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The struggle draws to a close

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        08-13-2012, 08:52 AM
      #71
    Yearling
    I've just read all this now, tears streaming down my face and completely in awe with yourself, your story and have always admired DiDi whenever I saw her on this forum. I'm too speechless to form anything appropriate, but I have complete respect and admiration for you.

    And as a fellow writer, I urge you to search with your pen firmly in your hand for a way to be published. You are an inspiration and a true talent to find.
    I wish I could say more, but I'm just so wrapped up in the world you've offered for us all to take a look at. The imagery is powerful and overwhelming, much like DiDi was on your life.

    Although it's hardly relateable to horses, I just lost my Father suddenly in a car accident. So I can understand the frustrations of paper work with insurers, and knowing his will is being sorted, I just wish I could shove the money at someone and beg for my Dad instead. I guess that's why the tears are still running so freely.

    Take care and I'm so sorry for your loss.
         
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        08-13-2012, 12:03 PM
      #72
    Guest
    Ohmy. Thank you for your kind words.
    Please accept my own condolences to you for the loss of your Dad.

    The sad truth is that sooner or later, all of we humans have to cope with the loss of a soul mate, Then we quickly discover that the void left by his,her or it's passing leaves, can be impossible to fill. However as long as the memory of that soul mate lives on in our mind, then they have not yet passed on and left us for ever - have they? We can still talk to them. The only difference is that they never answer back. Although after a time, that doesn't seem to matter.

    As for your point about publishing , I've considered the idea be it traditional, or by self publishing. As yet I can't see how it will improve on what I have here on HF. We HF members are mostly of similar persuasion in the matter of horses and already I feel that in numerous cases I know the person at the other end of the keyboard. What would a blog or a computorised book give me that I don't enjoy already?

    And as for a traditional bound book - I fear that with the advance of the internet they may be going a similar route towards redundancy as newspapers.
    No, all matters considered, I shall bide my time on blogs & publication for the moment.

    With DiDi now gone, maybe I'll have to think up some 'fiction' rather than relate fact under 'non-fiction'. DiDi is unlikely to give up residence in my head, so she might just as well earn her keep by provoking my imagination. Then there are all those other true stories about other horses which I haven't told you yet.

    See, I have no reason to be depressed. I just need some time.

    Barry G
         
        08-13-2012, 01:10 PM
      #73
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Barry Godden    

    And as for a traditional bound book - I fear that with the advance of the internet they may be going a similar route towards redundancy as newspapers.
    No, all matters considered, I shall bide my time on blogs & publication for the moment.

    With DiDi now gone, maybe I'll have to think up some 'fiction' rather than relate fact under 'non-fiction'. DiDi is unlikely to give up residence in my head, so she might just as well earn her keep by provoking my imagination. Then there are all those other true stories about other horses which I haven't told you yet.

    See, I have no reason to be depressed. I just need some time.

    Barry G
    then I will wait and look forward to reading your stories on here..may be selfish of me to ask..but please don't wait too long..Kay?!
         
        08-13-2012, 10:44 PM
      #74
    Green Broke
    Barry, I going to tell you the story of why we have horses. I don't share this often and like you, well it brings back lots of memories and the emotions that go with it.

    My wife of 28 years had a son named Greg. He was my stepson and although not my blood, I raised him from age six and I loved him like he was mine.

    About 5 years ago I was away for work, in Atlanta, when my wife called. She could barely talk, crying like a baby. Her only child, her wonderful son, was dead at 31.

    She quit her job and sat in her chair, not the passionate woman I married but rather, someone who lost her will to go on. She didn't move for days and days turned into weeks, weeks into months. I though she was just going to sit in that chair and wait to die herself.

    She had always wanted a horse and we had a couple of horses some twenty years in the past and I was desperate to find something to heal her heart. So I bought her a colt at 4 days old. She visited him several times a week until he was old enough to bring home.

    When we got Jack, her colt, she met some other gals who asked her to ride with them and needless to say she didn't have a horse to ride, so, she got Sonny.

