I feel your guys' pain, I assure you. This really isn't something that I feel ok about either...I'm literally paying for everything but where she stays and her hay, but what else can I do? I know Kenzie won't get what she needs if I 'abandon' her and stop paying. BO won't care if I don't pay for the feed and extra stuff, she doesn't care now that I do, so long as it doesn't interfere with anything she is doing. It doesn't feel right to be paying so much for a filly I will never have free choices with, but it also doesn't feel right to not try to make a difference for her. I doubt Kenzie would be neglected or abused in any way by BO but she WOULD immediately go onto a diet of only grass hay, possibly some pasture (most of the horses are dry lotted. I had to fight to get her into a pen that still has grass) and 4-5 lbs of Safe Choice.
Without trying to sound like I'm the 'savior' at the farm, I'll just say that this is something I've done for multiple horses here, and that if it wasn't for HF and research that I've done, the horses would have it worse than they do. When I first came out there the horses were fed cattle or grass hay, whichever was found first, and sweet feed. Safe choice is a big improvement from that, but its still not enough for a growing yearling, and its not good enough for Kenzie.
Is it wrong for BO to have Kenzie? You be the judge of that. Undoubtedly Kenzie needs more than she will get from BO, but she also would likely not be alive if it weren't for her taking Kenzie. The rehoming facility was already ready to put her down at the first diagnosis of EHV and lameness. Because BO provides the absolute necessities to her horses (and none of them look ill, but remember, they're all adults in their prime, and most are QH, minis, or crossbreds that are easy keepers) I have NO legal backbone behind me if I were to try to do something about it...the horses get hay, feed, water, shelter, and farrier care (though not very good farrier care, I must say).
I'm really just in a situation where there isn't anything else I can do but provide what I can. Its stressful, tiring, and sometimes I worry about what happens when I can't provide any more, but I've had to just sort of put it partially out of my mind because I was literally making myself sick with worry, and worry doesn't help Kenzie.
Honestly I'm still wracking my mind trying to find a way to afford to take her, but I just can't unless I find someone who is willing to privately board her for me. Every public stable that I've found which is willing to let me work off part of my board is just too far away for me to go out twice a day and work 3-4 hours a day, (40+ minutes away) and the barns, even the shabby ones, in my area, cost at least $200 with no turn out AT ALL and me doing all of my own work. I just don't see how it would work. My hours have been cut again where I work, I don't have a car, and I'm about to start college classes and my senior year which is going to cost me. I'm literally out of ideas :/
Everyone in your life is meant to
be in your journey, but not all of
them are meant to stay till the end.
Last edited by Endiku; 06-23-2013 at 02:58 PM.