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*Sigh* Selling her =(

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        04-07-2011, 06:17 PM
      #11
    Started
    Having said that this makes me sad (it's sad because I know how much time and effort you've put in to this mare already), I do agree that if you're not happy it's best to find her a better fit with someone else and find YOU a better fit with another horse.

    I sold a horse like that - great horse with talent and looks. But we just did NOT get along and it wasn't worth it to me (for my mental health not to mention his) to keep forcing myself to try and make it work with a horse that I just couldn't mesh with the way I can with other horses. I sold him to a lovely amateur owner and they're so great together. I don't regret that decision for one second.

    Bottom line - do what is best for you. :)
         
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        04-07-2011, 06:46 PM
      #12
    Showing
    I'm sorry to hear, but I think you will be much happier with a calmer horse. In my area, someone might trade an older but well-broke horse for a young project, just because they want a younger horse and maybe a project, but you're most likely not going to get a perfectly calm, young sporthorse in exchange for her, as she seems to have a long way to go. If you're in a financial situation where you would still be okay if you got barely anything for her, keep an open mind about all inquiries that sound promising. There might be a perfect home that comes along, but they might not be able to pay full price for her.
         
        04-07-2011, 07:00 PM
      #13
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by crimsonsky    
    aww this makes me sad. You don't think with more time and training (for both of you) that it could work out?

    I have no idea what the horse market is like where you are so I can't really guess if she'd sell or not.
    I could put in a bit more effort and try not to be so worried on her. Today she was spooking so much but I made her go past and over the things she was spooking at. It that was me and her a few months ago I would have gotten off. I definitely have more confidence on her but I still don't feel right. I could maybe get a few lessons on her with the BO to see if she can help me relax. I have already told her I was afraid to ride her and she said 'well she is not bold she is just a TB' XD And she is right. She is hardly ever bold when ridden ( Apart from when she had a saddle that did not fit)

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by apachiedragon    
    Didn't she just spend a lot of time on stall rest? It could be she is just fresh from not getting worked much lately. Did you ever figure out what was going on with her lameness and hair loss?
    Yup...She has been out of the stable about 3 weeks now and has been lunged at least every second day. Like I said she has always rushed the trot and pulling in the canter. She is not lame anymore and it was mud fever causing the hair loss. Nearly all grown back though =D

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by CJ82Sky    
    oh im sorry to hear. It sounds to me like she needs more flat work and from the pics it looks like she's bracing against and/or avoiding the bit, and her ears are pinned in a lot of the pics. That usually tells me there is physical discomfort somewhere. She looks like she needs a lot of trot work to build muscle and balance and then she will be a lovely horse. Just remember going slow takes a lot more muscle, effort, and conditioning than going faster or rushed at all.

    All that said, if more training for her (and / or you with her) isn't an option, it may be best to part ways. Looking for a trade may be a good option as while she is talented, I don't know that from the pics I can see her doing a 3' course properly, though she certainly has loads of talent. As for sale price that is hard to say with how many TBs are out there right now but she definitely seems to me to be sellable with a ton of potential and with the right training and flat work, the potential to be a lovely jumper or even eventer. I just think she needs some holes in her training filled, and to learn to be soft and responsive to a simple snaffle and rebuild her responsiveness to the aids.

    Best of luck to you and her - she is absolutely lovely!
    She does brace against the bit alot. In walk she has an awesome outline! Then in trot she throws her head up in the air and rushes. In Canter she holds her head really low and pulls. Of course this could partly be my fault because I am so awkward on her. I am all over the place, my legs do not stay still and my rising is just terrible. But that is because I am tense when on her. I rode a pony yesterday who had box rest for four months and had not been ridden in 6 months. I was perfectly fine on him. Not a hint of fear at all. Because I know he would be good and I am more used to him than Lola XD He is my favourite pony =D

