The sad truth to a lot of stables these days - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 31 Old 12-14-2011, 08:38 PM Thread Starter
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The sad truth to a lot of stables these days

I don't want to disrespect anyone or their barns but I find 9/10 barns these days are filled with drama, and that's very disappointing. I used to lease a horse in the summer/fall and while I was leasing him I was at 2 separate stables. The first one was a nightmare.. I was only there a month and I hated it because I was the only person there besides the BO's horse and they were just a couple of hicks that knew practically nothing about horses and didn't care for horses like they should of been. I found moldy poop in his bucket, they were outside 24/7 unless there was literately a hurricane, and he was VERY inappropriate towards me. We decided that we needed to move ASAP and find a new barn. We moved him to a AMAZING stables 20 minutes away from my house and I was so excited that I finally had other girls to ride with

I met a girl who also boarded her horse there and we became good friends. We rode together almost everyday and loved spending time with the horses. Everything was fine until I noticed that she was starting to act like she was HIGH above me. She would speak to me like I knew nothing about horses (not saying I'm an expert) she only started riding 2 years ago and that was 100% green rider. She would critique me on everything I did and made me feel horrible. I told my boyfriend about it and he suggested I stop talking to her because it was only going to lead to problems... I should of listened to him but I didn't want to stop talking to this girl out of the blue..

Long story short she started acting weird around me, stopped talking to me completely at the barn and then the next day she would act like she was my best friend, she was acting bi-polar. She texted me one night and started telling me that I didn't know anything about riding, I looked like "an idiot at the fun show the weekend before, and I should be embarrassed of myself" even though I placed 3rd in my pleasure class and she got 5th...

This upset me and I told her that I was proud of what I have accomplished seeing that I have never taken lessons before and I pretty much taught myself everything I know and anything else on the horse forum.

So that's fine we never speak again BUT she is there the last night I rode the horse before I stopped leasing. This was a few nights after the conversation. I was riding with another girl at the barn while she watched, completely mocking me the entire time I rode.

I found out about a month after that while I was riding that night she went into the tack room and picked up someones blackberry thinking it was mine and starting SNOOPING THROUGH THE PHONE! I was furious when I found out that she tried looking through my phone. She even confessed to the owner of the phone telling her that there were some f**cked up pics of me on her phone AKA phone owner.. she was so mad at her for going through her phone she told me everything. She contacted the BO about the girl looking through her phone and talking about me to the other people in the barn saying I was a horrible rider and I knew nothing. And told people I was lying about buying my first horse because she was now riding the horse I used to lease.

I am so mad and I want to say something to her, but I don't have her on fb anymore. I'm scared I will see her at a horse show or other type of function like that and have to talk to her there...

Anyone else have any problems at barns in the past or present that made you want to just build a barn in your back yard? And never have to deal with that stuff again..

Horses lend us the wings we lack.

Last edited by capercowgirl; 12-14-2011 at 08:42 PM.
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post #2 of 31 Old 12-14-2011, 09:01 PM
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The best bet for handling drama is to ignore it. People like that ENJOY provoking a response from you. The more you get upset, the more she wins.
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post #3 of 31 Old 12-14-2011, 09:08 PM
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It's not a horse barn thing. It's a people thing.
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post #4 of 31 Old 12-14-2011, 09:45 PM
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I can happily say that barn #10 still exists because I'm at it. We have about 30 boarders at our barn. Mostly adults. I can honestly say I have not experienced one issue of drama in the two years I've been there. People have differences in training & horse care, but nobody judges. Input is only given if it is asked for. Otherwise, people keep their mouth's shut. It's fantastic.

You just have to see your distance...you don't have to like it.
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post #5 of 31 Old 12-14-2011, 09:51 PM Thread Starter
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I am boarding at my friends barn now and it's great! Everyone is friends and we all support eachother:). I'm glad that I finially have a barn where I'll be happy to go to everyday.
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Horses lend us the wings we lack.
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post #6 of 31 Old 12-14-2011, 10:44 PM
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I've had my share of barn drama at our ex barn...

Luckily, we are now boarding at a private residence farm, and we are the only boarders there!! So we have the place to ourselves, with no one to mock us or talk behind our backs......The property owners are non horsey people who just love animals in general, and they are super helpful in regards to doing whatever the horses need (like buying them a $300 dollar 60 inch barn fan for the summer) and they leave us to make decisions about our horse's care and feeding and turnout ourselves.

We couldn't have asked for a better place to keep our horses.
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post #7 of 31 Old 12-14-2011, 11:37 PM
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It sounds a lot like high school - you deal with it by ignoring it and just walking away, don't even give it a second thought.
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post #8 of 31 Old 12-15-2011, 03:26 AM
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My experience?
The first yard I learnt to ride at for 2 years, the old man liked younger girls. That's all I'm saying on the subject.
The next yard was brilliant- at first. I broke my shoulder in a riding accident and spent 8 months with metal in my arm. When it came out, I started riding with a new women on the yard, I'll call her Sarah. Now, I bought a TBx 5yo who was completely unsuitable, and after 10 months sold her to someone with more experience. Then I bought my old horse Doey. She trained me, took me to my first competition, looked after me - everything. Then she had an affair. Her family where friends with my family, her husband was in Afghan when she did this, and when he got back he came to ours and broke down. My dad told him everything he knew.
This woman then made my life, as an 18yo, her being a 34 yo woman, an absolute misery.
My dad approached her, and told her to leave me alone ;I don't have a problem with you, I have a problem with your daughter.'
Now, I was at the yard with my parents all the time, and I cannot think of one thing I had done to piss this woman off.

In the end, I went to the police, there was a big investigation. To make it worse, she was investigation branch, so therefore police. She made my work life a misery. Despite her knowing the 'Whilst you're under investigation you keep your trap shut'rule she tried to influence my witnesses.

She cause a riding accident with myself, she spooked my dad's horse who did a full rear with my tiny mum leading her, she whipped my horses as I rode past her.

I moved. I have never experienced anything so horrific in my life.

THEN. New yard, August last year. People are there to WORK their horses. I have had a couple of issues which I ranted on here, but if you ignore it, and don't let it show how much it bothers you on the outside, they'll leave you be.

As bubba said, its not yards, its human nature.
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post #9 of 31 Old 12-15-2011, 06:43 AM
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Its a people thing!

My line at work is FILLED with drama.


Time to learn to deal with it now, so that it doesn't bother you as an adult.
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post #10 of 31 Old 12-15-2011, 06:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VelvetsAB View Post
Its a people thing!

My line at work is FILLED with drama.


Time to learn to deal with it now, so that it doesn't bother you as an adult.
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Well said!

My work is supposed to be with adults... but you have to run around after them like children!
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