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critique my selling ad?

2K views 20 replies 13 participants last post by  franknbeans 
#1 ·
Hi.
I am trying to sell my horse Cole & get lots of questions but no takers. He has the moves, blood, & mind...he isin training(being started) any suggestions on how to get him sold? I am a new mom who works full time, thought I could do it all but can't so I have to sell Cole.

He is on dreamhorse.com. terron my art out

I am on my phone & it won't let me put the link to the above, I will come back later, but for those who don't mind doing the search.....any advise (or offers!) Would help.

Thanks
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#2 ·
Spell check. No abbreviations or short cuts in verbage. Leaves too much room for misunderstanding.

I would also advise to not use the 'no time' reason for selling when you also say he is laid back and easy to work with.

Post ONE video link and offer the buyer can contact you for more. That would open the lines of communication.
 
#3 ·
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Ok so I looked over your add, and these are the things that pop out to me.
First of all the pictures doesn't do justice to the horse at all. A bad angle kind of makes his hindquarters look awkward. Pictures are so important because they draw the eye and interest. Good conformation pictures, (both sides, front shot, hindquarters, and head shot will be vital.) You have a beautiful horse but because he is a solid and not very good photos he will not attract much attention. You have to make sure the add stands out. Its kind of like the black dog tragedy...... So the point, make him stand out! Get good pictures that show what a great animal he is.

Secondly, people always hesitate when they see that a horse is "started". Started can mean so many things, just depends on the person. You need to prove that he has been ridden (photos) and that he is well on his way to being a great mount. There are alot of people out there peddling supposed "started" colts.

Provide more info on him, whats his barn name? people like to have a name to remember... aka ( oh yeah, Max was that pretty black Paint warmblood) just an example. Include any attitude attributes, show history of his parents.
You have a nice colt and with just some minor improvements your add will draw a lot of attention. Pictures, Pictures, pictures! Remember first impressions are so important, so make them good! There are thousands of horses for sale, you have to stand out to get noticed.:-p
 
#4 ·
Secondly, people always hesitate when they see that a horse is "started". Started can mean so many things, just depends on the person. You need to prove that he has been ridden (photos) and that he is well on his way to being a great mount. There are alot of people out there peddling supposed "started" colts. I can't say it would cause me to hesitate - it would put a youngster in the 'maybe' column for me instead of the 'no'.

Provide more info on him, whats his barn name? people like to have a name to remember... aka ( oh yeah, Max was that pretty black Paint warmblood) just an example. Include any attitude attributes, show history of his parents. Barn name? Seriously? I really like his registered name.

TOO much information can be over whelming. I stopped reading part ways into the description. The way it was typed - it all ran together. More exact information - facts instead of feeling.
 
#5 ·
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In response, I see that his name is Cole so anyway his barn name was included:oops: In the Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa area horses can be very hard to sell right now. Unfortunately for solid horses, paints and solids with chrome (stockings... etc) are selling faster. This colt has a lot of wonderful breeding and attributes, but as with anything it is all in the advertising. And I do agree with you that the add did run all together. So maybe she should summerize the horse and his wonderful qualities. Me however, I personally like as much information as possible. Buying a horse is potentially risky so the more info I recieve the better!:D
 
#6 ·
The ad was hard to read. Spell, grammar, and punctuation check are always important, and spacing out information makes it less of a headache.

More information on exactly what he has done, what he's been exposed to, and what he's currently doing is what prospective buyers want to know. You said that he has been ridden since April 4th. Well, what has she taught him? Leg aids, walking forward, backing? Get a video of him under saddle and being ridden.

I hope he finds a great home!
 
#7 ·
I would definitely get a better picture of him, instead of a screenshot from a video. Groom him well, put him in a snazzy halter and get some confo shots to use instead. I would leave out this part of the ad altogether.
so make sure to check out PAC with APHA! Rock Solid World Tour on facebook has loads of info on SPB SHOWS too!
It doesn't help to sell him, and just makes the ad more cluttered.

This is getting a bit nit-picky, but I also noticed that he was on the wrong lead when he first cantered in the first video. Now that's not a huge deal to me, but if someone is down to two choices, and one picks up the right lead every time, well, it might sway some people. If you have other videos that you can link, pick the very best one, and link only it, like mls said. One link is enough for a classified, and if they want others, they can search, or you can give them links when they contact you for them. (I do have to say thanks for that video though, I'd never heard that song and really like it, lol)
 
#8 ·
I will try to change some things when I get home. Thanks guys!

He is 1 1/2 hr away so I can only get to him on sat, I will be getting photos & riding video then.

Also, I did space things out but dreamhorse puts it all in one big paragraph in the ad, so I can't help that
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#12 ·
So, like others have suggested, I would get better pictures of him. In the part: "and the best part is that he has a great mind like his sire I, personally, would drop the "the best part" and "like his sire". He looks like a nice horse though!

I'm not sure what the economy is like there, but here, $2000 for a horse like that would be a steal.
 
#15 ·
I would have to agree with what the others have said about his picture. I only see one other thing that just kinda bothers me personally, and that is the "I want to be a stay at home Mommy" and "Talk about a hard decision" part. I personally can't stand the word mommy, especially in an ad, but thats just me, lol. And I wouldn't mention this being a hard decision for you, cause that, to me as a buyer, tells me that you aren't fully committed to selling and may be wishy-washy.

Other than those minor things, it looks fine to me. He is a super mover and where I live, he would be gone in a heartbeat.
 
#17 ·
The ad reads much better now, I think. Once you get that picture switched out, I think it will help. I would also print flyers up or even print out the ad you have, and post them at local feed and tack stores, and mail them to some of the bigger stables in your area. Maybe they have someone looking.

I'm in NC, and around here you would likely not get that much for him unless he was fully trained. You might be able to get $1200 right now. But I don't know anything about the market where you are, so his price may be fine for your area. I just don't know.
 
#18 ·
DreamHorse.com Horse ID: 1645922 - Terron My Art Out

Here's the link. I would personally take a picture on a sunny day, something really nice. Remember pictures can be what causes the person to pick up the phone to ask about the horse or have them skip by it. Pictures are worth a thousand words. The picture now is a little greyish, and even though he looks really good in the pic, the first thing I noticed was how grey it is.
 
#20 ·
I agree with what everyone has said about the picture! As for his ad, I think its pretty decent really! Not sure about pricing and what not in your area, but here in WV its horrible, and you cant get much for horses.(from what Ive seen and heard anyways).

When I saw Rodeo's ad, his picture was horrendous! The written ad just gave the right information, and the right amount of it. It wasnt too much info, was just enough to get me, and many other people very interested!

Good Luck! Looks like a great horse!
 
#21 ·
Well, In Va and MD-I would really emphasize the warmblood part.....minimize the others. In my experiencce, at least in those areas, if it is tall and warmblood, it is worth a bit more.....but then, I gave my last prospect away for $500, and he sold for $15K in 6 mo after a trainer spent 6 days a week with him....at least I have a good eye.....lol
I really like this guy, but I love blacks.
 
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