My employer is dying - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 11 Old 01-14-2012, 12:02 AM Thread Starter
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My employer is dying

My employer of 29 years is dying. He has had cancer for about 6 years and gave it a very good fight. He had the money to get the best treatment but I guess liver cancer always gets you eventually.

I would not be the person I am today if it wasn't for him. I was a bartender, when the person where I kept my horse told me my future employer was looking for a manager for his country home. 200 acres, 7 bedroom house, managers house, 7 horses, pool, 5 lakes, truck, expense acct , insurance and a 401k... I didn't give 2 weeks notice at the bar. I told him I came with, not to much baggage, just a horse, a dog and a cat.

I had horses my entire life, but driving had always been something I wanted to do. He let me indulge in my driving letting me buy a driving horse, several carts and harnesses and a trailer. Growing up in St. Louis just riding a Clydesdale had been a dream, I had the pleasure of having 3 all to myself, Ben, Seamus and Sam. I learned to braid them and took the clydes to golf tournements, bar openings, town fairs and parades. He bought me a mini Budweiser wagon and a very fancy harness for parades.

In 1985 during the World Series in STL I met a new veterinarian at the clinic in town. I begged my boss to find me tickets so I could ask the vet out. I wanted to ask him to a venue that would be hard to pass up. He got me tickets to the sold out game. It worked, in 1995 the vet and I were married.

I saw my employer through 3 weddings and 2 divorces. I can throw a party for 400 guests. I supervised 5 weddings on the property including mine, my employers 2nd and 3 professional athleats. We have had Doc Severenson and the NBC orchestra play for us by the lake and Michael Bluble play under a monster tent.

He has taken me on his yaght to Florida, Marta's Vineyard, Bahamas, St Thomas, St Martin and St Barts. He has tought me how to enjoy fine wine and to love the landscape. I got a degree in horticulture and studied arboriculture.

I am going to miss him terribly. I sat by his bedside a couple hours today and he never knew I was there. Hospice is with him so I guess it won't be long now. I don't think I got to say goodbye.
I do not know if my current head ache if from crying or the fine wine.
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post #2 of 11 Old 01-14-2012, 12:05 AM
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How very, very lucky you are to have had the opportunities he made possible. What a ride! Sorry it's ending so sadly.
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post #3 of 11 Old 01-14-2012, 12:42 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks, that is a good way to put it. It was a great ride!
I don't want to get off!

1st photo is a Missou golf tourney, hense the big M on his little blanket.
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post #4 of 11 Old 01-14-2012, 08:24 AM
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I am so very sorry that you are losing your friend (because he certainly does not sound like just an employer). It sounds like you guys had a very good ride together and I hope that all those treasured memories will bring you comfort in the days ahead.
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post #5 of 11 Old 01-14-2012, 09:28 AM
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I hate cancer.

Horses are proof that God love's us and wants us to be happy!
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post #6 of 11 Old 01-14-2012, 09:38 AM
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I am typing this with a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. It is never justice when a wonderful person, as he sounds like he is, is taken from us. He is at the end of a long and, probably, painful fight. See his passing as a release from the suffering. You will always have great memories to keep you going. It sounds like you both benefited from your wonderful friendship.

I am sending many hugs in your direction in this sad time.
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post #7 of 11 Old 01-14-2012, 10:24 PM
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post #8 of 11 Old 01-15-2012, 12:37 AM
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Yes, you had a wonderful journey w/him. Condolences on your (soon) loss. I had cancer, too-it is a scary diagnosis & it does change your life. I pray this is your only contact w/it.
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post #9 of 11 Old 01-15-2012, 10:40 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you to all of you those were kind enough to post you thoughts and best wishes. As per the family’s wishes, I spent yesterday going through all his photos at the estate picking ones I thought would be good for the funeral. I had a lot of laughs and a few tears looking at old memories.
I was asked to bring some framed photos, off of the walls, from the estate in to the family. When I told the family I didn’t because if he had a good day and came to the country he would notice that they were gone, and then I couldn’t tell him I brought them in town for his funeral. They looked at me like I was not getting the fact that he will never be out to the estate again. I saw my boss again yesterday; I think I get it now.
Thank you again
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post #10 of 11 Old 01-15-2012, 11:50 AM
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How very sad. My prayers go to him, his family, and you. You are very lucky to have so many wonderful years with him.

I hate cancer too.....

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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