Advice: friend too heavy for horse - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 71 Old 02-20-2013, 07:20 PM
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In any case, I hope you'll get back to us and let us know how it went. I am now curious.
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post #32 of 71 Old 02-20-2013, 10:23 PM
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I'm not saying the 20% rule is wrong. I'm just saying if you take a 1200 pound horse and go for that guideline...that's 240 pounds. Add rider, saddle and tack and a whole lot of men and many women are way over that.
I read an article by Dr. Deb Bennet that says 250 pounds for almost any horse period. She says that just because a horse weighs more does not mean he was built to carry weight. She uses the example of the thoroughbred, tall certainly and can be heavier but never bred to carry any weight at all. Whereas ponies have carried a lot of weight for their height and size for centuries.
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post #33 of 71 Old 02-21-2013, 02:32 AM Thread Starter
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Ok.. So would you guys mind reading my email before I send it off? Gahhh I am so dreading this.
To the person who asked why I'm afraid to disappoint her, because she's my friend. Just because its the right thing to do doesn't make it easy. Think about if it were you? It would break my heart hearing that I couldn't do what I love because of something I'm already so self-conscious and insecure about.

So, here's my first draft of the email.

So, I'm feeling pretty awful right now. I don't really know how to say this, but I'm worried about Breezie's feet and past lameness issues and when the farrier came out to look at her, her back was a little sore. She hasn't shown soreness since then, but I'm kinda paranoid about her because my entire business is riding on her, literally. There's a 20% rule that vets recommend for the amount of weight a horse can carry. A horse can carry 20% of their weight, Breezie is about 1100 pounds. Plus, with her past issues with lameness, I'm just really afraid to risk it with her. You're such an awesome friend and I love hanging out with you! I want you to come out and hang out at the ranch still, there are a ton of things that Breezie could use work with from the ground, like lunging and ground driving. There are other horses out there that the owners have offered to let me work with, and I bet they'd be fine with you getting them out and giving them a good (and much needed) grooming. Please don't be mad at me. I'm really sorry. I'm just trying to do what's best. I'll be out at the ranch all day on Saturday and you're more than welcome to come out. I have lessons at 9 and 1, but if you want to come out and get a pony fix, please do. You're awesome, and I know how hard you're trying, and I know how much horses coming back into your life means to you, and I don't want to take that away from you. I'll talk to you later buddy.
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post #34 of 71 Old 02-21-2013, 02:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G8tdh0rse View Post
I'm not saying the 20% rule is wrong. I'm just saying if you take a 1200 pound horse and go for that guideline...that's 240 pounds. Add rider, saddle and tack and a whole lot of men and many women are way over that.
I read an article by Dr. Deb Bennet that says 250 pounds for almost any horse period. She says that just because a horse weighs more does not mean he was built to carry weight. She uses the example of the thoroughbred, tall certainly and can be heavier but never bred to carry any weight at all. Whereas ponies have carried a lot of weight for their height and size for centuries.
I would tend to go closer to 30% under normal circumstances, based on findings from endurance horses who carried up to 32% over 100 miles without problems.
The 20% rule was just more " convenient" for this case
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post #35 of 71 Old 02-21-2013, 02:43 AM Thread Starter
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I'm also leaning on the lighter side due to my horses other issues
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post #36 of 71 Old 02-21-2013, 02:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tessa7707 View Post
Ok.. So would you guys mind reading my email before I send it off? Gahhh I am so dreading this.
To the person who asked why I'm afraid to disappoint her, because she's my friend. Just because its the right thing to do doesn't make it easy. Think about if it were you? It would break my heart hearing that I couldn't do what I love because of something I'm already so self-conscious and insecure about.

So, here's my first draft of the email.

So, I'm feeling pretty awful right now. I don't really know how to say this, but I'm worried about Breezie's feet and past lameness issues and when the farrier came out to look at her, her back was a little sore. She hasn't shown soreness since then, but I'm kinda paranoid about her because my entire business is riding on her, literally. There's a 20% rule that vets recommend for the amount of weight a horse can carry. A horse can carry 20% of their weight, Breezie is about 1100 pounds. Plus, with her past issues with lameness, I'm just really afraid to risk it with her. You're such an awesome friend and I love hanging out with you! I want you to come out and hang out at the ranch still, there are a ton of things that Breezie could use work with from the ground, like lunging and ground driving. There are other horses out there that the owners have offered to let me work with, and I bet they'd be fine with you getting them out and giving them a good (and much needed) grooming. Please don't be mad at me. I'm really sorry. I'm just trying to do what's best. I'll be out at the ranch all day on Saturday and you're more than welcome to come out. I have lessons at 9 and 1, but if you want to come out and get a pony fix, please do. You're awesome, and I know how hard you're trying, and I know how much horses coming back into your life means to you, and I don't want to take that away from you. I'll talk to you later buddy.
I, personally, would not email. I would talk to her. Tell her about the health problems and that, based on the 20% rule, you couldn't risk to lose her as the only school horse. Tell her you would love to have her help you, and how important she would be. But that for now, riding has to go on the backburner unless you get to use somebody's healthy horse. Have her do the math. 220 including tack, for the moment. Make it sound scientific.
But, in person. I would appreciate that in her shoes....
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post #37 of 71 Old 02-21-2013, 05:40 AM
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I'm also a heavier rider. Saying it straight out really is the best way. And bottom line, your horse, your rules. I'd also would say that a phone call or in person would be better but be prepared for her to be upset that way. Perhaps not even with you, but with herself and losing an opportunity to ride because of her weight.

The main think I noticed about your email, you never came out anywhere and said that she can't ride your horse anymore at her current weight. You kind of skirted around saying that straight out. She'll need to hear/see those specific words. You said about different things she can do instead, which is great. But, make sure you put in around the beginning of your email that she is not able to ride your horse at this time. Maybe tell her a specific weight limit with tack. Whatever that 20% would come out perhaps.
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post #38 of 71 Old 02-21-2013, 09:42 AM
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Agreed, don't email. You're just hiding from her. Be a real friend, step up, and talk to her. No one is saying its easy, but it has to get done.
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post #39 of 71 Old 02-21-2013, 09:46 AM
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Tessa, please don't e-mail her. You really need to tell her face to face, or at least via phone call.

You also don't want to side-step the issue, as you seem to be doing in your e-mail. You need to tell her straight up that you're concerned for your horse's health if she continues to ride the mare. The fact that she's above the 20% rule without adding in the weight of tack should at least make her think.

An 1,100 pound horse shouldn't have to carry more than 220 pounds INCLUDING tack. At 300 pounds, just her own body weight is well above that.
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post #40 of 71 Old 02-21-2013, 10:12 AM
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Thanks for remembering that your horse is your friend too...
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