Thanks, I'm just frustrated.
NO HE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING ABUSIVE TO THE HORSES. I want to make that clear. In fact most of them are quite happy to see him, even when it's not feeding time. The person that he has doing some of the "full care" work can be a little course but not abusive or stressful. I think the most abusive thing I have every seen either of them do to a horse is to gruffly command it to go to it's run so they can clean their box stall, which in my opinion isn't abusive at all.
Blue, there are a few things I haven't mentioned, but no I don't think he means to do things to me personally, etc it just sort of ends up that way, or I feel that way when I don't get the same allowances that others are given and it's more than half the stable, not just a few people that do what they want and he just lets them. I just think that there are a LOT of double standards and as I say, he is quick to enforce rules with me, but not others. My husband and I have had several talks with him about it off and on all year and he always says he doesn't realize he is doing it. He makes promises that he will do things like posting rules, enforcing them on everyone, he's going to do this, he's going to do that.... but then slides right back. He never tells me "okay, you can too since everyone else is."
I think part of what I'm mad about is last year when I almost moved out, we had a long talk and gotten things worked out. My husband was there too. I don't know how it happened, and I'm ashamed of it now, but the BO asked me to help him by pointing out to him when someone didn't follow a rule so he could talk to them and enforce it as he was going to be in the barn a lot more. I know it ruffled a few feathers, and I eventually stopped because it wasn't helping the situation at all, and I ended up getting in a BIG fight with another boarder, because he had gotten frustrated with me telling BO on his daughter and then one day I stood up for myself when he was trying to bully me out of riding in the arena so he could turn his horses out. It was a huge blow up and he wouldn't believe me when I said riders take precedence over turnouts in the indoor arena and he called the BO, and things got a bit heated, and the BO was REALLY good friends with this person.... but I don't think he is anymore, he enforced the rule, but after that he stopped enforcing them again and letting people do what they want, except me.
If it's who I think it is... I had an issue with them earlier. I would sit outside the arena door waiting, if they didn't move their horses I would go over and talk to them explaining I only had so much time to ride and couldn't wait for their horses and most of the time they move them very quickly! But I did have a few times over the winter I got frustrated waiting, it seems he's gotten better.
I know this is his hobby. I know he has a full time job. I know he's tired, etc. I know he has issues with his ex and his own internal drama, I know he's human. But I'm tired of being frustrated by him not doing what he says he will do, and this thing about going behind my back with this horse SUCKS. The person even got mad at me because she wanted to keep it hush hush because she wants a good chance to try to sell her first and we both know that if she is thinking of "giving" the horse away, and it gets through the grapevine, she won't have any luck selling it or trying to recoup some of her loss with the horse. I don't even remember telling him what horse it was but maybe he heard me asking around the barn about the horse which I tried to make it sound as if I were buying her. So maybe my fault. But still, he had no reason to call her. But I have learned from actually overhearing him, our BO is can be quite a gossip tho he really tries to hide it.
Cinny.... don't spread this please as I've tried to keep my own issues with this girl private... but if you didn't tell the barn owner the actual horse owner the girl MAY be fibbing. Not saying she IS, but if you want to talk over private message, I've had some issues with honesty with her (NOT trying to bash her personally... I think she's a good rider/person, etc.)
That said I know the barn owner can be quite the gossip and likes to make himself sound as horsey as possible.. one time a girl was picking her horse's back hooves out normally and he came out and said, "I'd only do that if you want to get kicked in the head like Katie" MONTHS after my accident, where I was NOT picking hooves... -sigh-
Occasionally he likes to give me riding advise, which has not been too appreciated either haha. For some reason though I couldn't see him calling up a horse owner of a prospective horse you're looking at... I would HOPE that would be completely out of the question but who knows lately I've found out I may be more wrong than right.
I'm not sure if the girl is going to give me the horse now. It may be for the best, I don't know. I guess I was looking forward to the challenge of nursing it back to health, etc. and maybe having a better dressage horse next year. So I'm a little disappointed in that. I'm disappointed in the BO, and I'm disappointed in myself for trusting him not just in this matter, but in doing what he tells me he will do or not do. I guess I was already mad at him anyway because when I got back from my trip to CA I discovered that he hadn't followed my directions in mixing and giving Cinny his ulcer meds and I now have to start all over with them. And that makes me mad at myself for NOT asking one of my barn friends to do it, but I didn't want to burden any of them with the care of my sick horse. And (and Blue I'm not sure how to word this so please don't get offended), sometimes I wonder if the people I think are my friends at the barn, think of me as a friend.... because lately I get the feeling nobody wants me around. I'm just sort of off in the corners but not really part of the conversation. People make plans to go on trail, and I'm always DYING to go on trail, but I usually have to ask if I can go, or otherwise invite myself, but rarely actually get asked even if I'm right there when the plans are being made. And then it's like I'm some straggler along for the ride, and I feel like an intruder. Maybe it's my fault for concentrating so hard on working Cinny for Shaggy the last few months, I don't know. But it makes me feel very odd and awkward asking for help, such as someone medicating my horse while I'm gone.
I never mind helping out :) If I ever appear that way, it's because I'm crazy. Quite literally. I'm a scatter brain at the barn and am running everywhere talking to everyone- sometimes it feels like I have ADHD haha. I know I can appear rude when I don't mean to be. If you want to go on a trail today I'm going to try to do a long-ish one around 1! Supposed to be 77* and sunny
I think the thing with trail rides is a LOT of the time, we're at the barn and one person is going on a trail ride so we all hop on board to. It's very rarely planned, at least for me. I just decided to go on a trail ride this morning, and whenever I try to plan people to come nobody ever can so I just give up, lol. With my work schedule too, it makes it hard to coordinate. I saw your facebook post yesterday morning, but I have church on Sunday mornings it and it started really raining after that so I figured it wouldn't work if I offered.
I used to feel out of touch with the people at the barn too, but they all are really great people (minus the people in the back barn who are always yelling... but I'll admit I don't really know them too well).
I know it's one of the better stables in town, (the equestrian center is stress town, trust me I would choose that run down yet pretty one with the colonial barn over the equestrian center because it's less stress). There IS a subtle undercurrent of something not quite drama, but almost there for some of the boarders and I think that though the BO says he hates drams, he starts what little there is by his actions and double standards with the boarders, or more accurately his turning a blind eye to certain people.
I think I"m just frustrated and need a place to vent it out. I'm so tired of hearing "no" all the time when I want to do what other boarders do just because I'm the one respectful enough to ask first. Moving Cinny now, and then taking him to a show, then moving him again in a couple month is out of the question I think. HE is not the one under stress, but moving him around so much would be stressful and I'm trying to heal ulcers not cause new ones. I am even having doubts about taking him to the Cornhusker Classic Schooling show. But thank you all for your advice.
Are you talking about the one by the park with a two letter name? I know the barn manager of that one too, used to be at one of her barns. From what I heard she's been cleaning up her act though, and I like the barn.
I had an issue with the barn owner turning a blind eye to one person while holding several people up on their rule (mainly one person who is very rude and thinks they own the barn... if you know who I'm talking about) We all complained about it, until he changed the rule a little. He does listen to reason and is trying to run this barn the best he can, which sometimes isn't as we'd like it but I think he's in the process of making the barn what he wants (slowly however).
Let me know if you wanna go on the trail ride :) I think I want to make it to at least the second bridge today! But I may not be as brave if I go alone (can't take Reily today)