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Sad Time: Making the hard decision

2K views 25 replies 12 participants last post by  Smilie 
#1 ·
Hey all horse (and pony lovers!)
I have a very old QH gelding who is my boy and he has been through so much. I got him when I was 12 and he was 15, we've had so many fun rides and he was the horse I learned to canter on :runninghorse2: I rode him for 3 years and then he became unridable due to a ligament and arthritis.

He now has arthritis in one front leg and both both back legs, and he also has cushiniongs. Last summer he had EPM, we treated him for it and he got better, just about a week ago he started walking sideways as last summer. We started treating him for EPM again, but I don't see much of a difference. I know he is in pain and I know it is time to let him go.

NOTE: Not trying to create an argument. I am having trouble with my mom as she thinks "nature" should take its course. I do know if everyone who is close to him was here last Friday, she would've let the vet do it then. But now she keeps saying he's doing better.

How can I get my mom to understand that it's time? Especially, since my family is going to be leaving for the beach next weekend and leaving my uncle in charge. I know Rusty is not going to eat much as when I was pet sitting he didn't eat two meals for two days. (He gets fed 3x a day) And I know it needs to happen before we leave.

Thank you all for anything!
 
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#2 ·
Ah bless, such a terrible dilemma to be facing. I'm sorry.

Is there any way to ask the vet to speak to her? Maybe coming from an authority figure would give her a push in the right direction.

I have a 30 y/o I'm letting go before the weather turns cold. With his arthritis and CHF, I'm not willing to put him through another winter.

Good luck. Hope someone can convince your mother that sometimes the kindest thing is to give them release from their failing body.
 
#4 ·
Thank you both so much for your replies.
Speedracer: The vet has spoken to my mom; As I mentioned I know she would've let him go if the people close to him were there on Friday, but then she changed her mine Saturday.

Tinyliny: Rusty is my horse even though everyone chips in to pay for most of his needs. I plan to talk to my mom and dad when they get back from a business trip.

Thank you again so much!
 
#7 ·
I'm sorry. Like Natisha said, "Nature is not always kind". It's a much more loving act to put them down when they still have a little dignity left than it is to do it nature's way where they might lay in pain for hours before that final breath. Been there where I waited a day too late and I hope for the remainder of my herd I never do that again. Tell your mom to send me a private message through this forum if she wants to know exactly what my old gelding went through during his final hours.
 
#9 ·
Thank you all for your replies.

Natisha: Even though I am an adult (27yr. old) I still live with my parents and on more than one occasion they have MADE me go. But we'll see how our conversation goes either Sunday or Monday.

JCnGrace: Thank you, for your kind words. My mom does not like online things, nor I don't think she knows I even on the forum. Possibly she may think I just reads them.

Waresbear: Thank you and thank you for the hugs :)
 
#10 ·
Have you told your Mom that's it's kinder to say that final good bye a week too early than a minute too late? Also, when the time comes, trim some of his tail so you can make a bracelet to remember him by. Kudos for being so concerned for your horse and knowing that the most difficult decision of owning an animal is the only right choice. (((((HUGS!)))))
 
#12 ·
So I finally got my mom to see how much pain Rusty is in. She finally relented and told me to call the vet. I know it's the right thing to do, but one actually have to make the call to the vet I realize how hard it is to make the call. Any suggestions on how to make the calls of that easier? He is going to look go tomorrow afternoon. Thank you all for your advice and your support, it is very much appreciated!
 
#14 ·
That call is always difficult, but you need to remember that it's the only correct choice for the horse. Sometimes making the only correct decision really hurts you, but the horse will be in greener pastures without pain across the Rainbow Bridge. His spirit will live your hearts forever as you recall those wonderful memories and lessons he taught you. Hugs!
 
#16 ·
My Jack Russell (the little guy in my profile picture) started looking bad January 2015. My husband was against letting him go. Come May, Jack stroked and after two weeks, his health kept declining. I stopped by the vet on a Monday after work and through sobs asked if they would help put my boy to sleep. I took Jack to the vet the next day and he went very peacefully. I knew it was his time to go, although I was not ready and I still recall this with tears in my eyes.



I lied to my husband and told him that Jack had another stroke and I rushed him to the vet to have him put to sleep. Turned out, my husband hadn't wanted me to hurt and that was the reason he had been opposed to Jack going in January.



Point is, sometimes emotions clog our reasoning. You are being very mature and I hope that you are able to hold onto that when the time comes and for the remainder of yours.
 
#21 ·
Hey, Thank you all so very much! Rusty went peacefully yesterday around 4pm. Rusty's food had to be made up 3x a day, it feels so strange not having to make it up and feed him.

It hurts so much not having him around, i can't even look at pictures of him :( though I know he is greener pastures running free. How long did it take you to get over the grieving process?

Thank you all so much! Thank you speedracer, I will definitely come to you all if I need anything :)
 
#23 ·
Grief takes as long as it takes, horsepony. I couldn't even say my gelding's name without bursting into tears that first year after I set his spirit free. It's been 9 years this month, and I still miss him. We never not miss them, time just makes it easier to deal with their loss and learn to live without them. I know by the time he had been gone 3 years, I was able to speak about him with laughter instead of tears, but the occasional tear will still find it's way from my heart out to my eyes.
 
#26 ·
The pain gets less, but is never really gone. Every time I visit Einstein's grave, I shed a tear.
I found it helped to remember the good times, and not how he was before I put him down
I thus went through all my photo albums (I have albums of show pictures and also ones of trail riding ) and I took every picture I had of Einstein, and created his own album. I can now look ta those pictures, and even once in awhile smile, as I see him as a foal, as a young horse I started under saddle, as a horse I rode everywhere, and also won numerous show awards with him, recalling some of the history behind each picture
Some of my favorite pictures of him, are on a loop mountain ride, I rode with him, my husband and my best friend. Only my husband remains from those pictures, and myself of course
Hubby's old trail horse, Frankie, we had to put down, as well as my Einstein. My friend died before she could have a liver transplant, developing bile duct cancer, which made her no longer eligible for a transplant
My friend's horse died, during surgery, having an eye that needed to be removed
I can now look at those pictures and re-call the good times, but for at least a year, I could not
 
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