I am sorry you had to go through that. we've had to shoot a few of our horses growing up, and its a horrible thing to go through, even if you didn't know the horse well. One of ours fell on the ice one winter and completely snapped his ankle (I mean it was hanging on my ligaments and tendons). We didn't even wait for the vet and shot him right away as he was in so much pain. Another one had a stroke while we were on a trail ride about 20K in the middle of the woods. We had to shoot her as there was no way we were getting a trailer or wagon through the trail, and she could not walk.
I understand your pain. It is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.
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