QUOTE: But should I come and call for her
Much sooner than you'd planned,
You'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And someday understand
No, sorry, I won't understand.
She didn't have my permission to go.
It wasn't her turn.
She has left too big a hole to fill.
I want her back
but I guess she won't be coming back.
Read more: The struggle draws to a close
I know what it is to grieve, and grieve ~deeply~
I lost my mom 2 years ago and we were the best of friends. I cared for her for 6 months as she was dying, and I curled up in bed with her stroking her proud forehead during her last moments of life, whispering "I love you mama."
I lost my husband 1 year ago very unexpectedly. No chance to say goodbye, or say "i love you sweetheart," one last time. The shock and grief overwhelmed me.
After this and the depression that followed, my horse and my dog literally saved my life. If it wasn't for their companionship I fear I would have been lost in the abyss. They gave me a reason to keep living even though the grief was almost too much to bear having lost SO much in such a short span of time.
I lost my beautiful dog, Boo, 6 months ago. I raised her from a pup and she was 14.5 years old when she died. She was my "surrogate daughter" since I had 6 miscarriages and no babies of my own. Again, my horse saved my life. I don't know where I'd be right now if it hadn't been for his gentle companionship and steadfast friendship.
My best friend, Khaiyaann, has been very ill lately. He almost died 10 days ago. He's 25 1/2 years old now and I know that his time is coming. I know that in the not too distant future I will be grieving his loss just as you are grieving, with a huge hole in my chest that nothing can fill but my sweet gentleman gelding.
I am so sorry for your loss Barry, and you are not alone in the abyss of grief and despair. But the love and trust and deep connection that you 2 shared is not lost forever in the sands of time. The love that you shared brought beauty into our world, for however long or however brief, and made this place a little better off because of it.
I wish you peace, and solace, and healing. You have my prayers.If it gets to be too much, please see your MD to talk about it. I did. And it helped me survive.