What a great thread, it is so nice to read about all the people here who have a horse addiction, but are also scared, nice because it means I am not alone.
I'm scared, scared of the what ifs and maybe's I've been through the standing on the mounting block trying to get enough courage to get on, in fact I regularly cycle back to that default setting
Having my own horses at home makes it easy for me, because if I get overwhelmed by fear of riding I can still ground work them, or just hang out and love on them, then I work may way up to riding again. Don't laugh but that sometimes means starting to wear my breeches around the house for a couple of days becuase that make me feel
like a rider.
As to will you ruin every horse, OF COURSE NOT, there are as others said some nice gentle souls out there who will be only to glad to look after you and will not take advantage of your nerves or any inexperience.
Just to let you know though, I bought a child safe, well broke, Haflinger, her role was to get me though my nerves and to start to enjoy riding again. Turned out to be a feisty spooky little mare, who just scared me more
Like you when I looked at horse ads I always looked for temp ratings of 1 or 2, so I still to this day don't know why I answered an ad in the local paper, for an Appy that was for experienced rider only, but I did, and I bought him , and Mr G has taken me from just riding around the farm, to competing in dressage and even doing some jumping.
It is the luck of finding the right horse for you, the one that 'feels' right, I started smiling as soon as I sat on Mr G, he was just the right one.