Well, this isn't really too bad actually. lol No need for cliff jumping today! There are a few things you need to work on, but that's what critiques are for!
So kudo's to you for wanting to correct yourself!
Okay, so to start out, I'm going to give you a more recent picture of myself, just to compare.
Okay, so in this picture, you can see my two-point is effective. My heel and hip are lined up, and I am giving a large enough release for this pony to round over the jump.
In your photo's, your heel is down but has slid back slightly from the girth. This is the result of you standing in your stirrups and 'jumping ahead'. To prevent jumping ahead, you need to have a strong base of support (your calves) to hold you in place, and you need to remember to keep your crotch over the seat of your saddle, rather than the pommel. By pushing your bum back over the saddle, you will be staying with
your horse, and not jumping for him.
For your release, I always suggest at least half-way up the horse's neck (or more). That way, you can give your horse his head enough to stretch down, round over the jump and bring his knees up. With my students, I like to tie a little piece of ribbon in the mane a little more than halfway up the neck. Just until they learn where to place their hands. It also prevents them from 'popping up' on the landing (where the rider leans back and hits the horses back, while tugging on the mouth on the landing). Hold onto the ribbon until two strides after the jump and stay in your two point, and then sit back down.
**FOR A PROPER CREST RELEASE** Line your forearms up along your horses crest, DO NOT
drop your elbows. This is a common mistake seen a lot in the hunter ring. It is both NOT effective, and ugly. It doesn't help your horse one bit. They appear to be lying on the horse's neck. NO.
There should be at least a hand width between your belly button and their neck!
Also, for getting your strides right, I teach my students to count aloud three strides before the jump and then say 'UP' when the horse takes off. (ex. 'THREE TWO ONE. Up!"
It really helps!
Good luck :)
And I look forward to seeing 'update photo's'!