Yesterday I came home to the worst news I have ever received in my life. My heart horse Midnight passed away.
When I left for work around 7:45am he was standing in is usual spot, on the hill watching the sun come up. My dad was off work all day and he went to a doctors appointment around 8:30. He said when he came home around 10:30-11 Midnight was down near one of the trees in the field. So he ran out and immediately saw that it wasn't good. He cut his blanket off of him (he said he was in such a hurry he just cut the straps) and tried numerous times to get him up. He got him to sit up for a while and just the look in his eyes and he knew it was time to go. So he called the vet and he came out almost immediately (it took him about a hour to get here cause he was at another apt before that). The vet took his blood pressure, which he said was really low, then him and dad both tried to get him up but he would only sit for a while and just lay back down. The vet told dad that his health was fine and it was just his time to go and the best thing would be to euthanize him and not make him suffer. So that's what they did.
My dad said he passed peacefully. He only kicked a couple times when dad found him. The other horses were there also around him. Dad said his friend Flicka (my one mare) even nuzzled him a little bit.
I found out when I got home that it had happened. I had had an aching in my chest all day before I even knew. I guess a piece of me will always be missing with him. My parents didn't want to call and tell me at work because I work at a hospital and they knew I couldn't leave early (since im a newer employee you cant leave early without the possibility of termination) and they knew if they called me then I would've left and risked getting fired. Plus by the time I would've gotten home it would've been over anyway. The vet said it was just old age and couldn't have been prevented, but I cant help and blame myself. Thursday evening I had started him on 3 cups of beet pulp along with his feed. I soaked it the recommended time and everything and he ate it just fine. I cant help but think what if it was colic because of me.
I am so lost and heartbroken, but I'm also at peace knowing that he is in a better place. He touched so many lives. We use to go out to a local stable and work at a kids camp. All of the kids loved him and would argue over who got to ride him that day. He taught numerous kids how to ride and love a horse. We won many ribbons together at local shows. He never once intentionally tried to hurt me and he taught me a lot of valuable life lessons in the past 11 years. He truly was my heart horse.
Before he passed the vet looked at his teeth and confirmed that he actually looked to be mid 30s instead of mid 20s like we thought (since he was grade horse he never had papers). He lived a long healthy and happy life here.
Last night I prayed that The Lord give me a sign that he was up there with him and pain free, and to give me the strength to go visit his grave. Today I went up and cried and said my goodbyes. We buried him facing the sunrise beside of our rescue pony who passed in 2009. When I was walking up to it a few yards from his grave there was some perfect white feathers laying in the path way. The Lord granted him his wings and he deserved every bit of them.
Fly high old boy. <3