I have given up. It still has not stuck straight up, it's a little off center. I do brush it everyday and pull it down, but it never stays. It just adds to her character.
I did have a mane tamer ( a sleezy) but it rubbed her, so I took it off.
And now that i'm selling her, I don't really care of her mane is down or not.
Thanks for all the tips though! I appreciate it!