    Oh and she has been checked for pain all over. Nothing was found. I am guessing it is the bit because I have been told before I got her she has a sensitive mouth.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by CJ82Sky    
    as an aside I always say when your horse isn't listening to you or there is a disconnect, go back to the basics. Take off all the training aids, nosebands, etc., and ride in just a simple solid, single, or double jointed snaffle and that will help you identify pretty quickly where the horse is missing training. Is she gaping at the bit? Chomping? Evading? Pulling? Work on communication with the simplest of devices and then go from there. I ride all of my horses especially all off season with no martingales, nosebands, curb reins, nothing. Just the basics - to keep them AND ME in tune! :) it really works if you are willing to give that a try - just know it's a slow method and it does take time!
    She always has her mouth open trying to get her tongue over the bit. Which is why she has a flash. I am going to take that off tomorrow and try a different type of bit. I am not sure on what type though...Maybe a single jointed since the one she has now is double jointed. And probably just a regular snaffle or D-Ring. She is always chewing on the bit. And pulling yes.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wyominggrandma    
    I am going to say that I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with deciding to sell or trade a horse that you have decided is not being what you want, not doing what you want and making riding a chore instead of fun and enjoyable. Sure I imagine working with a trainer, getting professional help, quick fixes, long term fixes are all possible, but if you are not enjoying your horse, then it is time to do exactly what you are thinking of doing.
    The best thing I ever did was trade a 6 year old that I was not happy with, did not enjoy riding and even got to making excuses why I did not have time to ride for a 7 yr old mare that was suited and trained just how I liked her. She is almost 9 and the past almost two years have been so enjoyable and fun, and I love to ride again.
    I advertised her in the local "online ads" wanting to sell or trade the 6yr old for a older well trained horse and Smokie is what I got.
    Don't feel bad about giving up, there are way to many good horses that you will enjoy out there and plenty of folks are willing and even want to work with a horse that has issues. Funny thing is, sometimes when the right person climbs aboard a horse that you are not in sync with, that person immediately jells and they work.
    I know how much advice is given for getting a trainer, etc but sometimes a person can't afford a trainer, I know I can't. So, you have to work with what you have and what you can afford and working with a horse that does not sync with you is not fun.
    Thanks so much for this! It made me feel a lot better! I just absolutely adore this horse when I am not on her XD After I had decided to sell or trade her I seen her up in the field and I was like how can I do this?! I am so bad about feeling guilty over nothing..

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tinyliny    
    Sarah, Judgeing from the many posts you have shared with us, I think this might be a wise decision on your part. I bet you have mulled this over and over in your head for a long time, no? If you have a horse that isn't fun to ride, scares you and frustrates you , and you don't have real help onhand (this forum does not count as real help), then you may or may not be able to pull yourself out of this place. If you can find her a good place and a rider who is just ahead of you on the spectrum of experience and training, then Lola will be better off , too.
    You cannot wish yourself into being a better rider than you are. It takes time, time and more time. There is NO shame in acknowledging this. There are a lot of horses out there that are WAY over my head and I would be really uncomfortable if I had to ride them daily.

    For two years I leased a horse that in actuality was Just over my head. I managed, but it was always just by the skin of my teeth. I did get to be a better rider, but riding in fear all the time was not fun.

    Having a hrose that I can get up on, go for a ride and pretty much know that he will not hand me more than I can deal with has made me enjoy riding so much more, and though he is not as challengeing of a ride, I feel that my confidence has actually increased, not decreased.

    So, this is meant to say not to feel embarassed or anything. Just start looking and be hopeful that you will find yourself a much better suited horse soon.
    Wishing you luck on the journey.

    Caroline

    Yep I have been pretty much thinking about this for a few months. But before I only decided to sell her because I was scared, upset or angry. Today I felt none of those but I thought it was the right thing to do. And then I feel guilty when I just see Lola in my head...Grrrr...Stupid guilty conscience. I don't even know why I feel so guilty! She won't know the difference XD

    I really do want to own a horse that I can ride without feeling terrible. One that I can do anything with and not be scared. My confidence is a disgrace anyways either way. I will need a very good horse that will not put a foot wrong to feel safe again.

    I am always so nervous before I get on her. I don't trot for like ten minutes..

    But another thing is I have this thing that means I am always in pain. So that could be part of the reason I cannot stay on a horse too long. My back is always sore. I really do not know. Maybe I should just take lessons on the school horses to see if it is really Lola or if it is me.
         
        04-07-2011, 07:28 PM
      #14
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Sarahandlola    
    Thank you all for such kind comments! It is really helping me. I will answer them all in a while I just gotta go get some food =P

    But I did read the first post before I went out earlier and it had me thinking maybe I could try again with her. I was thinking of trying a different bit tomorrow. But I always do this! I always say I am going to sell her then someone says just keep trying then I do and it goes well until something happens again =/

    Oh and yes she had box rest but even before that she rushed her trotting and pulled against the bit in canter. That is why I am going to try a less harsh bit to see if it will help
    sarah - just remember, just because she can do better doesn't mean that you and her are the right match. If you are focused on jumping and showing now, then perhaps another horse would be better.

    If you do decide to try again with her and are thinking of going back to basics, I think that is also a wonderful idea, however please know my suggestions of a softer bit and lots of trot (tons like trot until you hate it lol!) is a long slow method. Don't expect your first ride to be better - it may even be worse until she realizes it is a softer bit and she can accept it rather than fight it and so on. If you have the patience for it the payoff can be astounding, but it does take time. I'm working through that with my horses (as we do every spring) and we put at least a month of several times a week of trot work into them before we look for cantering and jumping on any sort of a regular basis. I swear it makes a huge difference, but it's not something everyone wants to do.

