I know that there's not way to really tell but I am SO giving and soft with my hands. He seeks out the contact and comes back to me himself, and I never hang on the reins. Yes, I have contact but in no way am I hanging on my reins. I do not pull him into contact or "frame". I'm riding him in a gag bit right now because the other bit we were using wasn't enough. To keep him at a reasonable pace I was forced to be constantly pulling at him and we both hated that. He was ridden by his previous owner in this gag and has been going in it for a long time. It allows me to use much subtler cues and be so much softer with my hands. Once we're more used to each other we will switch back to his other bit, which is a rubber D snaffle.
And I don't really see what you see about the reins, but they're definitely not wrapped around my hands, ha ha. :]
I give myself very good advice, But I very seldom follow it