Who's in charge? Barnowner or boarders? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #21 of 56 Old 07-24-2013, 07:45 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Surry, Va
Posts: 4,712
• Horses: 0
the BO, trainer and boarders are treating the OP, like hired help, basically becuase she IS hired help, being paid with a place to keep the horse. She really doesn thave any room to say or do much. ALl the schedules in the world arnt gonna do anything. The others will simply ignore them. Not really in any position to enforce anything.
I would renegotiate my board contract and be a paying member and not worry about the chores.
Boo Walker likes this.
Joe4d is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #22 of 56 Old 07-24-2013, 10:04 AM
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 5,464
• Horses: 3
Originally Posted by SlideStop View Post
On her side is it possible you maybe slipped her a little attitude? Even if its not directed at her its possible she could have seen it that way. Coupled with the fact that she is scared of her horse... Probably makes for a reactive mix.


Remember OP - you were already upset about your horse and unhappy the lessons times changed without prior notification - the attitude likely carried through when you spoke to Amanda. Add the heat of the week and most folks are probably a bit on the cranky side.

Also - reading through I pick up that you do not like or respect Mattie. If you have mentioned anything negative in passing to anyone at the barn, Mattie has been told - whether you like to believe it or not.

As has been stated - the trainers bring $ in. If it comes down to it, Mattie will stay and the BO will ask you to leave.

Be proactive - Request a lesson board with lesson times updated a minimum of 48 hours in advance so that everyone can work around them.
mls is offline  
post #23 of 56 Old 07-24-2013, 11:46 AM
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: In the saddle.
Posts: 5,157
• Horses: 1
Originally Posted by tlkng1 View Post
Anebel...not that this is the place to go in to it but I was not defaming Anky. She does use the method; it IS common in Germany and it IS losing favor in dressage circles....where is the defamation?

The practice has been banned by the FEI...
Really? In Germany? Hmm...
As far as I know, at least in the circles I travel in, we try not to bad talk those who have attended half a dozen more Olympics than ourselves..
And yes, in the tone your post was in, that is defamation.
FEI was forced to release a statement due to media hysteria and has deemed postures achieved by force illegal in the FEI warm up, which is no change to the previous rules against aggression, and have put a time limit on extreme frames.
I said it and will say it again, rollkur has not definitively been proven to be detrimental, or should I say, more detrimental than a competition frame. Any other statements regarding rolkur and Anky are hearsay, inflammatory and defaming.

This is a huge pet peeve of mine. ride in a few Olympics and win a few gold medals, and then have an opinion. The Netherlands are one of the biggest powers in Olympic sport and their training methods, regardless of who uses rolkur, have turned out many happy, healthy, sound, dressage horses who have competed until they age out at 18.

I'm also not the one who brought dressage bashing into the thread. Don't like it - don't make quips.
Posted via Mobile Device

Last edited by SouthernTrails; 07-27-2013 at 09:24 AM.
~*~anebel~*~ is offline  
post #24 of 56 Old 07-24-2013, 12:57 PM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 7
• Horses: 0
It appears that you are a part of a dysfunctional barn. The barn operates only as good as the business acumen of the owner. Staying there will frustrate you to where you won't even enjoy the time with your own horses...this seems to be the case now.

Find a small privately owned barn to board your horse. This will eliminate the chaos. Sometimes it is just easier to work elsewhere and pay for the board on your horse. All barns have dramas. Minimizing the impact on you is what it is all about. Rise above the gossip. Set a stellar example. People will talk, especially horse people. That is what they do. Don't get caught up in who said or did what. Hold reasonable boundaries and others will respect you for it. Be the first to hold the standards you seek.
anndankev, Chevaux and TurkishVan like this.

Last edited by PattyAnn; 07-24-2013 at 01:04 PM.
PattyAnn is offline  
post #25 of 56 Old 07-24-2013, 01:19 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,246
• Horses: 2
Let me offer the suggestion you don't want to hear: Forget it ever happened.

