Not gettng along with the owner... Need advice! - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
View Poll Results: Should I leave or stay
Leave and stop putting up with her? 4 80.00%
Stay and put up with it cuz i love the barn? 1 20.00%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

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post #31 of 37 Old 01-27-2012, 02:29 AM
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I can't help but agree with franknbeans on this one. You should not have been in her house without permission, open door policy or not. That is especially true if you know she doesn't like you in the first place. You say she accuses you of things you don't do or make a bigger deal than necessary of the things you do. What if she had accused you of stealing or something of that nature? You could be in big trouble right now.

Something else I have to bring up. I have a 15 year old daughter. Her idea of clean does not match mine. When she cleans up her muddy boot prints or anything else for that matter....well, she tries, but it isn't cleaned as well as if I had done it myself.

Before you act hastily, I'd ask you to consider a few things. For one, there will always be people you don't like or that don't like you at every barn. If you like and get along with everyone else, well there are worse situations to be in. Trust me when I say there are far worse situations to be in. If you really like your trainer and are learning a lot....you may not find that in your next barn. Every public boarding barn has problems. Some worse than others. You can run into some real crazies. I board my horse, so I know this all far to well. Just some things to consider.
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post #32 of 37 Old 01-27-2012, 06:05 PM
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For your poll you should put the option of confronting this lady about why she has a problem with you. Then you can stay WITHOUT putting up with anything.
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post #33 of 37 Old 01-29-2012, 11:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xXSerendipityXx View Post
For your poll you should put the option of confronting this lady about why she has a problem with you. Then you can stay WITHOUT putting up with anything.

I disagree here.
No child should ever confront an adult about something, such a bratty move, you will only make matters worse. You will also come across as very immature and like a now it all.
If a CHILD, which I consider the OP to be, has an issue with an ADULT they should try and avoid any other mix ups and be on you P's and Q's, eventually the situation will blow over and there will be nothing to get upset about.

It seems the OP has solved this problem already though, by finding a new place to keep her horses and train at, so my post is not really directed at her. Its for any minors out there that may think they have any reason at all to be disrespectful to an adult, I learned the hard way that it never helps anything.
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post #34 of 37 Old 01-30-2012, 08:53 AM
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This is making my head spin!

Last year I leased a horse who was privately owned but stabled at someone's barn. the first day i went to ride i was in sneakers simply because I hadnt ridden in a while and i needed new boots. She refused to let me ride like that. I wanted to tell her to take a hike but i figured it was her yard and her rules and i was new and therefore did not want to step on her toes. she also picked me out about EVERYthing, told me how to ride, where to ride, what to do and it drove me nuts but i had to just shut up and deal with it. inside my head I had a few price words and names going on that I wanted to call her but I bit my tongue and had a "yes Ma'am No Ma'am" attitude. For the record im 28 years old and I feel that as an adult we are on the same level but it was her property not mine.

On the other hand (besides the mud issue etc) I also feel that a barn owner is a service provider...it's their business which makes you the paying client and they should be treating you like an asset to their business. Without their clients they have no business. But there also needs to be mutual respect. These barn owners (some of whom can be a living nightmare as we all can be) take on the responsibility of looking after OUR horses more than we are there to do it ourselves very often. They are up in the middle of the night if something is wrong, first thing in the morning and go to sleep late at night and they work **** hard. I personally wouldnt have it in me to run a barn the way some of these people do.

The equine world is one like no other. The back stabbing and rivalry can sometimes be overwhelming. I personally have aimed to be friends with everyone and not say a bad word about people and not listen to their complaints either. When my BO has something bad to say about another I change the subject because I never know when I might need the other persons help.

When we were still in school my friend spent crazy amounts of time at her instructors house until eventually the instructors husband said no more because it was an invasion of his private time. He permanently had kids sprawled on his couches and making a noise and mess. Looking back I cant blame him.

If you like the barn and your horse is well looked after then perhaps keep your interaction with the BO to a minimum. Dont make a mess in her house, take your boots off at the door (my mother would have killed me if i had done that in her house so the same applies in someone else's home), be polite, practise safe riding and adhere to her riding rules if she has any (ie safety requirements etc).

The kids at our barn are there every day and help (voluntarily) to bring the horses in and help feed and groom them even though the groom is being paid to do so. They are a pleasure to have and always so polite
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post #35 of 37 Old 01-30-2012, 08:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierrams1123 View Post
I disagree here.
No child should ever confront an adult about something, such a bratty move, you will only make matters worse. You will also come across as very immature and like a now it all.
If a CHILD, which I consider the OP to be, has an issue with an ADULT they should try and avoid any other mix ups and be on you P's and Q's, eventually the situation will blow over and there will be nothing to get upset about.

It seems the OP has solved this problem already though, by finding a new place to keep her horses and train at, so my post is not really directed at her. Its for any minors out there that may think they have any reason at all to be disrespectful to an adult, I learned the hard way that it never helps anything.
I would like to know IF the parents have agreed to move the OPs horses??? If they are "siding" with the BO then perhaps they know more than has been disclosed by the OP. As a minor (which we are all assuming the OP is but has not been confirmed unless I missed something) the OP would need their consent to move her horses not so?
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post #36 of 37 Old 01-30-2012, 10:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierrams1123 View Post
I disagree here.
No child should ever confront an adult about something, such a bratty move, you will only make matters worse. You will also come across as very immature and like a now it all.
If a CHILD, which I consider the OP to be, has an issue with an ADULT they should try and avoid any other mix ups and be on you P's and Q's, eventually the situation will blow over and there will be nothing to get upset about.

It seems the OP has solved this problem already though, by finding a new place to keep her horses and train at, so my post is not really directed at her. Its for any minors out there that may think they have any reason at all to be disrespectful to an adult, I learned the hard way that it never helps anything.
Sorry I came off as a disrespectful brat
It's just what I would have done if I were her..
There IS a way to let people know how you feel about something without sounding like an immature know it all, tho

Last edited by xXSerendipityXx; 01-30-2012 at 10:33 PM.
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post #37 of 37 Old 01-31-2012, 12:36 AM
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The problem with gossip is it is all about lies with a shred of truth. There's the old adage What I said isn't what you heard. And people are inclined to add their own slant to the story to best suit their purposes. Something harmless can become malicious. Anyone who listens to gossip is a danged fool.
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