I totally understand how words on a computer screen can be confusing - that is why we need an educated coach who can competently work with us one on one, filling in the holes that have occured in our training.
Is there anyway your coach can put you on a more rounded, advanced, experienced horse? That way, you can focus on yourself and where you are and what you are doing. That way, the horse can teach you, so that you can grow and learn and mature.
Is this pony your pony? Or does she belong to the barn? Are you leasing her or are you assigned to her for lessons?
It is difficult for a green rider, to learn and grow and focus on themselves to improve, while being on a green horse. The green horse is still learning themselves, relying on their rider to teach and guide them.
Im leasing her starting next week so I can work with her more. And I pretty much see what im doing wrong. Next time I tape myself I think it will be better. I need to release a LOT more and push my butt back. That's all that I can see. I really wouldn't want to switch horses either because I like her a lot
Also to help strengthen your legs, it might help to work out during the week on the days you don't ride. I have one lesson a week and two days a week I work out (one day I do my arms, the other day I do my legs, both days I run 2 miles). I have to say, it REALLY helps.
Also, like MIEventer was saying, here's an example of what NOT to do:
See how I'm just standing up in the stirrups? I'm pinching with my knee, which is sending my lower leg back, and I'm standing straight up in the air. My whole center of balance is ahead of him, so he's going to have a hard time clearing the jump.
I totally agree with MIEventer on this. I'm also curious to why a horse so young is jumping so large already?! How long have you been riding? I believe that in order to start jumping you must start at the beginning with the basics.
There is an exciting rush to jumping and that is why we do it, however that doesn't mean AT ALL that you shouldn't do x-rails. I show 2 feet 6 inches - the 3 feet but some of my lessons we focus simply on x-rails, and those are the ones that help me the most!
As for helping to get your position further, I suggest lots of no stirrups, jumping position and general working out. By strengthening your muscles you wont be as loose in the saddle and your riding will progress by leaps and bounds! PM me if you want more help!
I don't see why everyone is being so hard on her and saying she shouldnt ride lacy! Lacy is normally a bad horse to ride but with lacylove she behaves obviously they match and I disagree that she's a green rider
I'm going to go off of what MIeventer suggested, to have a lesson on a longe line.
Try closing your eyes so you can really feel the horse's movement. Shutting off the visual aspect of riding really makes you feel a lot more. (Its kind of like feeling your way around a really dark room. You don't rely on your sight, but on your touch and sound)
If you feel comfortable on her, you can try closing your eyes while riding her. Though don't do it for too long.
I feel that you should go back down to basics with her. I saw in your previous jumping video that she would run out, and in this one she only ran out once, but she still did it. I feel there are some holes in her training and that's why she's doing it. Maybe she was rushed into jumping or maybe she is going too high too fast.
She's running out for a reason, either because she knows she can get away with it and you won't get after her (I personally think its this), or because she is nervous or anticipating the jump.
When you drop back down the basics and go over trot poles, then raised trot poles than a small cross rail, you can work on everything, not only with you, but with Lacy too.
Personally I feel that a 4 year old should not be jumping that high and definitely not oxers. The jumping basics (ground and trot poles) should be introduced and then at 5 start with some actual jumps. Just my personal preference.
The only thing I will say is that on the first 2 clips you were on the wrong canter lead. And just sit and wait for the fence to come to you, just ride to a steady tune in your head cantering in a rhythm