I've been so focused on Waka's adjustment not having T there anymore, that I haven't allowed myself to think about how I feel.
Today, while driving home from work, very busy and demanding day, I found myself suddenly sobbing. Had to pull over, as my grief racked my body and made it so difficult to breathe. How foolish of me to have thought that I could simply stay so busy that I could stay ahead of the grief. No one escapes it. Best to just let it wash over you and deal with it.
I was so glad to get home and went right out to Walka. Needed to breathe in his wonderful aroma, and remind myself that I still have him , a little piece of her.
I know those that have lost a cherished horse or pet in fact, know what I'm saying. I know that the tightness in my chest will ease, that the racking sobs will also ease. Just have to get through it I suppose.
It was 2 weeks ago Monday. Seems like ages in many ways. And yet, sometimes I swear I hear her loud/demanding call.
Funny thing is, last night my husband told me how surprised he was at how well I am dealing with the loss. I chose not to tell him about today. No need to. Won't change anything.
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh crap, she's up!".