Being Niave is no exscuse?

Fairly recently one of my friend's horses passed away because of something that she did. We couldn't get him to trailer, I spent five hours with the horse going at his pace with no success and another friend and I suggested ground work. Well, the ground work was never done, and when she wanted to sell him she tried to force him into the trailer. He reared up and went back TWICE and somehow ended up twisting a gut and got collic. He didn't make it through the night.

She's been a friend of mine for years and I know that she didn't mean for anything to happen to him but I just don't know how or if I can ever forgive her. The whole situation was preventable and I feel that perhaps if I had tried to make more time to help her I could have saved this horse.

What do you mean by, 'reared up and went back twice'? Do you mean he reared up and fell over backwards?

Even if he fell over completely, you have no way of knowing if that had anything to do with him having a twist. Even a vet wouldn't be able to say for certain what caused it.

Plus, I'm not sure why you think it should have been your responsibility to train this horse. There's no guarantee the horse wouldn't have colicked and died regardless of any training.

If you don't want to be friends with this person anymore that's your business, but I'm not sure you're unfriending her for the right reason.

Yeah sorry I meant that he fell back. All I know is that she said the vet came out and said he had twisted a gut and gave him some painkillers. This is the same person who almost let him become emaciated and when she finally contacted me for help it took weeks to get his weight back up. I only feel responsible because I had helped her out a few times previously and after I picked up my second job I didn't have time to go out there anymore. Maybe if I had made some more time we could have safely worked on getting him into a trailer and avoided the situation. I don't know if the rearing or the stress caused the colic or if it was something else entirely, but in the five hours that I had worked with him before he never flipped over and once he was done we stopped, we didn't push him, we let him do it at his own pace. I have never seen a horse refuse to trailer like this one did.

I have seen plenty of horses that refuse to be put in a trailer. I have also seen plenty of people try and force them in. It's a mistake many folks make.

I feel sorry for your friend and I hate that she lost her horse. Colic can happen to any of our horses at any time. I think instead of being mad at your friend, you should offer your support. She probably needs it right now.

Don't go beating yourself up for something you couldn't control. A twisted gut happens even when nothing has happened and the horse is snoozing. A British research paper stated that it is the length of the gut and that fact that it's floating is why it can twist. He may have reared because of the sudden extremely intense pain. They do react violently. No one could have prevented this.

Colic happens. It does not require poor care and I have pretty much never heard anyone blame it on lack of training.

Lots of horses do not load into trailers. Even horses who are trained and have been doing it for eons can have a bad day and not load.


It sounds like you simply do not want to be friends with this person anymore and you are trying to make reasons to justify that.
Reasons are not required. Just let the friendship end.
Do not turn it into a long list of everything this person does wrong. It is far to easy to see the wrong in a person we do not want to like. Wrong that is not always there.