Is There Barn Etiquette? - Page 2
 
 

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Is There Barn Etiquette?

This is a discussion on Is There Barn Etiquette? within the Horse Boarding forums, part of the Barns, Boarding, and Farms category

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        01-26-2014, 12:26 AM
      #11
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by princessfluffybritches    
    I board at a place where it's all pasture board, about 20 horses. On the weekends the kids and their moms hang out there, and some ride. It's a pretty friendly group. I've been there since September. I get along with everyone and I'm not one to make waves

    I was tacking up my horse at the same time these 2 other women were, then they got on their horses and left for the trail. They walked right passed me and left.

    It's a mile to the trail, so I don't know of anyone that goes alone. I don't care if your my worst enemy, if I was going to the trail I would ask anyone I see if they want to go. It's called being a good boarder, yes?

    Well I was upset the rest of the day, and I really shouldn't be. But I am. They know I'm upset, but didn't look my way as I left.

    I don't like confrontation. But will most likely see them tomorrow or the next day. I just don't know how to handle things like this. Help?
    I doubt if they were slighting you. More like, they've been there a long time, are familiar with the roads and trails and wouldn't think twice about going out alone. You, on the other hand, are less secure because you haven't made it out there yet and don't want to be alone the first time or 3. They, on the other hand, probably think you've gone out there all by yourself at some point during the 5 months you've been there. So, tomorrow, just be casual and friendly and explain that you're not secure about going out on trail by yourself yet, and would they mind if you came along, either today or someday in the future if today would upset their plans? That way you take the pressure off of them and keep the door open at the same time.
         
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        01-26-2014, 12:38 AM
      #12
    Started
    I don't see any issue with it. Next time ask if they would mind you joining when they go out. When I ride in the back I don't invite the whole barn to go with me, and sometimes two people just want some time together. Unless there's a reason they would be upset with you, then ghey probably weren't even thinking about it.
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        01-26-2014, 01:50 AM
      #13
    Trained
    I think you're sounding a little entitled. You have no idea what their situation is. Maybe they didn't want you alone, maybe they just didn't think about it, maybe they were on a schedule and couldn't wait for you. They could have had something special planned. Even though you're all boarding in the same place, people aren't obligated to take you out on the trails if you're not comfortable going alone.

    A good boarder is paying your bill on time, being nice to the staff, etc. It's not about riding with the other boarders. I know plenty of people who would not invite along someone else on their ride - and they're not bad boarders.

    If you don't feel comfortable riding alone, that may end up being a problem for your trail time. You should really try to make plans with people or make friends specifically to trail ride with and not just try to depend on someone else who just happens to be there to take you.

    Just some tough love.
         
        01-26-2014, 02:14 AM
      #14
    Weanling
    I personally don't see what the issue is. But then again I'm a private person and would rather ride alone or with a friend rather then someone who is practically a stranger and be forced to make small talk etc.

    Next time if your set on riding with them casually ask them if they have a minute to wait so you can tag along.
         
        01-26-2014, 07:14 AM
      #15
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by princessfluffybritches    
    I rode down to a field with one of them about 3 months ago. At a walk. I always let someone else take the lead in whether they want to talk or not, if they want to run or not. If people tell me stuff I keep it to myself. And if I can't say something positive about their horse, or riding, I don't say anything at all. I just go with the flow most of the time.

    I do think that one of them is really insecure, so she overcompensates for it by acting snooty sometimes. I think today was one of those times. Like "let me show you how important you are". Maybe it's pecking order, I watch my chickens establish that all the time, LOL

    Maybe I'm just over reacting and let my feelings get hurt.
    Just don't take it personally if it wasn't meant to be, or if it's because the ladies insecure. It's their issue not yours :)
         
        01-26-2014, 01:55 PM
      #16
    Yearling
    I appreciate all the advice. I think you all have made me realize I may be being too sensitive about things I shouldn't have gotten so sensitive about. If one or both are there, I will approach them and say I had been overly sensitive about it because I was so eager to be thought of as one of the girls. That I was worried that I might have caused them to not ask, or if they just wanted to ride together with eachother. You're all so right, even without saying it, I don't want there to be problems between them and me, it would make it harder going there.

    I will update.
         
        01-26-2014, 05:02 PM
      #17
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by princessfluffybritches    
    I appreciate all the advice. I think you all have made me realize I may be being too sensitive about things I shouldn't have gotten so sensitive about. If one or both are there, I will approach them and say I had been overly sensitive about it because I was so eager to be thought of as one of the girls. That I was worried that I might have caused them to not ask, or if they just wanted to ride together with eachother. You're all so right, even without saying it, I don't want there to be problems between them and me, it would make it harder going there.

    I will update.
    How do you know that they think you're upset? I wouldn't drag the issue on if you don't have to- just be friendly and polite next time you see them out there. If you're tacking up together, then ask if they are going on a trail ride and if so, would they mind if you join? Unless you made a really poor impression on them that'll probably be less uncomfortable for everyone than just understanding that you overreacted and moving on.
         
        01-26-2014, 05:08 PM
      #18
    Yearling
    I think unless it was planned that y'all were riding together they did nothing wrong. They had no reason to wait on you and probably wanted to get going. If you were supposed to be riding with them it would be another story.
         
        01-26-2014, 06:42 PM
      #19
    Green Broke
    Sometimes it's easy to take things personally and you have to step back and make sure it's actually worth it. I wouldn't bother bringing it up, they probably don't even know you're upset. Just be friendly and mention you'd love to ride with them. I think Dreamcatcher had some great advice.
         
        01-26-2014, 06:53 PM
      #20
    Green Broke
    I'm in the same boat as pretty much everyone else...

    To answer the title of the thread, there absolutely is barn etiquette. To me, that means paying my bills on time, being polite to everyone and being respectful of their horses and property, keeping my space clean and putting away things that I use or take out. That doesn't include inviting people to ride with me.

    Honestly, I'm a bit on the introverted side and, if I had been one of those ladies, I probably wouldn't have invited the other rider unless both I and they were alone. I don't want to step on any toes, after all.

    I agree--definitely invite them to go on a ride sometime. That, for me, would open the door and make it obvious that they'd like my company. And, the next time, I'd return the favor. (:
    Yogiwick likes this.
         

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