Thanks guys this will help heaps
I've only really started jumping propaly (over 50cms) this season and I only started half way through the season and the horse im riding is learning with me . . . When we got him he had absoloutly no back muscles and could barely canter a 20m circle , so we have a done a lot of dressage building up his back muscles and neck muscles he was my sisters horse and she did alot of work to get him the ways he is but she has recently stopped riding due to back , knee and shoulder problems (and to think she's only 18!) and I took over riding from him and I tend to get very handsy as he is VERY forward and has a "rocking horse " canter and is very powerful in the hind quarters now and so I tend to use my hands a lot to steady him as I don't have a very powerful seat and I also get evry nervous at the higher heights and evrything I've been told about releasing and letting him do his thing I seem to forget and it goes straight out the side door!!