I would have been upset too. AZ hates for anyone to touch his ears (the men who "trained" him before his rescue used to twist and tug on his ears to get him to do what they wanted) but he will let me pet them and scritch them lightly sometimes. But if anyone else tries to touch them, especially men, he gets very upset. She should respect that it's YOUR horse.
Yes she should respect that this is your horse, however it appears that boundaries are an issue for her. As in she doesn't recognize/acknowledge them! Wish I could offer some words of wisdom, but I haven't a one.
I do have sympathetic ears and very broad shoulders, so vent whenever you feel the need.