Not gettng along with the owner... Need advice! - Page 2 - The Horse Forum

View Poll Results: Should I leave or stay
Leave and stop putting up with her? 4 80.00%
Stay and put up with it cuz i love the barn? 1 20.00%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

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post #11 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 09:58 PM
Green Broke
 
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had the sameish thing happen....sorta.....my extrainer was like a surrogate mother to me, took me to al sorts of rodeos, hired me to help with her clinics and her moms business....i was part of the family. In return I mucked stalls, broke horses for her, and did things like house sit for them, babysit their kids...eventually she got more into rodeo, and my mare had just been retired from rodeo so I was showing her so I switched to my new trainer, she got really insulted and started spreading rumors about me and my mother, saying we were cruel to our horses, we cheated, we didnt really know how to ride we just bought really fancy horses (okay my colts $200, and he wasnt even a purebreed....) but she would be really civil and polite to our faces.... thankfully I didnt board at her house so I didnt have to deal with all that....

You just gotta kill em with kindness. She spread rumors aabout us and tried to stab us in the back, we invited her to our barn raising, I still talk to her daughter all the time...

*Insert something witty*
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post #12 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 09:59 PM
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OP, I believe you! I've btdt! Some people in horse-related positions of authority/ownership just SUCK!

You sweep up to be nice, plus buy her b'day & xmas gifts & have apologized repeatedly WHEN there's nothing to apologize for in getting a better teacher, ad nauseum? I find this female to be one of those who suck, yes indeedy.

If she were decent, she'd work on her skills to win you back as a student, rather than make your time at the barn a living hell.

What to do? First off, talk to your parents, leaving nothing out about the history of her treatment of you & how you've been good to her regardless. Your parents are the more important relationships, & fact that they side with her is far more worrisome than her trip. It may not help, but you'll have tried to get through to the parents!

About her: like others said, leave or suck it up, because she's not about to change, EVER. Yet I don't expect you to suck it up as if it's the only reasonable choice; leaving has all of the validity in the world. It comes down to what YOU can handle; if she's sucking the joy out of your horse time, time to go!

I'm sure that you already know whether this is true or not. There's no point in staying if it's true.

Last edited by Northern; 01-25-2012 at 10:01 PM.
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post #13 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 10:00 PM
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NOt meaning to sound harsh, but it really is true that if she owns the property, she calls the shots. Things ARENT fair. Wait a bit, stay quiet and things will likely settle down.
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post #14 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 10:25 PM
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OP didn't state how long this harassment has been going on, but the fact that owner's gotten b'day & xmas giftS (in the plural) suggests that it's been over a year. If it's gone on unabated for even 6 months, that's a loonng 6 months, or at least it would be for me. There's got to be some cut-off point, to call it quits. Now, I'd really like to know how long it's gone on - OP?
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post #15 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 10:54 PM
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If my trainer ever treated me like that I'd be out the door that instant and taking all my horses and CASH with me. She doesn't deserve your money if she's going to be like that.
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Pssh.I didn't pick up the wrong lead
It's called a counter canter...
...A very advanced maneuver.
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post #16 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 10:58 PM
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I am with you there SorrelHorse, but the OP is a minor, her parents are the ones with the cash.
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post #17 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 11:08 PM
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I'd move out and find somewheres else to go. Bunched panties and maybe possibly barn gossip seem to have set in and she clearly has made up her mind if she's "out to get you" so to speak. She probably has over heard you saying her training basically sucks or that she doesn't know what she's doing and that's fine if you think that but she takes in offensively. If it were me I would just move. I don't like the barn gossip/drama bs.
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post #18 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 11:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cowgirls Boots View Post
I'd move out and find somewheres else to go. Bunched panties and maybe possibly barn gossip seem to have set in and she clearly has made up her mind if she's "out to get you" so to speak. She probably has over heard you saying her training basically sucks or that she doesn't know what she's doing and that's fine if you think that but she takes in offensively. If it were me I would just move. I don't like the barn gossip/drama bs.
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How would you take it if it were you?

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh crap, she's up!".
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post #19 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 11:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waresbear View Post
I am with you there SorrelHorse, but the OP is a minor, her parents are the ones with the cash.

Then she doesn't deserve her parents money either.
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Pssh.I didn't pick up the wrong lead
It's called a counter canter...
...A very advanced maneuver.
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post #20 of 37 Old 01-25-2012, 11:13 PM
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I would be offended too. I'm saying she's fine to think that but publicize it isn't right especially in her barn where it's most likely to get back to her. That's asking for trouble.

ETA if you did publicize this in her barn and that's the reason for bunched panties you asked for this situation
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