Young Boarder? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 09:08 AM Thread Starter
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Young Boarder?

I have a young lady who just started boarding at my facility. Most of my boarders are 30+ so was wary of bringing in someone so young (18). I have worked with board (she pays half twice a month) and didn't charge her extra when her horses needed a weeks stall rest after an injury. Shes a college student paying her horses way (besides vet bills by a co owner). Now shes been fine so far besides I have started noticing her not cleaning up after herself and otherwise being careless. Last night I came out to do evening feed and barn check to find the whole place lit up like a Christmas tree a pile of poo In the center isle and boarder tack room unlocked. I sent a text to her saying that this was unecceptable if shes going to come out she needs to clean up her mess and make sure lights are out and every thing is locked back. She responds immidatly with an excuse that she had tonget back to campus and couldn't be bothered no apology or affirmation that she won't do it again. I am kind of at a loss on how to deal with this issue. Its not only rude its disrespectful to me as well as my other boarders.
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post #2 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 09:40 AM
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Kick her to the curb. If she can't be bothered to apologize and make things right, then you don't need or want her in your barn. You can only be taken advantage of if you continue to let it happen.


There are plenty of respectful young horse owners out there who would jump at the chance to have her gig. Give her whatever notice you've set up in your board agreement, and stick to it.


As Maya Angelou said, 'When someone shows you who they are, believe them.' She's shown no remorse at all, and if you continue to let her stay she'll just keep pushing the envelope.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #3 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 10:07 AM
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Yeah, I used to be at a barn where people, including instructors, were very lax about sweeping the aisle, picking poo from the arena, or putting away jumps when not in use, and it drove me a bit nuts because I had grown up assuming that was the "etiquette" at all barns (though overall that barn was great, particularly the horse care). And to be really honest, since no one else seemed to bother cleaning up, I started wondering why I was taking the time and got a little lazy about it.

I moved to a barn where the etiquette is very clear and all the boarders take it very seriously. When I got my first tour from the BO, she went through the barn rules, and mentioned that a former boarder behaved like the young lady you're describing and she was asked to leave- the other boarders cared so much about the rules they couldn't tolerate the bad behavior and the BO was more interested in keeping her 20 long-term, respectful boarders happy than constantly having to remind someone who couldn't be bothered to take care of their own mess. If your new boarder doesn't seem to get that you take this seriously after your text, then you may have to ask her to leave.

I don't think I'd attribute the behavior solely to being young- I know plenty of very responsible, conscientious young horsepeople who would never act that way (there is a 15 year old at my current barn who leaves the area pristine after working with her two horses). Sounds like this is a personal issue with appreciating the rules of your barn.

For the record, I easily got back with the cleanup program as soon as I was back in an environment where people cared about it
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post #4 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 10:18 AM
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To play the devil's advocate, communication can be misunderstood across generations, especially through text. Maybe she didn't exactly say "I'm sorry", but how she worded the rest was in her own way. I often won't say sorry because it's usually a meaningless word. Instead I may explain what happened and make a mental note to avoid something in the future. I left the hose running a while ago and flooded the tank. My response was "Oh no, I completely forgot". Now I set alarms on my phone. Kind of like the "thank you"/"no problem" paragram.

If you are preoccupied it is easy to forget little things. I've left lights on when it was bright enough out that I forgot they were on. I forget to lock my house door all the time, and a pile of poop is a simple out of sight, out of mind. It's exam time in some places, maybe she's stressed out about that.
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post #5 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 10:22 AM
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Apuesto, an apology can do wonders, and there's no excuse for her blowing off the BO's concerns. Stress is no excuse, and if she's that worried about exams then maybe she shouldn't be at the barn when she should be back at the dorm studying for finals.


Her only answer was, 'I had to get back to school.' Nothing about she forgot, she won't do it again, and she's sorry for the inconvenience and mess. That's entitlement, plain and simple. MY life problems are more important than YOURS, is how her response comes across.
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post #6 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 10:28 AM
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But we don't know she blew off the OPs concerns. All we have is a biased paraphrase of what was supposedly said. Saying what she should he saying doesn't change what has been said or what her approach to linguistics is.
Stress doesn't have to be something she can do anything about, like an exam she's already written but is concerned about. Or she could be cerebral person who gets caught up in their thoughts easy. People say there's no excuse to forget things, but you don't exactly choose what you are going to forget.
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post #7 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 10:40 AM
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Did you not actually read the OP's post? The only response she got was, 'I had to get back to campus'. Nothing about being sorry about the mess or even 'OMG, I forgot because I'm so worried about exams!' Nothing, nada, zip.


Regardless, it's the OP's barn and she doesn't have to put up with someone not pulling their weight, especially since she's given this girl a sweet deal. I'd think the boarder would be MORE inclined to make sure things are right instead of just blowing them off.


If she can't manage her time correctly, then maybe she needs to stay on campus and attend to her studies, instead of leaving a mess for someone else to clean up and costing the BO extra money.
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post #8 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 10:47 AM Thread Starter
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Yes here is my paraphrase
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post #9 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 10:47 AM
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I would post or send a formal "warning" to her and advise that a barn rule has been broken and if it continues to happen that she will be asked to leave.

This takes out the casualness of a text and makes it a formal statement. A text can be seen as a request and not a demand. And once it is on paper it is undisputable.
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post #10 of 23 Old 02-24-2017, 10:52 AM Thread Starter
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I honestly wouldn't have been so upset of I didn't feel like I had just been blown off like it didn't matter. This isn't thr first time she just brushed off cleaning up after herself.
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