You're very welcome.
As far as not wanting another horse, you may find that you're not complete without one.
When I had to put Conny down I stumbled around for awhile, trying to figure out who I was without him. I'd identified with being his
rider, owner and companion for so long, that I didn't know who I was when he was no longer there to anchor my world.
I had two other horses who needed me, but I'll be honest; I was ANGRY that it wasn't one of them I'd lost instead of him. Why my heart horse? Why not one of the others?
It took me a long time to admit that to myself, much less anyone else. Not my finest or most noble time.
The pain does get better, I promise. Not soon, and there's no timetable I can give you, but it will. One of these days you'll be able to laugh at all the lovely memories you have, instead of crying over them.
I have three horses again, and although none of them will ever take Conny's place in my heart, they all have a place that's their own. The human heart is an amazing organ. When we think we don't have room to love again after being hurt so badly, it will find space to let others in.
JJ especially has been instrumental in helping me heal, because although he's nothing like Conny in looks, temperament or even breed, he has a certain spark that reminds me of my boy.
Never say never. There are plenty, in fact far too many, horses out there looking for their own human. None of them will be Bink, but that's okay. The places he had in your heart and soul were his, and nobody will ever fill them. But if you let yourself, when you're ready, you'll find that you really do have a place for another.
It's rough, but pain is the price we pay for having these magnificent creatures in our life. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.
There's no way I would have missed that 21 year dance for anything, and I've gladly paid the price.
You don't feel that way now, but you will. God bless.