    Well, she got to having so much fun that she decided I should join them, so, I thought if I must I'm going to ride a Cadillac, so I bought my walking mare Lacy. Lacy and I didn't hit it off immediately, but slowly, over time, we worked though her issues and wow, I never dreamed I'd love a horse so much.

    I know the pain this is causing you because I've been to the depths of despair myself.

    So, how do you heal a broken heart? With a horse. My wife will never be the same, but she's enjoying life again, and we ride most every weekend except for the hottest months of the summer.

    She's passionate about her horses, and the spark is slowly returning.

    So, how do you heal a broken heart? With a horse. Your heart will heal in time. How long is time? That's up to you but I know that it's possible for you to re-kindle the passion you have for DiDi. No, there will never be another DiDi.

    I know there is a horse that's just waiting for someone like you to care for it. Who knows, it might steal your heart just like DiDi did. I guess that's up to you.
         
        08-13-2012, 11:11 PM
      #75
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by gunslinger    
    Barry, I going to tell you the story of why we have horses. I don't share this often and like you, well it brings back lots of memories and the emotions that go with it.

    My wife of 28 years had a son named Greg. He was my stepson and although not my blood, I raised him from age six and I loved him like he was mine.

    About 5 years ago I was away for work, in Atlanta, when my wife called. She could barely talk, crying like a baby. Her only child, her wonderful son, was dead at 31.

    She quit her job and sat in her chair, not the passionate woman I married but rather, someone who lost her will to go on. She didn't move for days and days turned into weeks, weeks into months. I though she was just going to sit in that chair and wait to die herself.

    She had always wanted a horse and we had a couple of horses some twenty years in the past and I was desperate to find something to heal her heart. So I bought her a colt at 4 days old. She visited him several times a week until he was old enough to bring home.

    When we got Jack, her colt, she met some other gals who asked her to ride with them and needless to say she didn't have a horse to ride, so, she got Sonny.

    Well, she got to having so much fun that she decided I should join them, so, I thought if I must I'm going to ride a Cadillac, so I bought my walking mare Lacy. Lacy and I didn't hit it off immediately, but slowly, over time, we worked though her issues and wow, I never dreamed I'd love a horse so much.

    I know the pain this is causing you because I've been to the depths of despair myself.

    So, how do you heal a broken heart? With a horse. My wife will never be the same, but she's enjoying life again, and we ride most every weekend except for the hottest months of the summer.

    She's passionate about her horses, and the spark is slowly returning.

    So, how do you heal a broken heart? With a horse. Your heart will heal in time. How long is time? That's up to you but I know that it's possible for you to re-kindle the passion you have for DiDi. No, there will never be another DiDi.

    I know there is a horse that's just waiting for someone like you to care for it. Who knows, it might steal your heart just like DiDi did. I guess that's up to you.
    beautifully said Gunslinger. Blessings to you and your wife for the loss of your son
         
        08-14-2012, 06:18 AM
      #76
    Guest
    Guns - you tell an emotional story and I am sure that if we lived close together we would become good friends.

    What you say about some horses having the ability to fill a void in a person's life is very true. I have witnessed examples so often. In the livery yard which adjoins my property I can name at least four women who perhaps keep a horse as an alternative to forming a relationship with a person. I can understand why.

    Presently there are some situations revolving around the young female friend of mine who trained DiDi for competitive dressage. Hers is a sad tale and it has to be resolved. It is her story to tell, not mine. But there are four horses involved and one other which left the group and which may now return. There might be a role for me there.

    I am a great believer that if they are given a chance animals find their humans - if they are given the chance. My key problems at this moment are to find a 'cure' for my own health issues, two of which inhibit me from climbing up into the saddle. My spine is bent and my sleep pattern is utterly disturbed.

    As you guessed my wife of 47 years is not keen to see me take on a new horse. She doesn't think I am fit- physically or mentally- to take on the responsibility.
    Time may bring a solution to these issues. We shall see.

    At this moment there is no immediate decision for me to make - so I am not going to make one.

