Venting about crazy boarder - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 01:16 AM Thread Starter
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Venting about crazy boarder

I just needed to rant and get all of this out of my system because I'm fearing explosion at the moment.

I board my two horses at a little place that I love and I work there as well, it's not big and fancy but I love it to death. Among the few boarders that come out though is a lady that I cannot stand. I do not get involved in drama, I avoid it at all cost and like to enjoy my horses by myself or with a few people that I like. In the beginning of her being there I would simply nod and walk away, trying to be pleasant even though I detested her know it all ness and narcissism. (To top it all off she's a Natural horsemanship extremist who honestly believes she's psychically connecting with the horses). Soon however she began to order me around like I was her groom, 'teach me' about things that my boss was teaching me to do correctly, and even interrupting my dressage instructor who came out to tell her how to teach me. Many times when I was fixing fencing in an empty field she would turn horses out and then proceed to stand over me as I did my job, like I'm a devious person out to maim horses. When I would bring up my gelding (who's spooky and isn't really a fan of new people at first) she would do 'pressure points' to 'ease' his worrying without my consent and ignore my 'no's..... and freaked him out so bad I couldn't get him into the barn easily for a few weeks. Whenever I ride she would come over, and instruct me on what I was doing wrong (for instance my mare doesn't cue with any leg, she hates it) and verbally berate me for being cruel and immature with my riding. I talked to my boss (who's the BO) about all this and more that she had been doing towards me and my horses and my boss talked to her and things went easy for a while.

I went out a few weeks later and saw the lady out there working a horse in the roundpen using her natural horsemanship. I didn't think two things of it and was going into the barn to sit while my mom went and got my mare when I poked my head out the door to see her working our gelding (the skittish horse). He was dripping in sweat and my mom gave her a talking to and brought him up. This lady's excuse was that he 'wasn't working enough' and 'she wanted to desensitize him' for us. Putting it this way he is as good as he is ever going to get. And he does not understand the whole, natural horsemanship, games, etc method. It freaks him out five ways to sunday. She backpedaled when my mom kept telling her what a raft of crap that excuse was so she said that the BO had told her to work him. I've known the BO longer than she has and there is no way that she would tell her to work a horse, especially one that wasn't hers and she didn't have permission to. We asked the BO and she gave her a talking to.

Now at this point the woman began making comments to us, other boarders, and clients as well as to vets and farriers about how we mistreat our older mare. She's 20 years old and I still ride her fine, she's a good weight for her age, has no health problems and is just as grouchy as ever. She has never like to canter and it's not because of a health problem just her personality so she pins her ears every time. The 'horse whisperer' as she's dubbed herself began to yell at us because we have not had a chiropractor out, put her on massive supplements, stopped riding her, etc, etc. I just tuned her out and went on with my life. I've been injured so right now I go out when I feel good with my mother and just visit with my old mare. We got there and lone behold there was said woman, poking and prodding on my mares back and irritating the crap outta her. When we came in and saw that we both went livid. She then had the gall to give us a chiropractic bill from her chiropractor that was over $300 for a checkup which lone behold: nothing was wrong.

We found out afterwords from the doc that she had worked my horse using her NH methods for well over an hour. There was a bit of a conversation between me, my mom, the lady, the BO and the BO's husband (who both just got back home in time for this debacle) about leaving other peoples horses ALONE. We threw the bill back in her face and the woman was told if she touches our horses again she would be thrown off the property, and my mom would be filing a civil complaint against her with the police.