    *hugs* & good luck to you whichever you decide!
         
        04-07-2011, 07:40 PM
      #15
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Sarahandlola    

    Yup...She has been out of the stable about 3 weeks now and has been lunged at least every second day. Like I said she has always rushed the trot and pulling in the canter. She is not lame anymore and it was mud fever causing the hair loss. Nearly all grown back though =D
    Shucks, I was really hoping maybe she was just being frisky from being cooped up. (I haven't followed any of your threads except the one about her leg issues, so I'm not really familiar with her.)

    I agree with everyone else that you need to go with your heart on this one. If you two aren't a good match, well, it happens. That doesn't mean you love her any less. If you've exhausted your options, and are still not enjoying your rides with her, then you have to do what you must. I have to give you kudos for being mature enough to realize that not everyone can fix every horse.
         
        04-07-2011, 08:20 PM
      #16
    Started
    Sarah - when I posted my last reply I didn't see your reply to us :)
    You shouldn't feel guilty - if you and her don't click, all the training in the world isn't going to force it. There has to be a need for some chemistry there imo and it sounds like while you absolutely love her, that chemistry just isn't there.

    I try to think of it this way - why not let her find someone she can click with and you a horse you can click with?

    And in the meantime why not try the bits (like you already are yay!) and see if it can't improve things in the short term. And if they improve that you want to keep her then yay. And if not then when you sell her you know you have helped her make progress as well.

    See? Win/win/win situations all around! :)
         
        04-07-2011, 08:21 PM
      #17
    Foal
    I'm really sorry to hear about this! But I kind of know what you're going through.
    I love my new horse like nothing else! After some ground work, she's sweet as can be. On the ground.
    The third time I rode her I dislocated my shoulder and cracked my collar bone because she bucked me off three times and the third time was the charm.

    I was ready to trade her for my friends gelding who goes to a different college. But my coach thinks that we are a great match because she thinks if I can learn to correct her problems, I'll have become a better rider in the process and my mare will bond with me throughout the training.

    And it is hard! Don't feel bad if you feel the need to trade her in. Like I said, I love my horse and I have already made up my mind that I will work with her for another six months. If she gets better, or even shows improvement, I will keep her. If not, she isn't the horse for me and I need to move on. I want to do it, but I can't spend forever on a horse if I will never be enough for her.

    Anyway. Don't be afraid to ride her! But don't be ashamed that you're afraid either. Sometimes when I'm nervous about riding my horse, I think about all the so-called 'rodeo riders' that ride bucking horses for a living (not that I approve, I'm totally against it), but imagine all the times they fall off and pop right back off, uninjured. Don't take my story for an example. I had stayed on for two hours of bucking and ridiculous behavior and she gave a tiny crowhop and I fell on my own head. That's bad riding and balance on my part.

    But I totally respect you for being able to come out and talk about this. It's awesome that you are willing to admit you love a horse, but it's not the horse for you.
    Good luck in whatever you decide!!
         
        04-07-2011, 08:21 PM
      #18
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by apachiedragon    
    Shucks, I was really hoping maybe she was just being frisky from being cooped up. (I haven't followed any of your threads except the one about her leg issues, so I'm not really familiar with her.)

    I agree with everyone else that you need to go with your heart on this one. If you two aren't a good match, well, it happens. That doesn't mean you love her any less. If you've exhausted your options, and are still not enjoying your rides with her, then you have to do what you must. I have to give you kudos for being mature enough to realize that not everyone can fix every horse.
    well said, my friend!
         
        04-07-2011, 08:32 PM
      #19
    Yearling
    I skimmed threw the post. I just wanted to say....(Like some others said)

    Go with your heart. I had a thoroughbred mare (My First Horse) My love horse. Well I just couldn't connect with her no matter what. We just couldn't connect. Yes it hurts but what matters the most is your safety and hers. I cried three days. I did it for the best and have no regrets, cause I went with my heart. I hope you make the right decision. (What you think is right)

    Anyway, if I could fix her i'd think about taking her but i'm no horseman/trainer. Well not yet.

    Good Luck, Bye.
         
        04-08-2011, 06:12 AM
      #20
    Weanling
    Thanks guys! It is really hard. I will probably cry too XD But even if I am selling her I have to ride her etc to make her look a little better. And I have to get her a passport so she will be staying another few weeks before I put her up for sale/trade. I will ask some of the instructors what they think she would sell for. And maybe I will get them to ride her to see if she is fixable.
         

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