I am so sorry. My horse and his herd mates all got out the other evening from a very big heavy gate- so I am thinking if a horse really wants to go through a gate, they can.
Grieving is a process that is cyclical.... keep going through it and in time (who knows how long though) you will feel better.
"Equine-facilitated therapy employs a form of biofeedback for practicing self-awareness, emotional management, and relationship skills that human role-playing exercises and discussion groups cannot begin to access." Linda Kohanov (The Tao of Equus)