I'm an instructor at a small barn, and my boss does the same sort of thing you BO does. She knows she has to please her clients, because they bring in money. In my case, my boss knows she has to please the students. Mainly, the student's parents. Because of this, my boss is always telling me to do stuff I frankly think is absolutely asinine to keep the student's parents happy. I HATE being told how to do my job. Being criticized by the students ignorant parents was one thing, but being criticized by my boss for not listening to said ignorant parents? The hell?

But working at a barn is a game. And you gotta play it. It often sucks, and the people around you are often idiots. I work in exchange for board on two horses, yet I'm not offered the same treatment as "normal paying" boarder are.

But that's the way it is. Working for board is too good arrangement to not suck up my pride, bite my lip, and deal with it. Because being told what to do by stupid people gets me right in the pride every time. I'm in the most perfect situation realistically possible at the moment, even if it isn't perfect in every way. Think about your situation. Is making a scene really worth it when you could just quiet down and let everything return to normal?
anndankev, Celeste and TurkishVan like this.
Brighteyes is offline  
post #26 of 56 Old 07-24-2013, 03:59 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 387
• Horses: 2
You have a good point, Brighteyes. Actually, I've decided to just pretend it didn't happen and go on. I think I made the point quite clear to my barnowner, and I think she respects what I said. I have always been one of those people that just keeps my head down, and goes on. This time was just one too many though. But I will leave if it gets worse. No amount of money is worth my horse's happiness and my sanity.

One of the poster's was right- my tone could have come off worse than I intended. And I would have gladly apologized if I'd even realized. I knew I had my temper reined in quite a bit, but it might have seeped through into my voice a bit.

I do not, in fact, like Mattie the trainer. I hadn't heard of her before boarding there, and I knew that my riding instructor didn't favor her, but I never heard a bad word from my instructor about her. Just that she didn't favor her riding techniques. I decided to stay neutral (and stay out of it!) until Mattie insisted on telling all of her clients at the barn (as well as the barnowner) that my horse's breed was only made for driving, and that they were drafts originally bred for plowing. That one did sting a bit, as I had never talked to Mattie before, let alone given anyone a bad opinion of her. She's just that type of person. Personally, I hate drama, and stay far, far away from it if I can. Usually ignoring it does the trick, even though some comments sting. Far more so when they come from people that are old enough to be your mother...

While I can't see any possibility of giving up chores (I board 2 horses there, and just can't afford to do that), I think I will ask the barnowner if it'd be possible for Mattie to shoot us all a text message at least 24 hours before her lessons. That's a good idea.

I'm really not one of those people that tries to control everything. Never have been. I'm more of a "tell me what to do, and I'll do it" type of person. I was told by another boarder (that's just as fed up with this crap as I am) that this barn used to be relaxed, easy-going, and fun. None of Mattie's other students have a problem with us moving horses around, thankfully. So maybe we can continue to go on as we always have, with them at least.
TurkishVan is offline  
post #27 of 56 Old 07-24-2013, 08:19 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,264
• Horses: 2
Like I said before Anebel this isn't the place to go into it and actually I wasn't going to respond back..but, a this point we have to agree to disagree and move on. Rolkur is a very controversial practice and is going to bring up heat on both sides. The comment about, ride in a few Olympics and get some gold medals before giving an opinion was flatly uncalled for. If that is a requirement to make any type of statement than technically no one on this board should be making any type of comment about training or anything else. So, agree to disagree and no more comment(s) on the subject of Rolkur.
tlkng1 is offline  
post #28 of 56 Old 07-25-2013, 11:05 AM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Montgomery, TEXAS
Posts: 2
• Horses: 3
Even if you have to work 2 jobs! you need to just pay board, and stop doing "c

hores" for the ungreatful Bs. Even if you have to work 2 QUOTE=TurkishVan;3142898]This may turn into a bit of a rant, so I apologize. I'll try to keep it as concise as possible.