Since then we've had no further altercations with her and our horses (she still claims we abuse them though) and she still treats me like her personal groom and the insect on her boots underside but I'm pretty good at staying the heck outta her way and being pretty blunt and to the point with her when she does decide to corner me into a conversation. (I'm almost always pleasant and calm, I'm not turning into a raving loony yet! lol) I just needed to vent before I hit that final step! If anyone feels the need, please tell me I'm not overreacting to this.
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post #2 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 01:30 AM
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Id be moving barns, immediately.
Unacceptable. As soon as I found out she'd been working with my horse with out consent, she would've gotten a knuckle sandwich.
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post #3 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 01:50 AM
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As I have stated before I have no experience with boarding, however I do not feel you are over reacting at all! These are your horses and no one should be touching them without your permission. I have no idea what some people think or even if they do think!! This would be like me going to my neighbors pasture getting her horse and training it with out her permission and then taking it to the vet, without her consent, and giving her the bill!!! Do you know what would happen? I would probably get shot! Seriously, I would be met with a shot gun, being asked just what the he!! I was doing with her horse (my neighbor is my cousin, I know exactly what she would do!).
Why people in a barn think this is OK is beyond me.
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post #4 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 02:42 AM
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The surprise chiro bill is over the top crazy- the bo must be really good friends with that woman because any barn i been to would have kicked her out after she messed with another boarders horses with out permission- not OK to mess with someones horses unless its an emergency!
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post #5 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 03:22 AM
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I think you're handling it great! I would have fists flying. If it were me I would let my BO know that if anything like that happened again its either her leaving or me. How do people justify messing with other people's horses? Seriously I want to know. My car has an out back up light. If my neighbor comes over and starts messing with it he is going to get some firm words from me. Even if he is trying to help.
I think there should be a universal law in equine boarding: if it isn't yours don't touch it. 80% of barn drama would end.
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post #6 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 03:26 AM
Green Broke
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If someone took my horse out without my permission it would take something short of a court order to keep me off them! My mare is a sweet heart on the ground but i dont trust other people riding her. She can be stupid and she would hurt someone.

If i was you i would have filed a complaint to the police sooner. She could have damaged your older mare and done irreversible damage to the other. I have seen people abuse horses before, and sadly i have learned that you cant fix stupid so unless they are new owners and don't know what to do, i stay out of it. This lady needs to get a clue and work with her OWN horses! You are NOT being abusive to your horses, and you are NOT her groom! She has no RIGHT to act like that towards you.
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post #7 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 04:53 AM
Green Broke
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Im on a livery yard and I can tell you that you are NOT over reacting, I'd have thumped her long ago.

You are not her groom, so if she tries to order you round the answer is no, infact if she keeps asking the answer would steadily become ruder. I'd also hand her a bill for all the work you have already done for her and for the time she has used your horses.

I'd also start talking with the police!

The girls on my yard are lovely, but they wouldnt touch my horse without my express permission except in an emergency (Injury, colic, escapee horsey who has ignored the electric fence etc) where they would assume permission, call the vet if nessecary and then call me (obviously for escapee's they fix the fence and pop him back in his field).

I'd ALWAYS be told if anyone had to handle my horse in any way. I'm fine with them all handling him anyway because they are nice normal good horsemen/women with good common sense and non of them are natural horsemanship fanatics.

RIDE your horse FORWARDS and keep him STRAIGHT

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post #8 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 07:12 AM
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I know what I'd do... And I have a very quick temper!
I'd kick that women up the A** is what I'd do!
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post #9 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 08:04 AM
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No you are not overreacting-at all! What I do not understand is why the BO keeps this woman around? Surely she can get another boarder who will be much less trouble. Honestly-I would have told the BO LONG ago that it was her or me. One of the boarders who used to be at the place I board at had an NH instructor out for a lesson once. The instructor proceeded to tell me I was cruel for using a rope halter with a bull snap under the chin (I did not ask her opinion!)......she has never been allowed back on the property. BO and I had it out with her......We knew the horse I was working with at the time-the instructor did not. Butterfly farts and unicorns. Phooey.

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post #10 of 52 Old 08-07-2013, 08:14 AM
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Definitely not overreacting in the least! That makes me angry for you. What gall that woman has. If I were in that situation, I'd be gone, yesterday. The only way I'd consider staying would be if the crazy lady were asked to leave and IMO, that should have been done the first time she was out of line.

I have 2 boarders here in my extra pastures and can't even imagine one of them getting out another's horse for any reason let alone having chiro work done. And if they did, they would be gone. Immediately.

Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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