I lost a horse this year too, and it was one of the most painful experiences I have ever endured. He didn't die of old age either, which made it so much harder. I still miss him every single day; we had quite the journey together in the 3 years I owned him. He went from a totally scared inconfident horse, to one that was soft, and willing, and calm through most situations; he was the best trail horse I have owned so far, and anyone could ride him.
Im so sorry for your losses
i started tearing up reading this.
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