I have boarded at my current barn for a full year. I work off my board per a work agreement, and I'm at my barn every night for several hours, even when it's not "my night. I enjoy working at the barn, as working with horses relaxes me.

Two people that board there take lessons with an instructor that we'll call "Mattie." This last winter, Mattie moved one of her lesson horses there. Mattie never does chores, as she has no work agreement with the barnowner. A few months ago, one of Mattie's other students came to board at this barn for the summer. This horse is BIG, and has been boarded there several times before. Usually short stints before taking off to go to a show (so, several weeks or so at one time). He has quite the reputation for having bad ground manners. Personally, I found that his owner, who we'll call "Amanda", an older(ish; maybe 60) woman with gobs of money, never tried to reinforce anything with him. If she doesn't get the response she wants, she stops trying. To make it worse, she only comes about twice a month to ride him in a lesson, and never comes to just see him. I've found that he's very smart, and once you get his attention by making him complete an action (though not with abuse, mind you), he listens up. So I have had no trouble handling him so far.

The other morning (at 6 a.m.) I went out to complete chores for the horses, and to put my horses out to pasture. Mattie, the trainer, failed to inform us that she had moved her lessons to early in the morning, to avoid the afternoon heat. No big deal- we just work around them.
I hurried to get my horse and another out before Amanda brought her big horse into the alley (it's a small barn, so there's no easy alternate ways to go other than through the alley). I found that my horse had had an accident, and ripped out a large portion of her tail. It really upset me, as we have a big show coming up. So it took me a bit longer to get her out of her stall, as I was assessing her for further injuries. Unfortunately, at that time, Amanda brought in her horse and tied him up in the crossties. I was unhappy about the tail issue, and said to Amanda, "I need to take my horse out. Do you mind moving him over a bit?" I said it in a fairly neutral voice. When she couldn't get him to step over, she decided to just walk him out, then turn around and take him back into the barn. Not a big deal. She didn't say anything else to me, and chatted with another lesson goer while tacking up her horse.

Later that night, I was confronted by the barnowner (an older woman) who said that I had been rude to Amanda. The barnowner wanted to emphasize the importance of being a lesson barn, where people come to relax with horses. So she wanted us to discontinue any chores, or turnout of horses, while others were in the alleyway. (Apparently the horses behind the crossties did not get fed, get their stalls cleaned, etc. until the lessons were over, which was about 2-3 hours later.) The barnowner stated that Amanda was "mentally and physically shook up" by having to deal with that situation (moving her horse), as she had a hard time handling him. (Her horse was being as gentle as a kitten at the time- I kid you not.) At that point, I was so angry, I couldn't take anymore. I laughed and said, "Well, she'll have to deal with it!" Then all hell broke loose. The barnowner told me that I wasn't respecting the other boarders, and I stated that they were not respecting anyone else as a boarder. I told her that I pay board just like they do, and that I should have equal treatment. I said that I was sick of people bringing out their horses and leaving them alone in the crossties for 20 minutes, while they chatted with friends in the tack room, then tacked them up in 5 minutes and left. I tried to emphasize the fact that I was sorry if I had offended Amanda, but it's common courtesy to move your horse aside if another is coming through. If the situation arises again, the barn owner wants me to undo an electric fence, go through one gate, go through another horse's run, and then another gate to get my horse out of the barn. It's far more complicated, and once classes start up, I'll be rushing everything! She said I could do it that way or move my horse's stall (which one of Mattie's students has asked me to have, as it has a bigger run). I told her I didn't want my horse moved, and she said something about eviction. Though she stated right afterwards, "Now, I don't want to do that..." At which I stated I didn't want to leave. I think she depends on me too much for chores, as the other guy that does chores is already overloaded, and we're the only ones that do them.