    But thank you for your concern. I recognise my problems and I am working on finding cures.

    Talk with you later.
    Barry
         
        09-10-2012, 10:04 AM
      #77
    Guest
    What might have been

    An update of news:

    It was my stuntman friend’s 80th birthday and his celebratory party was held at my friends property - she was the one who takes in retired horses and who had offered to take in DiDi at the end. It was a beautiful day, even though my wife and I had spent some six hours driving across to her place and back. We had a delightful lunch and spent almost five hours gossiping about the past. With hindsight most of the afternoon was spent talking about the horses which we have owned and known. I had taken a photograph album across to jog the memories of all present. Anyway, my stuntman friend has numerous anecdotes to tell of his past life amongst horses and film stars but I cannot yet persuade him to let me ghostwrite the book. He claims to know too many secrets - as well he might.

    DiDi was not on the discussion list, even though this very homestead was the one in which she would have spent her last days. Before we left the party, I had to say ‘Goodbye’ to my friend and of course it was appropriate for me to say to her: “Thank you for your kind offer to take DiDi in“. I barely managed to get the words out, when my face started to pucker up again and my eyes began to water. For a couple of moments, yet again for the umpteenth time, I couldn’t speak.

    We had just spent a beautiful sunny afternoon, amidst a lush green valley surrounded by all of nature’s beauty. Home Counties England can be a glorious setting for any house, particularly if there is a fast flowing stream running at the end of a striped plush lawn which feeds into a large fish pond aerated by a tall tinkling fountain. The sixteen century house itself is quite splendid but today it was the delight of the patio, over looking most of the tree studded valley, which made the day memorable. Apart from the chatter of the guests the only noise had been that of the wild birds.

    Before I left my friend took me to one side and said that both she and her husband, who are both recently retired, had officially marked me down in their Wills to look after their animals should there ever be a need. At any one time amongst the menagerie living on the property there are horses, dogs,
    chickens, ducks and numerous wild visitors such as deer, foxes, hares and rabbits. All of these creatures recognise this quiet property as a place of sanctuary. I replied “of course - I’d be honoured“. On the way home I mused over the responsibility which had been passed over to me.

    But what a day it might have been if only DiDi had been grazing in the nearby pasture which had been allocated to her in the event that she could have made the journey to this beautiful place.
         
        09-10-2012, 01:24 PM
      #78
    Yearling
    Barry,

    I just want to give you a BIG hug!! I've never met you, basically never even had a conversation with, but yet know a very small piece of you, and therefore like others here, I want to make it all better for you.

    There are many amazing stories here of how others have coped with their losses. All are similiar and just as important in their own way, though not the same as yours. Someday, you will tell the story of DiDi & yourself to another who has lost, and it will be similiar and just as important in it's own way, yet not the same as the others loss. And I just know that you know this.

    I'm going to probably insert my foot into my mouth here, but you say your body seems to be failing you in a sense. My question is, how is that different from a "younger" person who's body has failed them? Yet, they still find a way to enjoy the "physical" activities in their life that bring them joy. They just make the approriate accomidations. My mom can barely use her left knee, so she mounts on the off side and rides a shorter horse. My cousin has to many responsiblities right now to give full time care to a horse, so she volunteers at the local equine rescue. Both make adjustments accordingly, and bring happiness to themselves and to a horse, even if not every day.

    I know we've all been saying to "get right back on the horse". And from what I understand (maybe I'm wrong), but going near a horse brings to many emotions, which makes you at times uncomfortable. But have you ever considered that maybe they are the ones that will listen & understand best? Who's to say that a 4-legged fuzzy hay burner's mane makes the best tissue. They could care less if you get snot all over it;). It doesn't need to be your fuzzy, or even a friends, sometimes talking to a stranger is the most helpful (umm, we are on an internet forum:), we just aren't fuzzy...I think.

