Today was amazing. I was given critique on my hands by tinyliny and so I worked really hard to get them up and not brace so much... I got instant results! Honey never argued once with me, except about wanting to canter, and we were trotting for quite a bit. She really got into it, and I wanted to make the trot consistent and then worry about slowing it down for another ride. I really worked my core too as my stomach/core muscles are all WIDE AWAKE haha! It was brilliant, I just need to work on lengthening my rein on her STILL. But we'll get there. She does need a bit change, and she will be getting one in a few weeks when I have some spare $$.
Despite being a grumpy moo towards the boys watching on, she never stopped to be sour/nappy towards them, so I'm happy!
I hope I can be of inspiration for you. It took me 2yrs to really get stuck back in and give myself the chance to succeed. I've only just headed back to where I fell off. It's always going to be known as "the spot" ... but I'm already doing well to be like "yeah, but it's also somewhere I'm staying on now." I hope that when you're ready to, that you find some confidence, and put trust in your horse. It's what I've had to do. And yeah, Honey is scared too. She was traumatised from our accident, but together we're mucking about and getting there.