I really believe that the problem is Mattie. It's a very small barn, and over half of the horses and riders there are under her instruction. The barnowner tried to make excuses for them by saying, "If they were higher level dressage riders, they'd be even worse." In my opinion, they're inconsiderate enough as it is! The barnowner has also had a falling out with Mattie, as Mattie screamed at her after the barnowner asked about the type of hay to feed her horse. So the barnowner avoids Mattie at all costs, yet tries to please her at every turn. The barnowner blames Mattie's behavior on an old leg injury that Mattie sustained, that she is supposedly getting surgery for in December. (Though, and I quote, "She should be getting it now, but she's toughing it out so she can be with her students until the end of show season.") I've seen this woman walk absolutely perfectly fine when she thinks no one else is around watching, and I'm starting to think she's really bluffing it. Maybe a pain med addict? Who knows. With her explosive outbursts, I wouldn't put it past her... I just wish she wasn't such a problem!

I really do want to remain in this barn, as they give excellent care otherwise, and I can work off my board. That's not an option anywhere else. My horses and myself (for the most part) are happy there. The barnowner tried to joke with me afterwards and whatnot, and I was civil, but still wasn't happy about it. I put the blame back on Mattie (for not informing us of the lesson times), but I don't know how to get past this situation if it comes up again. They ALWAYS have lessons during chore time! The other guy that does chores has to be at work by 7 a.m., and I have to be there by 8. Neither of us can just sit around and wait until they're done. And we're both very tired in the evenings, and just want to get back home and out of the heat. Surely it's not right to sacrifice the health and happiness of the horse (what we're there for!) for the convenience of the rider?

Katzarr is offline  
post #29 of 56 Old 07-25-2013, 03:53 PM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 268
• Horses: 0
Originally Posted by franknbeans View Post
Anyway-these types, at least any I have ever experienced, will never groom their horses in the stall. They would not even consider it. THeir horses will not ground tie, and honestly-cross ties is al they know and can deal with......so many of their horses are just like described above. Rider cannot deal with horse, and only rides for lesson.

Again-I have nothing against dressage, but it does seem to me that there are more folks with this "entitled" attitude in that particular discipline than others I have been around. JMHO
I am one of those entitled jerks!! :) We always groom on crossties - if the cross ties are busy we just wait. We also untack on crossties because we are serious bitches. I don't even know what a ground tie is.
anndankev likes this.
plomme is offline  
post #30 of 56 Old 07-25-2013, 04:02 PM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: left of center
Posts: 7,083
• Horses: 2
Originally Posted by plomme View Post
I am one of those entitled jerks!! :) We always groom on crossties - if the cross ties are busy we just wait. We also untack on crossties because we are serious bitches. I don't even know what a ground tie is.
Google is your friend. You can feel free to look it up.

Also being a "serious B", I make my horse behave without being tied, just because I can. I wait for noone. I ride when I can, and if I had to wait for folks to puts around and get done la di Da'ing while they groom I would be too frustrated to ride. Plus-this way, I know my horse is listening before I ever swing a leg over.

Don't get me wrong-he ties too......will stand there for hours if I ask, but I love that he will just stand there...while I go back and forth to the tack room, get what I need, put on my boots, helmet...whatever...and even after I start riding-if I get off to move a ground pole, etc......

To each there own, but for you to imply that because you cross tie you are more "serious"? Hmmm. Perhaps I misunderstood. Hope so.

Oh-and for the record-I did not use the word "jerk". You did. I did not do any name calling, just in case the mods are watching.....

Signature undergoing edits. Please standby.......

Last edited by franknbeans; 07-25-2013 at 04:05 PM.
franknbeans is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
So, you think you're in charge? MissingStar Horse Talk 8 03-24-2013 05:16 AM
how much to charge? Frankiee Horse Training 30 01-26-2012 11:56 PM
What Should I Charge? starlinestables Horse Pictures 18 07-05-2011 10:12 AM
What to charge? 2sammie Horse Talk 5 05-18-2011 09:35 AM
How much to charge? starlinestables Barn Maintenance 18 02-20-2011 01:24 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome