes.
Why don't we simply say it instead of dancing around it. This is not normal. This is not healthy.
    11-16-2013, 08:42 AM
Well. Again...I appreciate everyones input. I don't want anything to get blown out of proportion. Like I stated in an earlier post....hopefully it is handled. Like DB stated...all I have control over is my actions. So I am going to continue to enjoy my horses and keep everything in perspective. Not going to make a mountain out of a molehill but not going to be naive either.
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    11-16-2013, 09:49 AM
I didn't mean to sound overly harsh, but it would appear that all the signs are there and that is why you are trying to create ways to avoid him.

It may possibly be harmless, but why take that chance, it's simply isn't worth it,plus it seems to be affecting your enjoyment of riding. The reason you are there.

I wish you the best.
    11-16-2013, 11:02 AM
I still don't see it... "Already dating her"? Where is everyone getting this? It sounds to me like someone is being overly friendly, and everyone is just reading it the wrong way.

Of course, I'm not there... This is just the impression that I'm getting from this thread.
cebee, Chardavej and MiniMom24 like this.

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