A friend doesn't get it
Now, I really don't know how to start....so let me tell you a bit about me....
[ Warning -- this is a long rant, but it does have an end point ]
I am a massive pacifist. I cannot tell people what they are doing wrong, I cannot do anything that might hurt a person's feelings. For a few situations I have managed to nicely say my opinion, but thats rare.
Now, I have this friend. And this friend ( lets call her pat ) thinks she knows EVERYTHING there is about horses. She is 17 and she has ridden a total of 5 weeks in her life ( 1 week every year at camp). She believes she can ride any horse and she believes she can control any horse, because she can ride and take care of a camp horse. And pat is quite "aggressive" she has a strong voice and if she wants to say something, it doesn't matter if my little mouse voice was already in the middle of a sentence. ( but she means well and she really thinks she's being a conversationalist and thinks she's being nice) anywho, so she has 3 horses. all of which ( i believe) she cannot care for.
the first is Toby. Toby is a 7 yr old EXCEEDINGLY green appendix quarter horse. Now, pat believes that with his 3 months of training ( which took place 3 years ago) she will be able to ride him and she has great plans to take him out on the trails and blah blah blah. But now, that has all changed. He has thrush. the day after she told me she had thrush i went out and bought her some thrush medicine. And I purposly got stuff that worked in both wet & dry conditions ( since her pens are all muddy ). So I gave that to her. Its been 2 months. and Pat is using the excuse that its too wet. and now she says she's not even going to use it because she believes his thrush is magically going to cure it's self. I've looked at his hooves. I wouldn't be surprised if they are rotting. she doesn't have much money. She wants to get a $20 farrier, and she believes that this cheap farrier will be able to fix her horses hooves. I know this will not work. And guess what? she is now telling me that he's fine and blah blah blah and she just waves that issue off. And now she says " well he's more of my dad's horse, so i might be getting a morgan!"
So lets move on to the 2 miniture ponies. She has 1 stallion [king] and 1 pregnant mare [ roxy ]. Lets start with saying that both are foundered, and pretty much wild, they have never had their hoofs done. Roxy is pregnant, and pat has no idea how far along she is, she has no shelter, and she thinks that this wild pony will let her come close to the foal. So i am very worried about the foal, when ( and if he survives ) the birth, pat is not prepared to change the fencing ( there is a known cyote den in the ponies field) and she isn't a trainer, she doesn't relieze that a wild mother will protect her foal. besides the foal, Roxy has an EXCEEDINGLY small halter on her, and it's starting to dig into her skin. Pat can't get close to her, and says that if she takes it off she will never get it back on.
Anywho, King, the stallion, is in the same condition. he has a small halter on, and is slightly more tame, but still wild. He is foundered and has never had his hooves done.
Now that pat wants this new horse, I am afraid that the same thing will happen -- she is going to buy a cheap barely trained horse, expect to be able to ride this horse just like a camp horse, and she is going to try to ride, get hurt, spend a bit more time with the horse, and do nothing else.
Being a pacifist, I cannot tell her this. She will not listen to me, and if i try to tell her she will talk over me and make excuses. I feel terrible by not being able to tell her this and help her horses. But its hard, she is a friend, and telling her all this will ruin our friendship, and make it impossible to be with my social group.
this is the lesson to be learned--
Horses are expensive. If you don't have to money to give them a good home and proper care, do not keep buying them with no plans. These horses do not have a future. Toby is lame, I wouldn't be surprised if he becomes unable to walk. And what will become of him? those ponies are in pain and will never have a future in pat's hands.
Horses are living creatures. If you are going to buy one, make sure you can give them the life and respect they deserve.
If you made it to the end of this rant, good job!
If anyone has any ideas on how i should tell pat about this, or how I should go about taking action in this situation, please feel free to tell me!
I would also like to here your opinion on this situation or if you have ever been in it yourself.