critique my ad please
 
 

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critique my ad please

This is a discussion on critique my ad please within the Horse Riding Critique forums, part of the Riding Horses category

     
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        01-22-2010, 05:16 PM
      #1
    Foal
    critique my ad please

    This is Molly. She is approximately 15 y/o and 14.5-15hh. She’s current on her vaccs, coggins, and teeth floating. Her registration papers could not be located.

    We bought Molly as a beginner safe horse, and at the time of purchase she sure seemed to be. However, one week after bringing her home she was a bit of a different horse. She’s a breeze to catch and halter, ties and tacks quietly, takes her bit with no fight what so ever, and lifts all four hooves for cleaning. She’s got a nice paced walk and is gorgeous to watch trot up to you. She just doesn’t seem to want you in the saddle. Molly seems to have a decent foundation she just needs an owner that knows horses to give her a tune up and remind her of her manners, and we are very unfortunately not that home. Asking $450. If you would like to take a closer look at Molly please e-mail us. Thanks.

    This is the ad I am posting on both equinenow and craigs list. What do you think? I want it to be known that she needs a tune up, but isn't all bad. She's just not the beginner horse we thought we were getting. Thanks ya'll. (Molly is the horse my my profile pic.)
         
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        01-22-2010, 05:21 PM
      #2
    Yearling
    No such thing as a 14.5 hh horse ;)
         
        01-22-2010, 05:28 PM
      #3
    Foal
    She's taller the 14 but not quite 15. How do I put that?
         
        01-22-2010, 05:31 PM
      #4
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Horse Dreamer    
    she's taller the 14 but not quite 15. How do I put that?
    I would say 14.3-15 hands
         
        01-22-2010, 05:32 PM
      #5
    Yearling
    14.3

    Hands are measured in 4" increments.
         
        01-22-2010, 05:32 PM
      #6
    Green Broke
    I'd say 14.3

    That's almost 15hh but not quite.

    I would put something about how she is a good project horse candidate for an experienced handler and may make a good *insert discipline here* horse in the future as she seems to have a sweet and willing personality.

    I wouldn't put the bit in about her not wanting anyone in the saddle. Say she's for an experienced handler only and if they contact you for further information then tell them her issues. Saying that outright will turn a lot of good people away because of the way it is stated.
         
        01-22-2010, 05:38 PM
      #7
    Foal
    Okay, see learn something new everyday. Keep the info coming and I will type something new up and see what ya'll think. Thank you!
         
        01-22-2010, 07:40 PM
      #8
    Foal
    update.


    This is Molly. She is approximately 15 y/o and 14.3-15hh. She’s current on her vaccs, coggins, and teeth floating. Her registration papers could not be located.

    We bought Molly as a beginner safe horse. However, after bringing her home we discovered that she was way more horse than we were ready for. She’s a breeze to catch and halter, ties and tacks quietly, takes her bit with no fight what so ever, and lifts all four hooves for cleaning. She’s got a nice paced walk and is gorgeous to watch trot up to you. Molly seems to have a decent foundation she just needs an owner that knows horses to give her a tune up and remind her of her manners, and we are very unfortunately not that home. For experience horsepersons, not a beginner. Have had a trainer out and she thinks Molly would make someone a good cow horse. Asking $450. If you would like to take a closer look at Molly please give us a call at XXX-XXXX. Thanks.
         
        01-22-2010, 08:42 PM
      #9
    Trained
    Sounds pretty good to me! I hope you are able to sell her.
         
        01-22-2010, 08:42 PM
      #10
    Weanling
    The updated version sounds a lot better than the original! It still needs a bit more detail, though. I'll put in my two cents here, with an example.


    Here's a list of things I'd include in a sale advert;
    • Basic information, like breed, height, colour, etcetera.
    • Notes about conformation, potential, talent, past life.
    • Who the horse would be suitable and unsuitable for.
    • Notes about keeping, feeding, ground manners, etcetera.
    • Reasons for selling.
    • Pictures. Good, focused, useful pictures. You don't necessarily need to pay for adding pictures to an ad on, say, Horsetopia either, but you can instead provide a link to a Photobucket album.
    • If you can, make a video and link to it.
    • All in detail, but not stupid detail. Example of stupid detail: "Bobby has no buck. He only bucked once, maybe twice. Three times, I guess. When he was five years-old. But a chicken ran across his path and scared him so he bucked! And the other times his forelock was tickling him." Reading ads like these make buyers question things.
    Here's Otis' sale advert, from back when he was rideable.

    Quote:
    Eye-Catching Large Pony Seeks a Trainer or Experienced Rider to Bring Out Full Potential.





    Otis is an athletic eight year-old Welsh Quarter Horse cross who stands at 14.1hh. He displays correct conformation and movement and would be suitable for either dressage or jumpers with more training. Otis would do well in a full time training program as he needs to be ridden regularly. Due to having inconsistent and abusive training before we owned him, he is being re-worked on the flat, but needs more experience before being started over fences again if jumping is the direction you want to take him. Because of this, Otis requires a knowledgeable and experienced rider who can give him the consistent training he deserves. He was, however, schooled up to 3'6" in the past, with a very well-scoped jump.
    At this time, Otis is not suitable for children or beginner riders.

    This large pony is an easy keeper, never lame and lives easily outdoors in herd environment. Otis is equally adaptable to a stall environment, having been stalled in the past. Otis also boasts exceptional ground manners, clipping, bathing, farrier/vet, and trailering pose no problems for Otis. He has never needed shoes.

    We are selling him due to time constraints, I simply do not have the time to give this pony the consistent training that he needs. He is a smart, well mannered pony who just needs to find someone who can work with him.

    Otis is located in Calgary AB.
    Contact for more information & photos.

    Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftYixdRW8LA
         

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