Originally Posted by SammysMom
I'm glad my instincts are to be too indulgent rather than to get angry and take it out on him. This way I can find my strength and leadership pleasantly :)
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I think there is a middle ground there. Being firm and having expectations is not necessarily geting angry. It's more about being really, reallly clear with what you want, not being sidetracked by the horse's emotional responses, and not giving up when you are half way there.
I just had a lesson tonight, and some things I am kind of getting, but when my teacher gets on, she expects sooooo much more out of the horse. It sometimes looks a bit rough, but what it is is the horse coming to meet her expectation, and her "hanging in there" until he does, and if his resistance is strong, it may take some time and firmness on the rider's part to change the horse's mind. But being angry is not part of that. It's being "firm".