Originally Posted by cowgirllinda1952 View Post
I am not emotionally attached to this foal. Maybe I mislead people into thinking that I was "selling this foal to this woman. That is not the case, she asked me for the foal in exchange for her buying feed and hay, no money or goods were to exchange hands. I am only upset over what I may end up being major issues, this being based on another deal she made with another party, same terms. That mare has just been injured and needs to be put down, and this woman is refusing to allow the mare to be put down, even thouggh she is in tremendous pain, because her "baby" will die as well.
I have no problems with her visiting thhe mare and foal, but I do not want her bringing others with her without our permission, or being bossy and controlling and ordering us around. My mare was bred when I got her, she was in very poor condition, my vet says I am doing all I can, there's nothing else I can do to get her into any better condition.
I wish now that I had just waited, if the issue with this other mare had come up first, I never would have. The mare is so severely injured, she cannot walk on her own, and no way could she jump into a trailer, yet she just keeps going on and on and on, that she's told this and that person and they say the mare does not need to be put down, without even seeing her.
My daughter insists I have alread made the deal, and cannot back out now, but in no way did I intend to make it so loose. With the mare being in such horrible condition it is very likely she won't carry to term, anyway. This woman has so far bought 4 bags of feed, and a round bale to be shared between 4 horses, only 1 was mine. I am considering very nicely telling her, that since the outcome of the foal is in question maybe it would be best to just wait and see what happens when and if te foal is born, and I will feed my own horse. I am not trying to go back on any deals, I just don't want any trouble, which with the oter situation like it is, I'm very afraid their might be. Thanks for everyones help.
Ok, I'm confused. Which mare needs to be put down? Yours or the other mare? If it's your mare that needs put down, then do it and offer her a refund AFTER the fact.
If it's not your mare that needs euthanized then, write up a contract that states exactly what has been agreed to by both parties, have it signed and witnessed by an uninvolved party IF you choose to continue this deal.
With nothing in writing, I would hand her cash for the value of the amount of feed she has provided for 1 horse, tell her that you will keep a log of feed costs for your mare and IF the foal is born, you will contact her WHEN THE FOAL IS WEANED and if she still wants it, she can pay the feed costs and take the foal right then. That eliminates any right to visit or bring friends or cause you grief in any way.
And because you say she is difficult, I would make it known to her that it is this way, take it or leave it and be prepared for her to leave it.
I will brook NO interference in the care of MY mares, regardless of whether the foal is purchased in utero or not. They own the FOAL, not the mare and I am the ONLY one who gets any say in their care. To let this woman think she has control of your mare is simply ludicrous.
At most you would owe her a foal but without a live foal guarantee she's swingin' on that one too. Out of KINDNESS since there's no written contract, you can offer her her money back but by no means are you required to do so. I always take a minimum of 1/3 NON-REFUNDABLE down payment on any horse purchase, without it.....no deal. So, if/until the feed is at 1/3 of the amount she'd reasonably be expected to pay.....pffffffft! Give her back her money and send her packing.
If it's not your mare that needs putting down, then the other mare owner needs to grow a spine.