    Those fuzzy's have been there, and yet they let you feel your emotions without judgement or feedback. They stand there and allow us to let it out of our system, as if to say "go ahead, let it out. Blow your nose on me, hang onto me like never before. Because I know that you feel this way because my kind is loved by you. And no 2-legged animal can give you the medicine to help, but I can in the way I smell, the way I feel, the way I breath, the way I move my body so you can feel me holding onto you. I can't cure what makes you hurt, but I will try harder than anyone you have met to make it better a little at a time."
         
        09-10-2012, 02:04 PM
      #79
    Guest
    Busy
    Horses have this unique ability to hurt those who care - even unwittingly.

    On the yard which adjoins our property, an absolutely stunning warmblood x mare was kicked the other day by a 17 hand hunter. There was no reason why they should ever have met. "A gate had come open" - so someone said. The leg swelled up and when the vet was first called, he gave the horse a full two hours of his time.
    When 24 hours later the horse showed signs of colic he came back, and back and back - four times in one day. Incredible service. He knew the little horse might not make it.

    Today the horse though starving is hanging on. It is walking about - it's a little stiff but otherwise OK. The owner dare not feed her more than a handful of hay,once opon every hour. That same vet has revisited the yard twice because the mare is something special. She has an exceptional temperament and she is only three and has not yet been backed. Her life lies before her and has yet to be experienced - if ever she gets the chance.

    The vet's bill will be enormous because of the numerous visits, the inspections, the injections, the bandages - the tender loving care and this time from a complete stranger - a rather special male vet who wears a pig tail and who drives a battered, bent old van.

    In this horse game, emotion comes at you from all directions.

    The little mare ls indeed something very special. And she is going through all this commotion because some incompetent, useless idiot left a gate open -he/she probably did not bother to check the catch on the field gate.

    As a result this little bay horse will bear the scars of incompetence for the rest of her life - if she makes it.

    When will these idiot people learn?
         
        09-10-2012, 02:30 PM
      #80
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Barry Godden    
    Busy
    Horses have this unique ability to hurt those who care - even unwittingly.

    On the yard which adjoins our property, an absolutely stunning warmblood x mare was kicked the other day by a 17 hand hunter. There was no reason why they should ever have met. "A gate had come open" - so someone said. The leg swelled up and when the vet was first called, he gave the horse a full two hours of his time.
    When 24 hours later the horse showed signs of colic he came back, and back and back - four times in one day. Incredible service. He knew the little horse might not make it.

    Today the horse though starving is hanging on. It is walking about - it's a little stiff but otherwise OK. The owner dare not feed her more than a handful of hay,once opon every hour. That same vet has revisited the yard twice because the mare is something special. She has an exceptional temperament and she is only three and has not yet been backed. Her life lies before her and has yet to be experienced - if ever she gets the chance.

    The vet's bill will be enormous because of the numerous visits, the inspections, the injections, the bandages - the tender loving care and this time from a complete stranger - a rather special male vet who wears a pig tail and who drives a battered, bent old van.

    In this horse game, emotion comes at you from all directions.

    The little mare ls indeed something very special. And she is going through all this commotion because some incompetent, useless idiot left a gate open -he/she probably did not bother to check the catch on the field gate.

    As a result this little bay horse will bear the scars of incompetence for the rest of her life - if she makes it.

    When will these idiot people learn?
    I COMPLETELY agree w/ everything you said! But one must admit, they also make AMAZING tissues & snot rags. And they don't ask what type of relationship you have with your wife, mother, father.

    For every heartache and pain they (horses in general) have caused us (those who care for them, they have the ability to heal wounds as well....if we allow them to. Otherwise, why would we be willing to give them our money, our time, at times our trust, ourselves if the ONLY thing they did was hurt us?

    It's up to those of us, who like yourself, are most hurt by any injustice to them (mistreatment, injury, illness, or death) to allow them to be what they are meant to be, a teacher, a friend, a healer.

    I learned a long time ago, the world is not all kind or fair (you of course know this), but no matter how mistreated a horse has been in the past, they know when those who are kind at heart need them most. There's no guarantee they will act the same when you ask something of them physical, but they will listen when we ask something of their heart.
         

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