What am I doing wrong?

So my big problem right now is turning in a trot. I cannot keep my butt in that seat to save my life, unless Im focused on that, then when I try to turn my butt comes off the seat so high, Im scared Im going to bounce off. I almost did once! But the thing is, my trainer rode my mare, and she said she doesnt understand why Im having such a hard time, b/c she is smooth. She's a quarab. I KNOW its me, I knew it was me, the whole time. I try keeping heels down, pressure on thighs, leaning back, sitting on pockets, but I can only keep my butt down for a few seconds, before I start bumping then double bumping, and Im scared Im going to hurt her back. Im scared Im coming off the seat! I don't know if my hips are tight or if my back is too rigid. Do I move with her like in the lope, but I bounce myself a little with her? (sounds stupid, but I havent figured it out in a month of doing what Im told...)

My trainer says that she doesnt think Im bouncing as much as I think I am, but Im bouncing and almost loosing grip in my stirrups before I have to grab the horn. Im really worried Im going to ruin my horse. We r both green. She just got started this summer, and I had only ridden a handful of times in the past. She is ready to move into a lope and run, but I am not! Im worried so much about staying in the seat that my hands jump to the horn to replace my butt, then Im not steering her anymore! I think she knows that too, b/c then she head for a treeline!

I don't think I realized how hard you have to pull on a green horse to turn, Im so scared Im going to hurt her mouth! And she is a super headstrong horse too. But I might be leaving things out here, but.... Im super scared nervous for a show coming up this weekend. I just wanna bring my horse back home, skip the show, and practice my seat at home in our huge fields...I've worked my nerves you so bad that my anxiety disorder has re-emerged!

I hope the video comes out, but please don't snip at things, Im very new to riding. I know I have alot to work on, but I need to feel comfortable in a trot before I can progress or continue learning...

Without a video I wouldn't say a word, and then, not to be critical but only to be helpful.

Wheater,

I hope this doesn't sound rude, but I was wondering how you ended up with a green horse and you say you are new to riding. Was it one of those unplanned things?
I am not new to riding, but I don't think I would really want a green horse. I just have more fun riding a horse where the buttons are all installed already, not the kind where I have to assemble it myself. (lame joke)

REally, without a video it's hard to say. It probably is a matter of being too stiff in the hips. It might really surprise you how much action needs to happen in the hip aread to keep your body from bouncing out of the saddle.
Do you by chance ski? Riding is a lot like skiing, especially skiing moguls.

One thing that I would consider is learning how to post the trot. This will help you work on your balance, take the stress off the horse's back and later you can ease into sitting trot.

Have no fear, the light bulb will go on, you'll "get" it, and from then on you ride your horse like a surfer rides the waves.

If you are just learning and not trying for any competitions then I would just pot to her trot until you both are more comfortabe

All I can really say is practice without stirrups, relax and lean back a little.

Saskia beat me to it but it sounds almost like you are tensing which is causing you to come up and out more. You shold rop your stirrups and practice some big circles and relaxing into them.

I think you are worrying too much about holding with the thighs. By tightening your thighs your are also tightening your knees and down to your ankles. Try riding at the walk and just thinking about letting your legs completely relax but keep your stirrups. Only when you feel you are doing this well should you ask for the trot. Don't worry if it's only a few strides as it's new for you. Just relax your legs at the walk again and try again at the trot. If your legs are relaxed the hinges-the hip, knee and ankle will work as shock absorbers.

First.... BREATH! I ran out of breath just reading your post.

Is there any way your trainer can put you and your horse on the lunge? This takes away your steering and allows you to focus on you. I would highly advise learning to post, though it will be more for you to manage on your own.

A great visual my trainer used to use was imagine your butt as chocolate melting in the sun. Relax and sink (this requires you to breath)... feel your horse's trot and relax your hips till your just bouncing along but not leaving the saddle. You want to think about your belly button coming up a bit (forming a C) to meet your chin. Obviously don't double over, but as you melt this is the direction you want to melt. If you're being lunged, try doing this with your eyes closed. Might help you relax. Or sing a song/talk to your trainer. Don't over analyze it... just breath relax.... wiggle your legs, arms, everything so you relax.

You have to pull hard on your horse because he/she doesn't know the subtler cues like leg and body pressure to turn. Just keep your requests smooth, don't randomly yank. I would advise as many rides as possible on a well schooled horse to boost your confidence.

Mmmmmmm melted chocolate! Imagine your butt is the ripe strawberry and the saddle is melted chocolate.....ok I digress, sorry. Stick with it, it'll come to you. Riding without stirrups builds a nice deep seat, that's your base, everything builds from there.

Hi, Without seeing you I would say you are trying to hard to keep your heels down which will actualy push your seat out of the saddle. Try riding with shorter stirrups till you get the feel of your horse and maybe do a slower trot, when you get more balanced and confident then ask a little more of yourself. Keep confident it does'nt happen over nite.
Cheers joanne