My essay on Horse Slaughter - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 100 Old 03-07-2012, 11:29 PM
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Originally Posted by crimson88 View Post
In case you were wondering, I do have the highest GPA in my class, and my instructor suggested I take WR122 next term. That is five courses above my current course. I am also on honor-role.
Shouldn't that be "honor roll"?
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post #32 of 100 Old 03-07-2012, 11:35 PM
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No, it's honor role..
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post #33 of 100 Old 03-08-2012, 10:02 AM
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Great essay, I agree with a lot of it but you could definitely be using some commas instead of periods in some places. Sorry if you didn't want any kind of critique, I'm just an English nerd :)
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No, it's honor role..
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and here is yet another shining example of the quality of education received by students today!
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post #34 of 100 Old 03-08-2012, 10:11 AM
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well this has turned in to a english lesson

ride a draft and see the world differently
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post #35 of 100 Old 03-08-2012, 10:12 AM
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well this has turned in to a english lesson
An English lesson.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #36 of 100 Old 03-08-2012, 10:24 AM
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thank you I need all the help I can get

ride a draft and see the world differently
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post #37 of 100 Old 03-08-2012, 10:26 AM
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Any time, duffy.

Oh, and it's honor ROLL. 'Roll' in this case means list. 'Role' is a part played by an actor.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!

Last edited by tinyliny; 03-08-2012 at 01:42 PM. Reason: Removed cutting and unnecessary remark
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post #38 of 100 Old 03-08-2012, 11:25 AM
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All horses deserve, at least once in their lives, to be loved by a little girl.
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post #39 of 100 Old 03-08-2012, 12:12 PM Thread Starter
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Id like to thank everyone for their input. I had the tutor look at it yesterday and she helped me with my comma problems. She apparently has owned horses in the past and liked my message I am trying to send. She thought I should take out the first beginning paragraphs (Not the introduction but the following paragraphs after that) and get right to the point of slaughter, but I just left them in. I turned it in and I should get it back next week or so.
Just so you all know, I am not a student at a university. I am an 18 year old who just graduated high school and am now going to a community college for my pre-reqs. I do, at some point, hope to be able to go to a university. I know I am not the greatest writer or student, but I was placed into the wrong course for my level. I currently am in WR90 (which mainly covers dangling modifiers, parallel structure, joining ideas, organizations, coherence, conventions, and critical thinking) and my instructor told me I need to take WR122 (which is an advanced writing/English course) . I am a part time student and I currently take three courses, and I currently have two As and a B.
Again thank-you for all of your input, everything is food for thought.

KEEP HORSES IN THE STABLE & OFF THE TABLE !!!!! ♥♥♥
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post #40 of 100 Old 03-08-2012, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by crimson88 View Post
I’d like to thank everyone for their input. I had the tutor look at it yesterday and she helped me with my comma problems. She apparently has owned horses in the past and liked my message I am trying to send. She thought I should take out the first beginning paragraphs (Not the introduction but the following paragraphs after that) and get right to the point of slaughter, but I just left them in. I turned it in and I should get it back next week or so.
Just so you all know, I am not a student at a university. I am an 18 year old who just graduated high school and am now going to a community college for my pre-reqs. I do, at some point, hope to be able to go to a university. I know I am not the greatest writer or student, but I was placed into the wrong course for my level. I currently am in WR90 (which mainly covers dangling modifiers, parallel structure, joining ideas, organizations, coherence, conventions, and critical thinking) and my instructor told me I need to take WR122 (which is an advanced writing/English course) . I am a part time student and I currently take three courses, and I currently have two A’s and a B.
Again thank-you for all of your input, everything is food for thought.
Well all the best to you and I wish you well in your quest to get into university! I also wanted to add that we all go through a steep learning curve in the transition between high school and university. I know I did

Also, we all make mistakes and have areas that we want to improve on, the important thing is that we're aware of what needs work. For example, I am guilty of adding in errant appostrophes and can be wild with my capitalization. It takes me 3-4 drafts before I consider any of my work worth submitting (whether it is for academic or career purposes) and I always try to get at least one or two outsiders to draft my work and get feedback on grammar, flow and overall structure.

It's **** hard work but the more you do it, the better you become! Trust me I have had some hard critiques in the past but they are the ones that you learn the most from. I also remember the people who critique the harshest and will seek their opinion first as I know that they don't hold back and their comments will be the most beneficial.

I teach a couple of classes at university level these days and see the full spectrum in terms of quality responses and critical thinking. The most rewarding students to teach are not necessarily those at the top of the class; it is the students that show the most improvement that deserve the biggest commendation because you can be sure that they slaved their butts off trying to improve.

Hang in there!
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All horses deserve, at least once in their lives, to be loved by a little girl.

Last edited by sarahver; 03-08-2012 at 02:09 PM.
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